bloody

cant remember wad exactly caused me to haf sorethroat..now im lyk coughing blood!alas..despite all the liang teh,sorethroat pills etc..sighh..
nonetheless i went kbox today..now my throat is really feeling bad, can feel the heat in my throat..the burning feeling..urghh..mb its a blessing in disguise..nid nt cheer during halll camp next week..den gear up for ktv w huishan n kangjian..hey mel wanna come alg oso?plan: 11-2pm kbox at parkway parade after dat..blading at east coast park!haha..so me gtta protect my voice!!

todays kbox session aint exactly as fun as ive thot..first my fran was late!even later than me..sianx..i did mention dat i dun realli like guys to be late..okie its again a guy gal thing..yah..trying to bitch again..to complain again..haha..hey dude luckily me aint ur gf..haha..so ended up waiting for him:( den gt a rm which is too big for 2 peeps..n the food aint tempting..suxs!walked ard marina sq den suntec after dat..quite sick of the places..dats y becm quite boring afterdat..sighh..if ya ask if i did enjoy myself not ill sae 55/100..ooppss!haha

oh yah a pt to note for GUYS!!!haha..actually can be applied to gers as well..
pls do not wear bermudas n slippers to shop!!n esp. w a ger ya?its quite unglam!dats how i feel..hm..at least wear jeans n shoes?more proper ritex?okie..im being picky here..at least this the minimum a guy shld be clad in be it gg out w ger/guy..so pls..think this is not too high an expectation i guess!

thanks for riding me home..its realli scary to be on a bike..this the second time im on ur bike n ill definitely be the last time!my mum will slaughter me!will disown me!will nag at me!will jus be exremely disappointed in me!will lose trust in me if she were to find out!luckily mes safe n sound n living now..so charmaine me cnt ride on ur bike when u finally gt one as well:) but me noe u will gt ur licence soon!!oh yah mentioning bt charmaine..she has good dress sense mans!!u guys shld learn frm her!!haha

i dread gg bk to hall on sat!i realli dread it..thot camp will end on wed but me was wrg..jus realised i wld end on thurs morn!sian!!mummy!save me!im bk to my yr 1 days when im dreading hall camps!im well aware its diff. now cos as a leader in hall i mus set an example..but im realli exhausted frm all these!seriously speaking if me noe that by joining the comm. it will result in me irking hall life, i sldnt haf done so last yr!i shldnt!!i aint enjoying!i can sense my depression setting in again..i dont seem to noe hw to control hw im feeling..mb mes hafing split personality.mb i do nid some medical aid..yeah..

my hall senior is salvaging my lappie..tink hes still managing quite well w it..though he aint frm computer engine he tried to help me..im appreciative twds this gesture but i tink im screwed!i knew he wun be so nice to help me w/o condition..i nid help!i dun wanna go out one-on-one with him..its gonna b super awkward!pls can someone advise me wad to do..hw to reject n stuf?hmm..if i knew i wld haf sent it straight to 8 flags though me hafta pay for the repairs..sigh..its realli betta of than hafing to entertain him..guess me will ask yj to accompany me:p im seriously turned off by the idea of gg out w him..hw silly i can gt?!!urghh!i tink im jus stupid!!so stupid that even me cant std myself!

oh yah..thanks kh for accompanying me ytd:) thanks for driving me home as well..so far frm jurong:p thanks thanks!!

my tutee was so sweet..hafing known dat mes hafing sorethroat, he offered me a sorethroat candy during lesson ytd:) so nice of him to do so!haha..jus realised that hes hafing his prelims this cming week!n he had his oral prelims exam alr..told me he cld handle..phew!hmm..so this will be my excuse for skipping a day of my hall camp on sun!!tuition!!

not gg to care wad others sae..not wishing to hear wad others sae..not hoping to seek any understding..im gg to do wad i want..wad i realli enjoy..im sick..im tired..i jus wan my freedom n stop telling me that as a______ im SUPPOSE to_______. ive had enuf!!!u r driving me crazy!i cant breathe alr!im stressed!i nod the beach..the serenity in the morning..the breeze..these calming elements:)

understanding myself has become a chore

ivw cm to realise its true that dreams wun cm true..realli no matter hw hard i dream..wad i dream..it will nv come true..no wonder my mum told me not to daydream..not to set too high an expectation cox no one can match mine in reality!yah no..im afraid to fall in love..not that ive been in one bfore..its cox im afraid he aint the one..it has gt its ups n downs definitely..im jus afraid that it will be too painful..i dun wan my heart to ache..to bleed cox i dun wanna experience the healing process again