bored

e boredom is getting onto me..

me jus completed the da vinci code by dan brown!
see im so bored ritex?

im gg to swim in the morn tml so i mus quickly finish this entry and go to bed!

yah..nv felt so bored for ages!haha..

yest i met up with weinee!and we jus sat at the coffee club at wisma and chatted!for nearly 3hrs!believe it or nt!
we jus talked and talked..bt the guys who cm and went in our lives..yah..and its really came and went..haha..we bitched and expressed our regrets and stuff
weinee!u mus take care okie!
i was a bit taken aback when i heard u sae those things..worried oso!
weinee!u r my idol!i noe u can do it!jiayou!
now u noe my current status and feelings and...yah!i will lk for ya and u mus promised to cm to me if ya need help k?wad ya said is true and ill ponder over it dear!

an iceberg melting?no!i dun tink im moved at all!yesh!i mus remain an iceberg!i mus rem dat im cold!im unwavered..and wads more..aft one wk things will be diff!yesh!diff..i dare nt pin too much hope..though he msged me todae..so?i dun gif a damn!

yah i dun!i cant!i dun wanna b hurt!not again!no!i cant!

or do i?am i realli feeling dat wae?y issit so hard to sever this pain..?im withdrawing myself alr..i jus cnt help to long for sth..i admit i cant let go..

oh no!this is nv ending..its bad!i dunno..i dun wanna noe..i cnt imagine..i jus hope smone will tk over this place..i noe its unfair to this person..but...

i dun wanna tink further..a wk w/o contact may be better..yah..god bless us and bless me lord!

aiyo!

todae getting results alr..i am not having any special feelings abt it..

btw just got a B for me last ge..so okie lahx..

my main aim now is to settle my exercise regime!and yes!went swimming today and going to get a new swimsuit tml and offf to the pool again!im going to be super onz swimming since me gt nothing to do other than giving tuition and swimming and shopping..

i mean window shopping coz no work how to shop..haha..

i am going to be bired to the corecoz al frans haf fd jobs haha..

he is gg pattaya frm mon to sat so if we were to meet up it will a wk ltr..

hey!whus free jio me out leh!haha..

kkie..its late and mes gg to slp sn..

(darrens nt gg overseas alr..so hes gg to b my co gl again..latest update frm jeremiah:)

sleeping well tonitex!

the BEACh!

yeah!i finally went to the beach today!haha..thot will be cycling but in the end..never..!

yah..currently still jobless!so nothing to do..
haha..

yah..went dere with him..thot it wld rain..in the end didnt..he asked if i wanna learn cycling but i wasnt prepared leh..haha..realli missed the times when i was still in vj..the running route..but the open air food center has been renovated..

i wanted to go bedok jetty and aft he parked his car nearby we strolled dere!e feeling the calmness the peacefulness was back..when we walked dn to the end of the jetty!and dis time rd it feels diff coz its w a diff person..yah...haha..

we laughed at the uncles..the fish..the peeps..we crapped...he told me bt his life his duty in the army..his jc life..haha..even his gfs and alot bt rain...yah..i knew much more..bt his parents..their bkgrd..rain n stuff..cun believe we tok..i mean i listened to his stories and as n when chipped in..haha..

den at ard 7pm went to the renovated lagoon hawkwe to eat!i felt real guilty eating those food!but gor wans to eat..so i no choice..guess wad!
he ordered..satay sugarcane and bbq stingray..me ordered my fav rojak and he wanted the oyster omelette...din touched dat..onli a bit of the egg!
dats y mes slping early to swim tmr morn!going to swim for an hr n a half!haha..no choice n tmrs gg to diet!

haha..he said sm funny stuff abt finding bf and dunno wad..wad husband..dunno wad always be mine..huh?
dunno wad..i choose not to tink bt it..given me status nw..haha..hes nice..but im not longing/hoping for anithing alr..its tiring..and mes nt gg to exhaust meself lidat..

hes gg pattaya next wk..asked me to go?me dun wan..no bucks oso..haha..he wans me to go for the kelong one..mb bah..haha..mes filling up me next wk wif activities since mes jobless..onli tuition..haha..

slpin nw..pool!!here i come!!whoohoo!!!

blOgging heals E soul!

im so bored!

its been a long time since im feeling this way!

aiyo!gave tuition for the past two daes:P wow!suddenli felt so shiong..!
but wat to do?mus wk den can earn money..some more jobless!3 students at one go..4.5 hrs of tuition..one after another..some more consecutive for 2 daes!wow!

nvm..joleens shen!

but seriously speaking i dunno when my fuel will run dry..i need the money!yes!to support the halls, schs and personal expenses..given the things which i wanna do..to save up and my monthly singing course..wow!me need to be a 'mini' millionaire!haha

finished one book..starting another..mes trying to pack meself with stuff to do..to go out with friends!and yesh!mes meeting yanshan in 12 hrs' time and meeting weinee on tuesday!haha..wed n thurs will be tuition..sat and sun too! but sat n sun may hafta wk at the wrld book fair!

i hope will gt calls for jbs!else veri sianx..and the trainer for the bk fair is stressing me out!aiyo!c'mon!we r dere to help sell the bks not to compete who can ans ur stupid qns in the shortest possible time lehx..

btw jeremiah told me that darren is not gg to be gl animore..no special feeling but jus wanna blog it dn..felix may be the next best alt..haha..acc. to jeremiah..hillst. may gt an imported male gl..jus lyk ladyhill hafing an imported joleen..dat is if im moving to mayfair..hope i do!

yah toking bt jeremiah..hes quite nice..haha..dat dae was asking him hw to get to gt to the jurong east swimming pool and he act. helped to check it out and msged me the cfmed mrt station!haha..nice nice..in the end we fd e place!hey!me and huishanx were zai too kaex!

recently,guys are behaving weirdly..but joleen has chosen to block off everything!me s not reacting..so sorrie..and please dun jio me to club!i wun go!haha..
i hope u gt wad i mean..so sorrie to turn ya dn..but i jus dun club!sorrie..

mixing a lot w galfrans!

good!

went out with my meimei on fri!we bought lotsa stuff!at least i was bk w a fila bag,a pair of goggles and 3 tops!one frm fox 2 frm baleno!!

im so bored!people jio me out lehx!haha..

weilin!come back quickly!waiting for ya to come k w us!hurry!

sun burnT?

wow!

i actually can get sunburn!i really din noe dat!haha

today me n huishan-me very good friend whom ive made through nbs orientation camp last year went to the jurong east swimming complex!haha..just felt like gg to swim and have fun so since huishans work hasnt started so decided to jio her out..

guess wad!reached dere at 9.30am thinking that it is too early for a storm to occur but...the sky was menacingly black over at lakeside...aiyo!scary dear!haha
me n huishan..as gungho as ever still insisted..luckily it merely drizzled and we were blessed w partially good weather!heng ah!haha..was bored w the 'fun' so we returned the flaots and started some serious swimming in the competition pool!
yah!dis is where the burning started!haha..swam continuously for 45mins den slacked in the pool till 1pm!
whoohoo!toked and tanned!haha..finally the sun was out!den got burnt on the face!i was still laughing at huishan!when she commented dat me too!oopps!haha...

after dat us!e two hungry souls headed to ikea to eat!haha..MEATBALLS!yumyum!slurp!huishan also saes nice!so see me taste..walked round ikea to look for hall's decor!hee..mus save up alr..act. wanted to go queenways shopping center..but we were too tired and it really poured at ard 5 plus..so we decided to head home..heeeheee

fun but tiring day..coz i woke up super early!guess huishan was feeling similar..:P

im very glad to have known huishan!if not me life in ntu will be veri miserable..and im gg to be real stranded..act. to think of it..im a veri blessed gal!since primary mes always not afraid to be without friends..especially in tk vj and now god is kind enough to let me meet a friend like huishan..heng ah!(hey!dats my surname!)haha

yah as i was saying..huishan is my closest friend in ntu..my soulmate!thanks huishan!

good friends are hard to come by and we shall treasure them!
and i am very confident dat i have a few true blue good friends at this pt of my life!thank you god for being for being so kind to me!

me cant go for og gathering at gors place again tml..a bit dissappointed..but promised mei to go shp alr..haha..but nvm lar..his hse is lyk hw far away..another time bah..

im giving meself space..and learning to relax and not to pin any hopes on any thing..jus let things be bah..

darius!dun worri!joleen is going to be fine..thanks a lot for your concern dude!we shall go k when linnie is back!ey!org lei!get the veri long hrs lei!me gt one whole list of songs to k!heehee...

take care everyone..think this hols mes gg to be partial jobless..onli tuition and a short temp job..
haha..act. i dun realli mind..its been a lg lg time for me to be this slack alr!haha..enjoying meself man!haha

iTS nOt too BAd aFTerall!

yah its wasnt as bad as i thought..

i went out with him..yah went out on a one on one 'date' with him yeaterday..was really apprehensive to meet him actually..dunno why..maybe coz tink we dun really have much to talk about..i wanted to pass him the cookies which ive bought for him:)

yah i was early n was alr at orchard at 1pm.after gg to a jb agency in the morn w huishan and mel.he woke up at ard 1+pm and he msged to meet at 43opm..was fine w it and went to gt bks frm orchard lib and happily indulged myself in a cup of vanilla latte at coffeebean whilst reading e bk..

huishan saw him online..she told him to come n meet me asap..he wanted to go for a swim first..but coz of huishans wrds he din go swim afterall..i wasnt pissed or anithing that he made me wait..afterall im always waiting for pple to turn up..for the past years my frans even the gals.. i dun mind or maybe its coz of another reason? i cnt confirm..

he msged me n told me that hes on his way alr..i asked why he din go swim?as usual..he thought i din noe its coz of huishans chiding dat he decided to come earlier..he msged dat hes worried dat im alone and will be bored..!haha..c'mon lah!huishan called me lor!hey!mes nt stupid u noe!try to sd nice issit..try harder yeah!mes nt like ur other gals boy!u can do all the sweet talking..its nice to hear..touches one heart..but..hey!joleens noe her stuff..coz i didnt show..im smart kaex?

went to watch the interpreter..nt too bad though..he finished half of my popcorn!and the cookies which i gt for him..haha..

ill give him credit to be sweet enough to bring a huge addidas sweater with him..
for me i mean..haha..and it was really comfy to be covered in it during the show as it was really cold!thanks boy!yah!maybe dis is the kinda of little minor things that will make me feel a little for him..

mes a simple gal..jus a little care n concern ill be happy already..haha..

he drove me home..yah its nice coz dun nid to take train and walk 2 stops back home..its lyk the 2nd time if im nt wrong dat he sent me hm..or was it the 1st?i cant remember

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i told my mum bt him and the stuff he told me yeaterday and wad he did..his actions his words..yah my mum is very open bt dis kinda of things..which is good!my mum is lyk my fran..

she act din disapprove me gg out with him in the future..if ever deres one!yah..she jus asked me to be careful about wad he said and his various more than intelligent qns and ways to sd me out..haha..im nt ignorant too u noe!im nt taken in by ur wrds n sweet talking dear..haha..coz im immune to them alreadi!yes im!

btw shanx and tingx dun tink highly of him..yah not at all..tingx saes he does not look lyk a good guy..shanx commented nonstop dat he lks lyk a beng..haha

okok..me mum tinks otherwise though..haHA

he has his mind of his own..he plans for his future..a high achiever..a focused boy..but sad to say a flirt?

haha..he has so many gals who throw emelves at him..no fear that he will be lonely..he goes out will different gals..haha..flirt?maybe?maybe not..he goes out with them cox he wans to noe them better yah better as in to find out more about em..i think its not considered flirting..y am i finding excuses for someone whom everyone calls him a flirt?i dunno ..jus dun ask me y?i realli dunno..

jus wan the storm in my heart is clearing..deres another waiting to come..i cant let my heart be filled w this feeling again..yah..i am a deep thinker..i jus think too much..sometimes i jus hope to nt be bothered bt it so much..

im seriously tired..real exhausted..im a depressed soul..i cant wait to see a peaceful sea..a beautiful shore..a better joleen!

pINk vIsor!

firstly i would like to thank yanshan yiting and charmaine for celebrating me 20th birthday with me at billy bombers yesterday!
its has been years and its so sweet dat we still meet up!haha..

hmm..next will ya our dearest tingx and charmx bdae!

me and shanx mus tink of a place and gifts already dearies!

haha..me LOVE the visor!on top of that its PINK!yes its soft baby pink!so so sweet!
heh now ive a white cap a puma reddish pink cap and a soft pink visor!suddenly its caps overload!haha..

i LOVE E GIFT!!thanks babes!heehee

todae had vj clas gathering and as usual a few of us paiseh us again!wadever!urghh!

yah..and as usual jon is still as crappy and hes always disturbing..he is a nice guy lah..talented..excellent speaker!and actually to be truthful hes actually a charismatic boy..if hes not so vulgar tink hes a nice bf!haha..tink he shud be lah..

e guys still look the same btw..haha..a bit awkward after looking at those in uni!haha..uni guys are lots more mature and yah more gentlemanly bah!haha

me status?nw?

i dun care about guys/no guys!they are not gg to be part of my life!
as what i had blogged before..i am in the state of recovery..yah..i am immersing meself in joy and laughter..to forget the hurt the pain the depression and shit which were with me for months..i am learning to let go slowly..n i dont care anymore!

joleen is joleen!i love myself!

my vj frans are a bunch of weirdos lyk to ask questions especially if i am attached or not?do i look like those who will get attached?haha..yah i do hope so but my prince charming has not appeared yet..haha..why u pple keep on asking? dont ask already kaex?i understand till i am numb already!and i am going to be numb going to turn cold!

yah it will be hard to move this partially frozen mountain!any brave soul can attempt to melt her!but let me warn you!she pricks when she is frozen..it is not going to be easy when she really turn into an iceberg..yah..very soon i guess..it is really not going to be easy..and once she is frozen ahe is going to be hard!yah 'heartless'!dont try to mess with her yeah!

hope?
i wish joleen will not be turning COLD!

tanNED BLAckenED suN-KisseD babe!

haha..tink this title sds gd yeah?

sunkissed babe!haha..sounds good yea?

yah mes so tanned after me resort trip!and today i went swimming!haha..after many months!haha..will go more often if i still cannot find a job!haha..
w
not much to blog today actually..and i felt great after penning down my thoughts in my book of secrets!haha..yah i do have such a book!and its only for meself!yah!its a book which i have my 'darkest' secrets!haha..

maybe im not really feeling how i shud be feeling..what i need is time i guess..a bit more time for my wounds to heal..for my injuries to be gone!yah to be gone with e wind!

im longing to be emotionless..learning not to feel..i had no such problems in jc!why when i come to uni ive such shit to handle?mayb its bcoz in uni dere are more pple
who care more who show more who r frank..or was i just a blur sotong yrs ago?

i rather to feelingless..dunno anithing!den i can be jus me!haha

issit it great?lifes was simpler den!sighh..haha

getting tired!and im lking fwd to meeting shanx tingx n charmx!haha..and our neoprints!

sLeePY priNCess!!

yesh!me jus gt meself a new nick name!a sleepy PRINCESS!haha...all e pochahontas e lilo e mulan and stuff..i wanna b a PRINCESS!!ONE TO B PAMPERED and showered wif lotsa love care and concern!

haha

jus gt bk frm perhentian,kota bahru yesterdae morn!and me thot mes gg johore bahru!happily told me mum dat im taking a 10hrs bus ride to johore bahru!cant std myself!'clever'as usual!

haha..slpt on the bus..then i act. sat on a speed boat to cocohut e resort where we stayed for 3 daes 2 nights:)haha..basically jus eat snorkel and relax n bask under the sun!of cox!ive bcm more tanned!haha

went snorkelling!was super scared esp seeing the corals and rocks!guess wad me saw huge turtle,baby shark!nemo!!clown fish!wow!!!but i was super frightened of the sea dat i held on to hanyan's hand lyk no ones business!haha
at night watched em play mahjong..soccer and jus laze ard!haha

rather relaxing!and me bought meself a pink puma cap and a top and a pair of res sandals!haha

okie!relaxing trip..

jeremiah helped me fd a job for the cming wrld bk fair!haha at least cn earn a bit more on top of tuition fees!haa

yeah!gg swimming tmr!!yippee!!

yawnx

yah i jus woke up after napping..yawnxs..n me mum was nagging dat im up to disturb pple while dad n sis r sleeping alr..sighh

suppose to b in sentosa now for my nbs camp but den yann cheng didnt book chalet whatsoever n tadah!we get to come home!the best thing was that the camp ended 5hours earlier!heehee..thanks mel for being so understanding that me dun need to go sentosa again tmr!thanks gal!

gor suddenly appeared out of no where during the last part of today's camp!
sighh..i was dressed sloppily in a red sleeveless top and 37 degress shorts..yucks!i hate dressing lyk this!urghh..!hate wearing shorts except fbt..mb thats y dun realli lyk camps!dun care im jus gg to b myself and wear me fbt during camps from nw on:)

talking about camps makes me want to faint(weilin if u r reading this im alr trying my best to type full alr!)haha..
yah talking about camps!!??!!me have to clear 5 more camps--2 actual and 3 precamps!haha
and the 'best' thing is that they all clash!ok lah..its like one after another!and its really one day after another!i dunno how im going to survive!haha but its a great opp for me to control my diet!haha

great i can be noisy again!but must bao chi xing xiang so that wont leave a bad impression and be called an air head again!but haha they eventually changed their impression on me!which is good!
and danny how can u say that im noisy?im me!haha.

yah!its true that i love attention!yes i agree sometimes that im an attention seeker!maybe its because i am trained since sec 1 to be loud!yah loud!but one has to understand it was because of my unhappy past..shant mention them...that's y i love attention!

when people give me their attention i just feel great..maybe that's y i feel great performing in front of others bah!FUN FUN FUN and ,making frans..pple may tink that im a bimbo!but im not okay?my close frans can vouch for me i hope!

JOLEENS NOT A BIMBO!NOT AN AIRHEAD!

but if you guys think so..ive nothing to say also:(

tmr mes going perhentian..but ive not packed or anything..so slack..will jus pack light and do it last minute when i wake up tmr bah..yawnxs..haha..going to sleep again!

and gor said that ive become more tanned!haha..oopps!i swear that i didnt do anything to get darker except walking under the super hot sun on tue when i went to sentosa with the gals to check out the fright nite's route...

haha..gg to get worse when i come back from me trip..gg to get sun block but from experience whether block or dun block will still be a burnt joleen lah..haha

n yah i become another disney character alr!this time round im not only pocohantas but also lilo!haha im getting all the funny disney characters!am i really this funny looking?so weird!im very conscious of my looks and please i need assurance if all these resemblance are good or not?i hope so!please tell me yes!haha

see the vain side of me emerging again?haha

oh yah went to kbox with sis ytd!and yesh!me and me sis onli super shiok!we sang for 3.5 hours!haha..so shiok!think i can sing celest songs and we had fun singing FIR's songs practically bringing the room down!haha..me is in love with yi shi de mei hao!so nice!and i finally saw tong hua's mtv!so sad but i din cry lah jus shocked over the story..sighh!

sang landy's zu wo shen ri kuai le..yah its so nice..when i was singing this..i thought of the day i spent in hall alone trying to mug and yah..wishing myself shen ri kuai le..so depressing huh?haha.. this is part of the song:

还爱你 带一点恨 还要时间 才能平衡
热恋伤痕 幻灭重生 祝我生日快乐

and this is my favourite song at the moment:

海的思念绵延不绝 终于和天 在地平线交会
爱如果走得够远 应该也会跟幸福相见
承诺常常很像蝴蝶 美丽的飞 盘旋然后不见
但我相信你给我的誓言 就像一定会来的春天
我始终带着你爱的微笑 一路上寻找我遗失的美好
不小心当泪滑过嘴角 就用你握过的手抹掉
再多的风景也从不停靠 只一心寻找我遗失的美好
有的人说不清哪里好 但就是谁都替代不了
在最开始的那一秒 有些事早已经注定要到老
虽然命运爱开玩笑 真心会和真心遇到

i just cant wait to start my singing course again!i love to sing and i have a dream!yesh!i shall call it a dream!a dream to make singing my career!haha..yah see!that is y i call it a dream!its so far fetch ritex?so unattainable ritex!just let me continue dreaming and maybe one day this dream may come true!haha..oh no!joleens is really thinking too much!haha

linnie!if u managed to survive till here..haha..guessed i did a good job for this entry rite?i give myself 3 pats on my shoulders!haha maybe today im in a neutral mood thats y!haha

oh great! me the sleeping princess is sleepy again!oh great!i shall go back to lala land and quickly walk up to pack my stuf tmr morn!yawnxs!so sian only teck seng talking to me on msn..haha..wad a sianx dae..haha..but i get a peaceful time to blog all this!dun complain its too long coz ill only be back on tue!

DUN MISS JOLEEN YEAH!
I BEtta go and sleep and not be crappy anymore else u peeps cannot take it animore!so sorrie!haha this is JOLEEN!!
HAHA

had FUN

haha..slept and forgot abt ytd alr..haha..realli? tink not so..

anw woke up super early this morn so dat i can be at harbour front to meet huishan and mel..went sentosa to check out the fright nitexs route!wow!walked at least 5 km i think!walked n walked n poor mel got injured coz she jumped off the tram before we can even stop her!oh no!

as usual we are so sen dat we managed to find the route in 2.5 hrs!yes!walked dat number of hours!not bad huh!im zai okie!haha

den rushed home to bathe and went to meet charmaine..heh!finally treated her to sakae buffet!me?had sakae buffet in like 4 days!so paiseh same peeps served us..haha

but yet again i dun puke sushi!heehee..yahyah..gd gd!

we went heerens to take neoprints!yupx its the same machine..e $10 machine!so nice as usual!haha w me ard of coz nice lah!n both of us?haha best pic sia!haha
ooppss being bitchy yeah!haha

but e photos were gd k?we had fun editing!and hey!charmaine pinks nice kaex!haha..shall save up and go n take more of em!heehee...

me is sleepy

and im so proud of my mango skirt!my mango shocking pink jacket!my shades and my belt!haha

oh no!mes becoming vainer?haha..no such word i guess!
haha..

sianx dun realli like to go orchard esp e orchard mrt area..its e 2nd/3rd time dat i got approached by wad talent scounters and stuf..haha..todaes one veri funny..char helped me to siam them..haha..

hmm..morale booster number 2/3?haha..no lah..not really a big deal..lots of babes around also

whatever!dont wanna tink of unhappy stuf and am going to sleep now!yawnxs

i really like prints me took with huishan mel and charmaine..haha..shanx tingx n charmx we go take oso k?

haha!
feeling betta today!heh..thanks thanks!

PISSED

yes im pissed!
simply..extremely pissed!jus pissed!dunno jus PISSED!PISSED!PISSED!PISSED!

morning was still fine..
maybe its because he called to arrange to meet ytd( lin i just cannot type full lah!so mafan!)
will try again next time mes not in the mood todae!
so sorrie

yah..as i was saying..yah im pissed coz promises r broken yes made and broken!
wad e hell sorrie for the swearing..but i cnt take it animore!pls dun make empty promises if u dun intend to keep em!
pls i beg u!

he called to arrange to meet up,,yah when i was bt to slp ytd nitex..okie lah..meet up den meet up lor..i dun mind lah..
hey c'mon lor..me intended to meet up w lin n von n esp thot dat it shud b alrite to meet in the evening since u r so insistent to meet!specially brought the cookies..who noes as usual ganna pangse..nt as if im desperate to meet u but u r e one who said so!

mood was lousy upon receiving ya msg..yah was affected n ewas half sianx alr..luckily von n lin were ard else i wld realli jus flare up man!yes!
dis me..ganna pangse is nt gd!
the feeling suxs!yes suxs!

u wan me to make time for u?yah i did!nt dat i didnt make time..i did todae..too bad u missed the chance..yes frans im dis mean...dun incur me wrath!i cn b nasty oso!yes when i wan to be...i dun wanna be the angelic joleen whom one noes..im sorrie..im PISSED IM PISSED REALLI PISSED!!

i had enuf of ur sweet talking.yes i had enuf!stp toking to me bt the crap!
yah!
i hate guys at the moment!including u!i dun care hw much u sae bt gor n mei!
i jus dun care!hope dat i cn jus burst out crying nw!yes nw!teas brimming again!i jus cnt cry nw..parents everyone is at hm..no i cnt..

wad tim sum?wad wanna go out wif mei?a piece of shit!sorrie im swearing again:(i cnt stand it animore!u hafta wait?yah!u haf to wanna ask me out is nt easy u noe!im lyk hw pked!im sorrie!u jus hafta wait n i noe u will jus forget!n yah forgt kor!i dun care!i dun wanna care!im me

i love myself!jus myself!i dun wanna get hurt!im gg to be selfish!joleen is gg to be selfish!its gg to b me n onli me!

u made me upset!u made me despair!u made me bcome sm1 whom i dun even dare to noe!u r the c

PISSED

yes im pissed!
simply..extremely pissed!jus pissed!dunno jus PISSED!PISSED!PISSED!PISSED!

morning was still fine..
maybe its because he called to arrange to meet ytd( lin i just cannot type full lah!so mafan!)
will try again next time mes not in the mood todae!
so sorrie

yah..as i was saying..yah im pissed coz promises r broken yes made and broken!
wad e hell sorrie for the swearing..but i cnt take it animore!pls dun make empty promises if u dun intend to keep em!
pls i beg u!

he called to arrange to meet up,,yah when i was bt to slp ytd nitex..okie lah..meet up den meet up lor..i dun mind lah..
hey c'mon lor..me intended to meet up w lin n von n esp thot dat it shud b alrite to meet in the evening since u r so insistent to meet!specially brought the cookies..who noes as usual ganna pangse..nt as if im desperate to meet u but u r e one who said so!

mood was lousy upon receiving ya msg..yah was affected n ewas half sianx alr..luckily von n lin were ard else i wld realli jus flare up man!yes!
dis me..ganna pangse is nt gd!
the feeling suxs!yes suxs!

u wan me to make time for u?yah i did!nt dat i didnt make time..i did todae..too bad u missed the chance..yes frans im dis mean...dun incur me wrath!i cn b nasty oso!yes when i wan to be...i dun wanna be the angelic joleen whom one noes..im sorrie..im PISSED IM PISSED REALLI PISSED!!

i had enuf of ur sweet talking.yes i had enuf!stp toking to me bt the crap!
yah!
i hate guys at the moment!including u!i dun care hw much u sae bt gor n mei!
i jus dun care!hope dat i cn jus burst out crying nw!yes nw!teas brimming again!i jus cnt cry nw..parents everyone is at hm..no i cnt..

wad tim sum?wad wanna go out wif mei?a piece of shit!sorrie im swearing again:(i cnt stand it animore!u hafta wait?yah!u haf to wanna ask me out is nt easy u noe!im lyk hw pked!im sorrie!u jus hafta wait n i noe u will jus forget!n yah forgt kor!i dun care!i dun wanna care!im me

i love myself!jus myself!i dun wanna get hurt!im gg to be selfish!joleen is gg to be selfish!its gg to b me n onli me!

u made me upset!u made me despair!u made me bcome sm1 whom i dun even dare to noe!u r the culprit!
I HATE YOU!I JUS HATE YOU!!
GET OUT OF MY LIFE WILL YOU!!
N DUN PROMISE WHEN U NOE U CANT KEEP IT!

joleen u r nuts u r a failure..thot u gt over it alr?u didnt did u?u r confused bt ur feelings arent u?even u cnt help urself who can?u r starting to hate to loathe to forgt to ignore..the feeling..u keep denying..but do u mean it?
pple ask u said no..yah confidently...but u realli mean it..u seem excited when u tok bt it..y?when u rceive e msges u r over the moon..y?hw cm?yah he cares..but does he mean it?u r jus a spare tyre joleen!yes!u r theirspare tires!

onli my yanshan my yiting my tkgs charmaine my yvonne my weilin..my zhiyu r my true frans..my soulmates..my everything.dey r always dere for me!

yanshan!i miss toking to you!i need ur listening ears!i wanna cry out loud u noe yanshanx..i cnt!im depressed!onli u noe me well!yes well enuff!

i hate the wrld!i hate my present life..i hate everything..yah i may seem happi on the outside..i try to be!try nt to affect others..coz i dun wanna affect me impression as a cheerful gal..but inside every cheerful gal..joleen cn b veri miserable..im still a fragile person..i do break dn..n esp ever since last yr dis feeling has been grabbing me for a long time..it jus cnt disappear..yah cnt disappear..

god pls gif me sm enlightenment!i need sm!im suffocating!

n rem!promises r realli meant to b kept!