motivated

im more motivated now!at least for the next 2 weeks!haha..y? cox all i nid to do is to pass mon's horrid test n thurs disgusting pres n start w my 206 quiz!yah den it will be over..:)

next fri gonna be fun mtg yanshan though place n time not cfm..but im definitely looking to mtg u babe!!n next sat will be our JCRC treat frm our pres!!yes our 23rd pres whus so super ons hall tt his spirit nv die!!yah so dats next sat!either lunch or dinner!n yes on thw 10th oct!!woohoo mtg another of my best best CT council buddy!!!really looking fwd to these outings w my pals!!so fun!!i mean nt tt we r gg to do some out of the wrld antics or wad but jus a simple lunch/dinner or jus walking ard..tink we r satisfied alr!hmm..hw bt watching a movie?or mb go blading?haha..me dun mind anithing!tink we jus nid a breather bahs
n shanshan!if ya r reading this..hw cm nv see u online?sighh..come online more often lehs..:(
darius is living tmr..night flight..bon voyage dude!!take care
tmrs gg to wear my new top n my heels..gg to my first mac party after passing my childhood yrs..wondering hws a 21st party held at mac will turn out to b like..interesting..shall meet daph before tt n gt prezzie for my kids..
so sad to hear tt my fran broke up w his ger for a few weeks..poor thing..gt jilted by gers?haha..recently hearing alot bt bois gtting ditched by gers..haha..ohh..so sad:( but none of my bix though shall b a busybody..else me may gt embroiled into some unnecessary trouble as well..aiyos betta shut!yah dats the way
jere mentioned him jus now again..pengs..its non-stop reminder..whilst e lead r dormant souls the rest r immersing emselves in fun n laughter..best..dunno n dun wanna sae anithing more..jus let it be bahs
jus submitted my application for an assignment based job..hopefully can gt n oso to hear frm MOE..meanwhile its still job hunting time!

my aim my goal my dreams my aspirations..my hope

it's about discipline

jus realised tt me haven been eating rice n noodles for quite sometime..todays wed n e last timee i did 'savour' rice was last sat tink it was e most 20 grains?n it was e japanese sticky kind..dis is the fifth year into e regime. frm no fried,unhealthy, creamy food to low carbo n fattening ones n now its no carbo..no wonder mes forever feeling slpy n exhausted
was reading darius' blog..all bt him busy preparing for dis fri- his departure day..feeling excited for u boy!a new phase of ur life!hey dude!!find urself a caucasian babe ya?no nid to be 'made in spore' lahs!haha..e the most break bfore u cm bk lahs!since breaking up is a trend now!!haha..oopss..no lahs jus joking yah?
read clarences entries as well..beautiful photos pretty london!n ur room is so nice..looks comfy n homely..one wrd: splendid!! glad u r hafing fun clarence! so darius u mus post photos k?
saw linnies photos as well..n korea is great as well..hey babe!issit ur super powerful cameo r issit really so nice?haha..but frm the pics we cn tell tt u r hafing fun dere!!goodgood my frans r living well..im happy for u peeps!:)
oct 1st is coming n its gonna be childrens dae..tink ill go taka sq to get the nice choco bis for my kids:) today yanyan was feeling tired..poor little ger..sorry for hafing to schedule it today..mes tired too..after 2 rds..appalled by the no. of times me hafta got to renxings place..was tinking if me can skip tmrs since he had finished 8 papers in 2 sessions..in the end jus cant cox gtta revise his compo w him..nvm a few more sessions onli..jus this few more n it will be the last session w him..i guess me will nv gt to meet him again..really feeling good tt his parents r so appreciative but mes jus doing my job as a tutor..mes doing so not cox of treats or wad..gradually i feel tt its my responsiblity to share my limited knowledge w em
his dad told him tt hes tinking of gifing me a treat..i was lyk hmm..its my job n tink aint necessary
these few days haf been flipping thru classified again..hafing been doing so for sometime..yah me nid another job..gtta be financially independent..sentosas new hotel is looking for guest relations officer me feel lyk trying mb ill jus email n ask if they r offering part time..mons deres one frm clinique, mac etc. looking for makeup artistes offering part time oso..wondering if daphs keen if so we cn go try it out!no wonder im so busy no time for this n dat..still rememberes clarence commenting tt mes a workaholic..yah i cant stp..n me cn feel the imapact..jus feel great being able to spend wad i earn..not much though but sometimes mus chong3 myself!yah
tmrs 206 mtg has been cancelled..phew no nid to head back to sch jus for it..glad tt my grp aint lyk 304 else me cfm mati the second time!more time to studi for 306..not suppose to be online now but mes super sian of mugging though me onli mugged for 3 hrs today..din touch the rest of the mod..shall start mugging for 206 next tue after mon's test..wah pengs..
looking fwd to next fri!cox finally gt to meet shan during her smu hols..din see her online often nowadays..sighh..so it will be really glad to meet u my dear:) tings oso!!n of cox charms!i shant haf ani tuition next fri jus to make it free for the meet up!tinking of gg sakae since its been a while weve been dere..or shld we try sth new?tink after this mtg weve to wait till after exams:(
was reading charmaines blog!yah my partner's blog..hmm..hope u r fine yah?lg time nv see n hear frm u alr..hope tt ur IA at exxon aint too tough yah?take care!!
thanks for ur msges..yah guess mes doing well..guess a boring n repetitive life means leading a not too bad life for me bahs
losing e shine?losing the vigour?mb wads essential is a break..a lg lg one..far far away..so far tt e peeps r total strangers..beautiful sea cooling breeze placid waters quiet n natural..a paradise to be spent w one to be treasured the most, one who understands u e best..one who noes wad ya r tinking even if u dun speak..
its 11th n counting..hopefully it will jus stp dere..no more bees n flies..jus gtta haf a butterfly for a vibrant sunflower
slping n its mugging earlier at 5 again..how not to be repetitive?

timecheck:1120 pm wed

dreams do come true

newly crowned singapore idol: hady..jonathan lost..his dream came true

everyone has their little dream..hafing dreams, being able to dream is a dble edge sword..too little?lifes not exciting..too much?one will be clouded by e impracticality..

dun be afraid to dream..be it a career, being w ur perfect lover, a blissful family..jus put ur heart n soul into it..wrk twds it..but reality rules..they do come true but seldom..dun even attempt?uve gt no chance..no guts..all have onli one life if we dont do it now den when?

getting tired frm all these..suxs..cming to terms w alot of things..when situations dun wrk out jus gonna let it be..concentrating on the important foregoing the burden.. the load..jus when the load is lightening more has been added..not falling back i noe its another tunnel a different path..though it was jus dat mani minutes when translated into seconds..dats quite substantial..dats sufficient n wun be asking for more

gods been kind to me n mes believing

the power in me is glowing?flikering?

whens its the end i noe i still have my family

pretty siloso!

wasnt supposed to be at siloso today cox me was intending to stay at home to mug..in the end me relented cox gtta pass the access card to him at harbourfront this morn..true dat it will b weird if i were jus go dere to pass e key n jus cm home..cfm off!n as usual the hall peeps will try to start some unnecessary rumour le..so in the end went sentosa w em..it wasnt too bad afterall though me n my freshies proclaimed tt we r taitais n jus sat in the shade n refused to join in e games..so 3 if us jus crapped n oogled at the babes n hunks..haha..no mani hunks but dere were bikini babes!!haha..dere were onli 5 freshies n lotsa of seniors n mes the onli one frm the side whu went..daph winnie deniece mummy din go..sighh..but at least i was entertained by the freshies..woohoo..of cox entertaining w the presence of my hall queen n her roomie plus another pretty junior n my eye candy n his roomie..haha..furthermore gt my yr 1 hs eyecandies..haha..n yr 2's?hmm..wah so mani..cfm happy!haha..
sadly we were pretty divided into 3 grps: the freshies, the super seniors n the current hs..hmm..a bit bad as i can feel tt the freshies r a bit left out..haha..at least mes mixing w em!quite happy w myself cox through this short gathering, ive gt to noe em betta!yah im enjoying this kinda of feeling n hopefully they r feeling likewise too:) making new frans is always fun for me..its rather easy cox im kaypoh?im chatty?crappy?haha..dun care lahs..mixing wif hot babes n hunks!whu dun wan ritex?haha..oopss!
as ive mentioned before, without fail every gathering someone will haf to mention bt him n me..aiyos headache!since yr one..hmm..can gt a bit tired u noe?but dun care lahs..see hw lg they can last..tahan-ed for 2 yrs plus alr might as well jus let em continue..after lunch we jus sat down at one of the benches n watched the peeps play n the beach-goers den me rushed off at ard 3pm cox of tuition in the end changed my mind n cm home cox mum n sis n dad r all sick..alamak!!sighh..but had one at 8pm..
so dere goes my sunday!urghh..one more week to the killer 306!im gg to die but me cnt let myself to jus die!
ytd was well spent n im always right tt my sis is really my confidant!she understds me so so well jus tt we haf no time dats all!my sis my sis!thanks mei mei!!wanted to shop at far east as well however, we hanged ard bugis for so long tt in the end we shoped dere frm 2 to ard 8 plus including dinner!haha..it was cfm a great shopping trip!bot a pair of ripples for pei our belated bdae gift for her..glad tt she loves it!tsk!!den me gt an exotic belt for 10..damn damn pretty!!will go well in jeans!haha..mei bot stuff too..myuk's pencil case..den went bugis street where we spent the bulk of the time!hmm..saw a veri pretty yellow top but din gt though it was onli 18 cox was lazy to gt a tube to go w it..haha..den was glad tt me bot a princessy top!a long one to go w denim pants!haha..nice!!i like!cox it looks good!meimei bot a halter one frm the same shp n with my ultimate bargaining skills managed to gt em at below 20 each..den mei bot a bag frm maryjane..quite nice as well!haha..so good..its so so nice to shp
we had dinner at ajitai..kuo meimei is the spokesperson of the restaurant..haha..i luf the setting..we shared n the bill cm up to onli 27!superb price great deal!food was so so onli but e ambience was dere!confided in meimei..n she did gif her two cents worth!feeling better after toking to her..she knew wad i want she suggested tt me shld go NIE first since its the most feasible alternative..she knew i hate to force myself to accept EY..she noes me jus too well!thanks meimei for ur sound advices!n yah shldnt care wad others sae..others' comment so lg as i noe wad im doing its good enuff..deres no nid to explain to anione bt my behavior..ive to ans to myself instead!u gtta tk care too yeah?yah we can both wrk twds our penthouse dream!!!haha
told daddy bt my decision..he was veri nice, more understanding den ma..nearly teared cos of his response..hes so supportive..'decide on ur own n tk the path which u tink is easier for u' tt's wad he said..i was super touched cox he din blame me for wasting his money for putting me thru a course which im no no interest in..he din complain abt it..thanks dad!!!im sorry for not decideing properly..mummy was complaining on the other hand n as usual said tt ive wasted their money..yah i agree but daddy stopped her frm nagging..sighh..its my fault for not making a wise choice not mking myself realise wad i really wan earlier..if not..sians..most prob i wld haf ended up in poly doing ma-comm/tourism/hotel mgmt n dis means i wldnt haf met all the frans alr..no ctc..no vj no 02s44..no nbs..of cox no him/em as well..mb tt wld be betta?den me wldnt be affected for the past mths..dat means me wld haf been wrking rite now!alot of changes i wld haf said..mwis more mature i can assure..shes noes n shes veri sure of stuff which i aint..shes definitely strger than me!enjoyed ytd's session thoroughly..im so blessed to haf so a sis! n family..at least im starting to feel tt my future aint tt bleak afterall
its late..i shall wrk hard twds my goal..ive done it once, done it twice n im gg to do it again!!its my life n im gg to steer it fwd heading twds my goals..not gifing up on things n i noe at the back of my mind tt goal will nv be extinguished..its really not the end for me..an imperfect joleen

i will survive eventually

piggish..

feeling tired again..today din accomplish much..suppose to finish chapter 5 of 306..instead was so exhausted tt me slpt for 15hrs n now still feeling the ZZZZ monster coming
ytd's 304's test was sucky!sians study so much but result doesnt show!if onli my hand wasnt itchy to haf changed the ans i cun haf jus passed..urghh
oh yah thanks zhiwei for ur bdae treat at jack's place orchard!!its been a long time since ive eaten at jack's!!n hopefully the swensons dessert was good enuff too!haha..interesting to hear bt ur diving trips n experiences!!so cool!wait till mes free to organise a 02S44 gathering..haha
toking to lin online n she mentioned bt the photos which clarence had uploaded..yah n it really brought back fond memories!those days when we gathered at the delifrance at citylink..so long ago tt the outlet has alr been replaced by the current asian kitchen..our xmas dinners followed by lord of the ring 1,2 n 3!still remembered von waking me up in the middle of the show cox me was so tired tt me jus dozed off!!haha..n best clarence was busy wishing us merry xmas when the clock striked 12!haha.. n the rest were lyk huh?haha..n celebrating darius' bdae last yr was at his hse n we had steamboat!haha..den me n von stayed over n watched a super crap shw w his bro darren..so funnie..those were the times..
clarence glad to haf read tt u r doing fine n busy settling down..n mus tk more pics of france k?UCL mus be so zai n post pics of ur room n sch k?i wanna see!!!haha
n darius!!u too! i wanna see pics of imperial college n oso pics of ur roomie..hopefully hes not gg to be a gay yah!!if not u cn jus arouse him n see wad he does!!!haha..all in all jus haf fun yah?
lin was saeing ive still gt time to consider..yah more of less its true..thanks ger for the little advices!thanksthanks!:)thanks frans for being supportive..the final decision means alot to me..thanksthanks..
mummy nv sae anything..i noe she wun be of much help..all alg since yg shes let us choose our path..when i was in p6 i knew veri well dat me had to excel ive always been in the best class my head is always held high!i mixed w the best peeps in sch..not exactly an elitist cox no matter hw good im im still not e best in class n in sch..jus cn sae im definitely no where below..i knew veri well dat my aim was dunman high..my dream sch cox my cousins were dere n i knew tt if i were to enter tt sch my parents wld be extremely proud of me..in the end i missed my 3 points..i failed:(
i din regret gg TKGS cos its a turing point for me..a change frm a meekly n soft spoken ger to one whu had to constantly speak up in sch..help w the class discipline n basicalli be a busy-body..ill now my pals still remember me as their chairman..haha..ive been lotsa frans even peeps whom i dunno noes of my existence!i was jus so so surprised when my one of my uni frans joy recog me when me dun even rem seeing her in my life in tk!waah..qiang!again i knew my goal..tt is to get into VJC no matter wad..not even TJ cox i hate the uniform..so i made myself study..started lyk half yr before hand n the sch lib becm my home!mugged till dusk bfore me headed home i rem..tink till the librarian noes me..yah n so me gt 4 points enuf for me to enter VJ n stayed..
it was den tt me started to fail my physics so i drpped first time in my life ive failed a subj one cld imagine the impact on me!of cos apart frm tt being the class rep again enabled my jc life to be extremely fulfilling..so much so tt im still in contact w my jc pals!!im jus so happy!my tk my jc frans!i knew uni is the next phase of my life..other than tt it was cloudy..i aint sure wad to studi..i din noe my interest till now..i din!regretting big time..real big time!!was to do amend lorhs?
daddys really getting old..fell sick tink its gastric..hes always speakinbg so little but u noe he does care..i saw him real up close today..pa uve wrked hard..all ur life..so sad to haf seen u aged..i wanna help i wanna contribute can i jus lyk stike a few million n u cn jus stay at home or go travelling n enjoy life w ma?it aint an easy yr for ya i guess..tik this the 3rd time this yr for u to haf fallen ill..u used to be strger..im getting worried:( ma too..both on medication..high blood n cholesterol..sighh
nows shes nagging again..complaining bt us..complaining tt children r a burden..complaining tt one shldnt gt married..the fuss..the illnesses which will follow when ones children grow up..etc. etc. seldom does she paint a good picture bt marriage..at least all tt ive hearf were n r going to be negative ones..:boys no matter hw nice they r they haf an agenda..man when they gt married they will chuck u aside, as bfs dey r good as husband u will see their true self etc. tec. sians..mb i do agree an extent..mb tts y i cn feel the impact on me..tink me sis too..on the other i cn sense her worries tt she wans us to find a bf soon or issit other wise?but all tt shes saeing pt to the former..dunno mb its jus typical mummy whu lyks to complain but its hafing an impact on us i can cfm!!so man or guys to us doent matter..
walked past prada n gucci stall at paragon ytd n thanks zw for reminding me bt my aim of hafing to upgrade myself!hopefully mes eligible enuf to walk in n sae i wan this n that!wah i wan!!den i can bring my mummy alg..n tt pair of diamond crusted heels!!woohoo!!dats damn nice lahs..but..hmm..dats so far away mans!
tmrs gg shopping w sis..going to dress nicely n wear my princessy heels!!tink ill gt blister!haha..but nvm!pretty can alr!haha..pengs cant stand myself oso but its onli when im in nice looking clothes tt will mk my day betta!
ill miss teaching my china kid..he did so so well for his prelims!im jus so proud of him!1st in class n 9th in standard n he gt 73 for eng!2 A* but missed by a mark to another A* for chinese..so proud of him!he will do well i noe..jus 5 more sessions den ive gtta sae byebye..its good in a sense cox me will haf more time n nt travel all the wae to bedok n stuff but..sighh..parting aint sweet..renxing uve gt a bright future ahead of u!a bubbly n brillant kid u r..hope me din bore u to death yeah?will miss the days when u keep calling me lao shi lao shi..thanks for the memeries n experience n i wish u all the best for ur PSLE!u will excel n perform!a high flyer u r..hopefully u will rem me as ur first kou you lao shi..n hopefully im of help to u yah?thanks for everything boy..ill never forgt teaching u:) gtta take care n haf fun when u r bk in china after ur exams..go n eat the food which u missed lyk yang rou tang niu rou mian n ur fav. jiao zi etc..5 more sessions n dats all..
gtta gp slp alr..waking up to mug for 306!sians

may the power be w me..
waiting for the 6th of oct!shans!i miss u!!!cya den!!

being nice doesnt mean it mus be reciprocated.at least its not necessary..

when e tough gets going..

still trying to complete my SSAs for the 10 MCQs auditing test tmr..sighh..super exhausted..jus cm bk frm tuition..
haf been reflecting alot these days..so much so tt i hoped tt i hadnt done so..my past my present my future..past wasnt real fantastic but wasnt tt bad..seriously if i were to mention bt my past im usually beaming w pride!my life as a student as a leader as a fran..nice..mb its cox of innocence n ignorant?din noe hw ive managed to struggled thru uni life to have come so far to the present..till now..jus realised tt me have been gifing tuition for the past 2.5 yrs..so long..roughly ard 8 students?i dun see a future for meself..i dunno wad to do?im perplexed by circumstances..i noe wad i definitely dun wan..but aint certain wad i really wan..if its another yr in moe it means alot..it means commitment to students, foregoing the EY offer, another yr in NTU, a yr later to bring money bk home..sigh...it aint jus as easy as ABC..regretted once which is to tk up accountancy..wun wanna commit the same mistake again..ming boggling..cnt jus apply n see how..it aint so simple.hw i wish i can be lyk some of my pals..the 'see how' attitude or wait n see..jus whack..ive whacked n im feeling the pain n trouble..time is all i nid i guess..mummy aint of help mb tokin to sis may be good..but we r all busy:(
sent clarence, our beloved CT khaki off on mon!our OCS OFFICER..his army frans went too so many!me emma darius zhixian were there n if lins ard she will be dere as well..daph was dere..its sad..i stupidly told clar not to go..so stupid ritex?cox it aint possible..he was strg to sae bye to us..so sad..daph said his granny looked sad..din tear cox i noe dey will be back next june!dey r gg dere for studies..haha..dey will be back:)
read darius' n clar's entries..yah clarence me n von will take care n waut for u darius n zhenhao to be back w us!uve gtta tk good care too!!n darius..u mus tk care as well yah!no stress no stress le..go dere no nid to gif bro tuition..yah..we will miss u guys!mb ill be in the teaching league as well?but of cox u peeps r scholars im not..haha..mb next time we can haf a teachers' gathering n celeb teachers' day tgt?haha..sds so fun ritex?wah so many councilors becming teachers n so mani w scholarships!tink VJ will be damn proud of our batch!!haha..
gtg cox meimei need her lappie..sigh..test n more tests!
its a tough period for me..to come to terms w things, w wrk..but ive to cheng!lyk wad ive been doing for the past years..looking fwd to metg shanx, von n gg out w meimei..i wanna splurge..but i noe i cant..deres an extent to things..
mb if i aint joleen i will feel betta?
at least he rems he cared he msged..thanks alot dude:)
dere r things ill nv forgt things i can nv let go but gt to..things which im regretting..things tt will nv change..things tt will last n continue n...n...

ARTY- FARTY

tmr will be a day w great sorrows..tmrs the 18th n clarence will really be gone..to UK..wah!yah i will b dere to send u off..hmm..gtta travel frm boon lay to changi..haha..wondering if the rest of my/ur scholarly frans will b dere..von will be dere i noe..n of cox darius!darius!urs will be in a week's time:( when it has to come it will come.n i hate it!hate it to the core!!
was toking to yiwen tt day..din noe u have the interest as well..haha..great!good tt our ktv sessions inspired u..the sleazy dynasty place..though the lemon honey doesnt even taste lyk lemon honey(its jus lyk water!!!)the total cost for a 3hrs session for each is jus 8 bucks!!wah..good good..though its all dark n a little stinko cox of the cigar..its cheap n comfy..haha..no wonder its a spot for all those china 'babes' to entertain all the se bei beis!
shall visit HARK's CAFE soon..heard its a cool place..sing not in a kyv 'box' but live on stage with the rest of the patrons as audiences!!wah!!u bet!ive gtta enjoy it..lyk wad mr. felix had said:' u missed being charmed by me!' nearly wanted to puke when i heard this!!haha..ello!!i noe u haf a good voice but pls dun sae such things lehs..sure pengs..okie..tts being self-confi!!good good!i shall learn frm u!!haha..yah gg bk to hark's!!hmm..sds nice singing alg with the live band n stuff..woohoo..perfect!!mb peeps will be 'charmed' by me too!!haha..( u r welcome to go n puke now!!)haha
this weekend suxs...study all the wae gtta rush n mug for 304 test!urghh..cant finish all the readings so ill haf to pick n choose..:P
looking fwd to break?no lahs gtta prep for another 306 test!urghh the killer n im at chapter 3 with partial knowledge..die!im a gonner..no no!!me cnt mus at least pass it!
me n daph went shopping on fri!great we both bot 2 things each!!n i bot an off shoulder black top!daph too a lg sleeved off shoulder..super happy cox ive been eyeing for one..a bit ex though but good material!!okie shall wear to sch next week!mb thurs?haha..happy..wanted to gt the unique shorts but den decided to go for the white covered heels!we spent at least half hr at charles n keith deciding which pair n colour to get!n deres up to 50% disct!!my my my ..my white ones looks so princessy!n im loving it!!great! cn b used for presentation also!heck pple wear black but i dun gif a damn!i wanna b different n wear white!!haha..rebellious huh?but so?haha..i lyk can alr..anw its not as if im presenting for bix comm..yah..im becming more n more lyk him..gosh..wanna go against everything..oopps!n daph bot the bronzey one!!wah my white heels..feel good in it!!n tink i look good at tt height too!!haha
hall mummy saes im playing hard to get..gt mehs..i dun tink so..gers shld haf the chastity..believing tt gers shldnt go after guys..even jolin tsai saes so!!yah i wun go after one even though he has the potential..one may sae its alr the 21st century..but u will be surprised tt my close frans r jus lyk this!we dun live for guys!!haf or dun haf?we cn still live on mans!!tts the TKGS spirit n the CT gers SPIRIT!!we cn survive well n abv even WITHOUT man!!yupps!at least shans von tings r lyk this..its not my style to do this n tt for them..dey cn do things on their own wad..y mus help them?as if they r crippled or sth?ooppss getting mean..but this is wad i feel..hey cmon mans this is not the wae..u listen to em etc..dey wil tk u for granted!of cox deres a limit..help cn onli be rendered if dey r realli in nid..other than dat hey able-bodied guys n if u call urself a man do things on ur own!dun depend on gers!!pengs..luckily my frans r sharing similar views as me..not a weirdo afterall!haha..
deres still hope after chatting w u dat dae..thanks for the compliment..thanks for the reassurances..deres still some light afterall?
todays gonna haf 2 sessions of tuition again..urghh..wanna concuss again..
high on wine!!i mean ICE winE!!mummy nv nag at me when i told her bt the drinking session..jus told me to watch myself next time n be careful tt my drinks wun be spiked..yah i agree..not a strg drinker..wine apprciation..nice!thanks prof lok!!
tmrs mon again..sians..yawning alr n its onli 1033 on a sun morn..can i dun go to sch n be lyk helen?stay at home n mug?den y m i paying sch fees?
daddys so nice helped me w my hostel fees n gv us money to spend:) whee!!! so my shopping spree on fri had been offsetted w tt amt!!n with my tuition fees..haha..still gt extra!!okie..hoping to watch devil wears prada n forbidden city!!hmm..nv been to esplanade to watch a high end musical before..mb im trying to be arty farty n stuff..but i do hope tt ill reach tt social class one day..a high class taitai..a high end wrking woman..teacher?haha..i wanna be my own devil donned in PRADA GUCCI GUESS ARMANI!!..haha..m i daydreaming or wad?

arty-farty? CFMED!!!

when im still sober..

decided to blog now bfore i concuss soon..yah still sober but a bit seh..haha
hall's prof invited the 23rd n 24th JCRC to his hse for dinner..wah..n before anything he started pouring wine into our glasses..initially rejected it cox not feeling well..in the end under pressure n out of curiosity me succumbed to it!!haha..tried beer bfore, had vodka..woohoo..the burning sensation jus deterred me frm touching em
my first contact w vodka was in yr 1 during NBS camp..it was jus a shot of vodka lime..quite nice but concussed..haha..then was sabo-ed to play game during hall bash n gulped down 2 mugs of beer in lyk seconds...3rd? last yr's DnD..some new flavours of vodka..suxs!eeeks..abstained frm then..haha
tonight it was a night specially 'dedicated' to wine..told myself me cnt but jus cld stp myself frm lifting the wine glass for more..tried at least 5 diff types!wow!!impressive!all expensive ones..started w the lowest alcohol content at 13%?proceeded to 20%..a bit sourish..eeks..den cm the 40%!!wah!!dats good!fermented madarin wine!!woohoo!but the best is always saved for the last!!we had ICE WINE!!10%!!wah!!so nice!!nv tried such good stuff before!!
drowning myself in wine n more wine..me n weiching were enjoying ourselves but she definitely took more than me..haha..mes not her match!shes zai mans!!
jus felt lyk drinking..it was great though i noe i din enjoy the taste..my throat my stomach were on fire..long time din haf this feeling alr..now a little giddy..haha..tink me cnt afford to go club or pub else sure chui!haha..nice nice!!
mb shld haf more of this kinda of sessions!den i can built it up!haha..drink n forget bt the problems the work etc. sians..mb tts y adults when they enter the corp wrld luf drinking..yah..he dao lan zui den no worries le!haha
okie..gtta go mug..mes gg to shp tmr..hopefully no hangover!
sorrie ma..me broke my promise again n again..u will kill me i noe if i were to tell u i drank..hopefully u will gt well soon..feel sad when u keep mentioning bt death..oh no!it seems as if gors premonitions n all those entries bt deaths r true..so sad:(
meimei..u r so stressed up..i m too..tts y we always quarrel nowadays..sighh..so sians..luckily 304 proj is over..1 less to do!urghh..tell me how i can earn big bucks so me can buy lotsa stuf?
heard frm daph dat wendy's alr at gucci n prada levis etc..im onli at mango:( sians..progressing to topshop or not even dere yt!!urghh! daphs at least betta!at mango n guess..
haha..high maintenance?nah me dun agree cox i do go bugis to gt cheap stuff..sigh..tink me will nid more yrs to reach her level..haha..but me dun mind cox at this moment me dun nid all these!!so still can wait!urghh..
cant tk panadol w wine in me else cfm die!
may the power be w me!

parting sux!

today went ktv for the 3rd time dis week..my throat is a bit sore now:(
was surprised to see yiwen n marcus but it was great to haf dem ard..or shld i sae the last time ill be seeing us tgt..sadness setting in..guess this feeling is gg to be w me for the next few weeks esp when clarence is flying off followed by darius!our buddie..deserting me n von in sing!!lin!!can u pls cm bk soon?the guys aint cming bk so soon..
as im typing tears welling up..dun realli wish o send u guys off den..4 yrs ago we meet in sch..its so sad to see u peeps go..oh mans..a weakling i m:(
its the franship which we had built over this 4 yrs cming 5..remember spending our xmases tgt..our new yr tgt..our outings..remember our 21 days in laos n bangkok..remembering our ct council days..our days n afternns n evenings spent at the stonetable..so fun..ill remember!
uni is different!its so superficial!everthing is so fake!i dun lyk!i seem to be feeling forever empty!forever alone!i aint enjoying my life!dats y im alwaya looking fwd to all the meetings!yah i mean it!!all my mtgs w yanshan tings charms..with clarence darius lin zhenhao marcus emma von!!!weinee!yah n of cox my forever fan!zhiwei!!the memories r dere i cfm!!now my lifes clouded..aint as carefree..aint as happy as before..lifes sux!everyday its wrk..cant relax..pple cm pple go..
i realli wonder hws life lyk if ive been to smu..mb its more for me?at least ive yanshan at least ive von!at least i aint alone in jalan bahar..i wun be a lost soul in jurong!
its my 3rd yr alr..thot ive gtten used to ll these..but apparently not..i miss my frans..my tk vj frans..sometimes missing turns into depression turns into regret..ill rather not tink bt it..hoping holidays will cm quickly hoping a sem will be over fast!vo next yr we go bangkok tgt k?when u grad we go look for clarence n darius k?when lin grad we go travel again k?
i noe ive to let go somehow..dey cnt be w me forever..i understd..i have to understd!
my term break is cming..shans n vons we mus meet up okie?

i noe if im gg to be alone..i still haf my bachelorette club:)

proud of myself!!cfm!

its a long n tiring day...me n 2 sis went to the HDB hub yah n waited..so long a q..haha..jus cm b frm dere..tking the rejection as an experience..its okie..cox this is cfm not the end of the world n its not gg to be the last..im still positive bt things:) at least ive my pals w me:) thanks for all the well wishes..haha..so tking things esy n back to work haha..hmm..there r 2 upcoming ones..so all the way n look fwd!haha..so now its gg bk to my studies..n mb time to look for a BF?haha..jus kidding:)
suddenli feeling a bit empty..or issit suppose to be a relaxed feeling?hmm dun wanna tink too much..it was an experience which i wld bear in bear!at least i cn tell my child tt ive tried..yah..no major lost wads..
proud dat ive taken the first start..its a little stumble but aint serious enuf to extinguish my passion for it!no no!never!ill still be a KTV princess turning queen!haha..so its KTV rd 3 tmr with councillors..yah the last time w my beloved frans!!:)

when i wake up tmr..its alr a memory..memory to last,stay n keep!

ive nv lufed myself so much before..e spirit within me lives on!:)

drawing nearer..

this is a special entry for joleen! :) good luck for your superstar quest....jiayou jiayou....though i always suan u... but i joking only lah...good luck k!! pursue ur dreams!! :) :) i'll definitely vote many many many times for u....trust me!! a few hundred calls k? juz GET IN!! :D good luck!

if i were to sae i aint afraid of sat..i will be kidding myself..kidding everyone!yes!im excited but im scared as well..wad if i screw it up?can i tk e result?i dunno..haf been telling myself not to pin too much hope n im realli psycho-in myself to tt!yes!nt getting far

i dun wanna disappoint my frans..esp kh n zhiwei..n darius n clarence?dey haf been very encouraging though the formers din hear me k bfore..thanks for the confidence in me..the abv blog entry was posted on kh's blog..veri appreciative n touched by it..thanksthanks..but looks like even ur good fran whus helping u at ur tuition center noes bt it too!whey!!u promised not to sae!n u broke ur promise!!result: vote a million n one time!!haha..no lahs jus kidding..as ive said many a time..i wun be dere its jus a try of luck n ill accept the outcome..yah i chose to put myself to this test n failure means ive room for improvement n of cox failure= ive gtta buck up!failure=disappointing my frans n of cox myself..it will definitely be a blow to me if i din geddit..but ill let fate decide..mb ill jus lock myself away..n move on after a while..to sae tt me aint disappoint tt the ktv session was cancelled mus be lying to myself..i noe i nid tt session but no choice..i do understd:)kh said tt me mus tell myself tt i wan it badly..haha..so wad if i wan it badly?haha..no lahs..for experience for experience n for FUN!!!

feeling lost now..was toking to daphne jus now while carrying out our duties..sharing our thoughts on matters n stuff..felt sweet n the feeling at those instances jus cm bk naturally..so naturally as if the scenes were re-enacted!he din care, he din bother to find out..great hor!2nd yr alr still din noe..

e steamboat is jus crazi..so mani pple..so mani freshies..all crowding around 4 steamboats..haha..nevertheless three cheers for the organisers!haha..not bad not bad..thanks for the effort..was alr hanging ard not noeing wad to do so cm bk to rm earlier..concussed!!

a lie

din noe if tt ans constitute a lie..a little defensive though..i aint sure..when questioned, my reponse was instant..so immediate tt me hadnt imagined..there was silence amgst us..n y mus u ask this qns out of nowhere..smart enuf of u to kkep the situation in ctrl..if it werent partly a lie..tink i wldnt care less when i gtta noe bt it
the topic as usual when we hall peeps gt tgt is bt hall couples or couple-to-be..yah so we gossipping bt whus w whu n whus not...as usual the pageant gers r the hotties!haha..of cox lahs..pageant lehs..n daph was so funnie..she asked me if me had regretted not be active in hall camp when i was yr one else mb i wld be in pageant too..haha..oh come on my dearie roomie!!how possible can it gt?haha..so yah
winnie was saeing guys go for looks..shallow..as for gers gd looking guys r for admiring..as bfs we will feel insecure..yah i agree..but dat doesnt mean any one will do..of cox nt cui kind..felix's stand: gers too pretty oso no good guys will feel insecure..i guess its both ways lahs
had fun during ktv ytd night and it was cheap!11.5 onli!!..though yj had sorethroat n cun realli enjoy himself..so poor thing:) hopefully can recover soon..n congrats yj!jiayou n work twds ur ger!!haha..my uncle my uncle!mus zaizai!
den as usual the topic will eventually lead to me..frm yr 1 till now still toking bt the rumour..aiyos hw back dated can hs n lh gt?haha..n cheeky winnie tried to sd me out as usual..haha..not once but twice..aiyos..so paiseh..pengs
these few days haf been in hall..quite nice i thought..OTOT:)
tonight is my handover night..after AGM i wld haf officially handed over my duties!wah okie mus pass all the files n barangbarang to my successor ltr!!but me mus go bk for tuition first!yah..tinking of skipping my 306 class at 830 tmr..nv do tut n dun tink haf time to do today:( there will be a massive BBQ in hall tmr n im so looking fwd to it mans!!haha..organise by our guy pres DARREn ma!haha..cool!n hoping to see mani seniors ard!haha
den cmes fri!haha..morninng will be KTV again..thanks zhiwei for wanting to acc. me for this last minute arranged session!!thanks alot!!my treat k since u aint singing at all..sobs:( no one sing duet w me!!den ill sure die..cox where gt solo 3 hrs one?haha..but realli appreciative for e offer n i nid it..feeling the jitters..haha..but ill jus enjoy n haf fun no matter the wads the turnout!
so sats burnt!den cm sun!haha..tuition earli in the morn den KTV with clarence von n darius at our usual sleazy KTV place call Dynasty near rocher rd..haha..so its lyk 3 sessions cramped into 1 week!heehee..tink ill head bk to hall after dat or mb ill go home..tink home sds better!!haha..
blessed with many nice pals ard..happiness fills my life i guess apart from the hectic wrkload im facing..all the more i mus treasure the few hrs i haf to enjoy!!
disliking the job scope and realising my calling? shall discover more bt myself..i gtta...being forced to...if not hw?
okie..its back to wrk!!

crafting my life

back in my little room in hall 3..tucked away in a little corner..the afternn sun is shining brightly outside..todays a tiring day..woke up at 430 to rush proh n took a MERceDES cab to hall!dats 18bucks!broke..carrying 3 textbooks n lappie..cnt imagine me slogging my way to the station..carrying so many things!urghh!
slpt late ytd at 1am..was happy though..had been a while since weve chatted online.nice feeling:P mb dats y me slpt better?haha
had proj mtg..cant stand..so long..so long..wanna die alr n tmrs round 2!!urghh..but tmrs diff!cox after dat will b gg KBOX with my usual ktv khakis..this session is long overdue!!haha..so happy!!
hey peeps pls pls dun go ard telling tt me mb joining k?so paiseh..pls pls dun spread animore:P
todays lecture made me dislike wad ill be doing even more..agreeing w wad zhiwei has said tt day..me shld do wad i like..its my life..
though this profession pays while in the long run, i feel tt its not for me..lg hrs..no life..i dun wan!sighh..
von!lets set up a slacker's club!!let us be slackerstars k?haha..we r in our bachalorette club alr!haha..so hw mani clubs r we gg to set up?haha..
gtta stay in hall n return home on fri dis week..tmr night ktv, wed night agm,thurs night help huijing..so tt explains..
betta go gt some slp n wk up to mug again..sigh..i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel:(
sians pimple outbreak!!worried sia..its a good thing tt theres makeup else ill jus stay at home n cry mans!!!

gor said tt my costume is too skimpy!haha..but lin saes its nice!!!haha..thanks linnie!!!



the 4 VJC BABES!!(missing those days..)



okie a pic at fionas 21st party..me n nic were made to play a damn RA game:P

one over another

suppose to go for 2 gatherings today..in the end went to darius' farewell and had to forsake the hall's JCRC retreat at huijings hse..felt a bit bad cox dey rest were there..but wad to do?when mes abt to leave for marine parade dey were bt to leave alr..so no pt cabbing down n go home after tt ritex? hate mking choices..but wad to do?
enjoyed myself though it was jus a short get-to-gether w von clarence darius zhixian n a new found fran!ziyang whus clarence's n darius' fran..haha..hes as crappy as us!!jus felt so relaxed w my frans ard!esp when me n von were chatting non stop n laughing till our stomachs hurt like hell!!!haha..those were the days!!i miss u VON!!!n im missing weilin as well!!!so far in korea!!!hey lin!if u r reading this entry...i wanna tell u dat JOLEENS MISSING WEILIN!!!:):):):)
sighh..headcount for today:5 w/o emma n yiwen n marcus..
in a few weeks time? left w me n von..darius n clarence will be gone too!best lahs our CT council guy khakis all gone!!haha..but dey r dere for a wrld class education!!one gg imperial..another in UCL n zhenhao in US oso!!best..all scholars..feeling so inferior..zhixian UCL MOE scholar oso..isacc...though marcus aint gg overseas.hes a MOE scholar as well!!wah!!!best lorhs..surrounded n drowning in the presence of so mani scholars!!!Wah..aint me a scholar as well?
i mus admit tt mes a mugger since young..studies have always been my No.1..wanted to go dunman high but cun gt in..dats was my dream sch..till i went to TKGS..yah dere me began to flourish!haha..as the class chairman for 4 yrs..those were the days when i was trained to lead to speak up in class.. to organise stuff n be independent..followed my VJ days!i was super glad tt me made it to my dream sch this time rd!!yah VJ made my days! frankly NTU aint my first choice..SMU was!cfmed!!more angmoh..if i were there i wld b in the citycampus alr!
hmm..mb cannot cannot..ill be more vain sia?haha..tinking of gtting a pair of heels!i mean another pair..haha..but its 40?shld i?mb i shall wait n see how..
next weeks gg to stay in sch till fri..
good..tues night ktv!wed night agm..thurs night helping huijing..jus help lorhs..
dun seem to agree on some ideas but mes gg to keep mum..yah jus shut n nothing will happen!hmm..okie..shall shw a few more photos!!!haha









this is my KTV khaki!haha

a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7015/450/1600/incans%20mass%20photo.0.jpg">

this is me w daph in our arabian costumes for our Hall's Dinner and Dance!!!



hmm..this is my solo photo!!







yupps!jus a preview!will post more next time..gg to gif tuition on teachers' day today!!haha