melancholy

din actually wanna come online

its cox me wanna blog..cnt figure some stuff.blogging wun help much, at least its a way to offload wads in my mind

HYPOCRISY

its a wrld of hypocrisy. be it deliberate or not, i m not cut of to be living in this kinda wrld.
jus when i was bt to change my impression of her. she shwed her dark side again..its realli so sickening!yah..blame it all on me..'jus an intern' i guess..i dun give a damn man!
i cnt understd y its so difficult to jus smile n not ignore pple..even a simple wrd lyk 'hello' or 'bye' do not even cost anything!its free!cmon lahs..lyk wad ive mentioned..no EQ no PR skills den y call urself a manager?are we all living behind our own masks?i guess we all do..i dun deny cox i mus agree that i do some time as well. however, i swear dat its lyk less than 5% in my life.
making use of me to wrk when senior was busy..bother to check on me when u nid stuf urgently..trying to sd nice when u nid me..im jus trying to be respectful thus me BOTHERED to smile at u sae bye to u..u tink ill do dat if u werent e mentor? cmon!im not so thick-skin k? noeing roughly wad kinda person u r..me wun be bothered to exert that little negligible energy on u..alas!will this 5 days pass quickly pls!n dats not the end!me hafta wear this mask to gt my report done bfore im done with her!

REPENTANT?

im stressed?but y? cun be!cox no sch, no exams, jus wrk everyday..n im STRESSED?or m i jus simply tired?
its been so long since ive been real rude to my mum..she nagged at the nitty gritties..this time rd over some droplets of water which she accused ive flinged onto the floor!wad the!i cun stand it!i screamed back at her..i cun control!my threshold is usually high..jus let her nag n whether it goes in its another matter.dats one reason y hall is a better place. yet i will miss home.issit cox of her hafing menopuase?or issit me?hafing PMS?i dunno..i noe i was rude.i jus dun wanna sae sorry.being in a rather traditional family its not common to do so..i hate being accused n esp when i feel its jus so ridiculous!wads up w a few droplets of water?alas!its an outburst which wasnt deliberate i guess

melancholy

am i drifting into melancholy? hate to haf this feeling..reaching this stage in life really suxs!deciding my career choice?wondering wads up w everything..suddenly realising the urge that ive to contribute to my family to support my family so dat dad wun be the sole breadwinner.if i were to sae im stressed..my daddy is cfm worse xinfinity!yrs of hard wrk..ive seen him aged alot..i saw his grey hair dat dae..i feel bad. im always proud to let pple noe that im paying for my own hostel fees..my own stuff..i do draw little allowance frm my daddy's salary..dats y mes more or less financially independant.dats one thing but i aint good enuff. deres so much more that ive gtta do.mb this is y i cant wait to earn big bucks!i dunno hw?i hate wrking for pple..i hate the rigid org. structure..i hate it when ive to accept sth cox ive no choice or cox 'i dun mind cox im used to it' this is not wad i wan in life! this wrld is not perfect im aint perfect either..i cnt gt the best of both world.n i noe.

love

watched the channel u shw again..so sweet to haf someone trying hard to fulfill the promise which he had made when he was a kid.the ger acted well..i hate her for trying to break the 'prince' and 'princess' up..the scheming behind it and stuff. luckily the 'prince' is well aware of her ploy..having 2 guys to fight over u..wads the feeling? me tink it will realli be a tough decision to make esp when one is ur childhood prince n another ur childhood playmate whu has been secretly in love w u. tell me hw she shld choose?both r good lookers, one is damn rich n accomplised. e other acted as the support..quietly helping her, a violin genius. tell me hw the story shld end?
i tink she shld live happily ever after w her prince cox prince r meant for princess.yet me noe the other will be devastated..the other haf wasted his time on u..my fran once told me that the guy wun be tinking this way cox she lufs u n tink its worth it. i dunno hw true. if the princess aint gg to be w the prince den it wun be a perfect story alr..well i do expect the former to be the ending.
in life its not so simple i guess.since when will someone b so 'lucky' to haf 2 boys gg gaga over u? fighting over u?guess u wun be happy either.hafing to make a decision which will hurt the other party. mb u wun even wanna k a decision!
its a cliche story but ill still catch it.

my mood is down today.hopfully it will gt better tmr..gg to meet yanshan at 11 for mango sale..hafing a feeling dat its gg be a retail therapy again!haf been buying things every week..wasting money?yah maybe..its retail therapy..tmr still haf to gif tuition..haha..at least some inflow to compensate for my outflow.
shall slp now

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