sweet!

a day after ytd..glad ytds over..

it's so sweet for the hillstreet guys- darren, felix, jeremiah, jingda.zhao, to buy us flowers!nicely decorated with a heartshape card with greetings and pop-up heartshaped stickers!haha...so sweet..its the thought n effort tt count..no wonder daph said dere will be flowers frm 'downstairs'..realli comforted to have received from them!:)

supposed to have slept early as blogged but was quite affected when my called..it was 1035 odd i guess, thot me was save tt he eventually din carry out the plan..but mum called n toked bt the bouquet of flowers..ALAS!she sounded excited..but over in my room i was monotonous..such a headache explaining to her the situation explaining whu he is..aiyos!wad the crap!cld hear her excitment drifting away..n mes sullen..took me till today for things to sink in..but my stand is clear..nothings changed..

daph wasnt in her room then, aint back frm her work..suddenly me felt really lonely!realli despo to talk to a fran..someone!scrolled down the MSN list, he aint longer dere to hear me complain i guess..a pity..wad to do?i mus haf taken him for granted..brought it upon myself..so in the end left a msg for daph..nv reply..so me msged partner!thanks for replying..n i felt betta!thank u!!:)

guilty? yes cfm!dey sae its out of his own accord n deres no nid for me to reciprocate..true oso..i din force him to do anything n my stand has been tt he shld wake up alr!upon seeing the msn nick made me felt worse!mes a bitch lahs!im irritated!cfm disgusted..im really a bitch to be typing all these..urghh!wad can i really do to make him realise?zw said he gtta realise it himself so cnt do much..yah true oso..so mes not gg to gt bothered by it after this entry!so lemme carry on?haha

wad daph make sense but its hard!haha..gt attached! hmm..but how?again its bt 'my stds too high' ,'lower stds', 'dun b too picky',....the list can go on bt me n my stds etc..perfectionist?mb..dats y me von n shan r still single bah..critics?to a lesser extent i guess..but still we r critical..condemning us?yes..jus condemn as u wish!

he asked if hes a potential..alas..guess the hall mus be talking bt it bah..wad to do..since ive thot of asking him to perform ive more or less expected it to come..hopefully dey believe me tt we r really onli frans, not even those kinda clode ones u noe..treasuring the shortlived moments n im satisfied..wad more can i ask of since mes realli living hall less than 8 weeks!yah ill really haf this as part of the memories..him?haha..trying to do some love test huh?no wy m i gg to ans that qns mans!n u peeps cn go on guessing with the male n female lead keeping mum bt anything n everything..

gt quite anxious when the pink handmade flower at my door went 'missing' for a while..dunno y but it felt bad when me realised its gone..so paiseh to have msned jeremiah n ltr daph passed it back to me!mb its cox mes used to seeing them at our doors..dats y..n mb its frm him..dats y?

sighh..tmrs gg ktv when mei!so happy!!yeah!!can sing without restriction!me aint gg to think so much..gonna go to class soon n back to revise my jap for tmr n have a happy hall outing to chinatwn n geylang..hope von will haf fun gg for the first hall outing w us!!:) von enjoy k?

n mei: dun be jealous over the bouquet of flowers k? deres nothing to be sad bt..singlehood rox k? i aint happy over this side.im filled with immense guilt u noe?sighh..dunno hw im gg to face it when im back home tmr..sians..aiyas gg to treat it as a gift frm a fran since its FRAnSHIP DAY!!n i EMPAHSIZE its cox its FRIENDSHIP DAY!

a fun fun ktv session awaits!hugs ger!