iVe faILed aGAin???!!!

alone in rm nw...daph nt ard..had an hrs nap but me onli slpt lyk 2 odd hrs last nitex..hes so nice to help me edit me work..feeling grateful..yes!jus grateful..:) im sorrie...u r another stanley..im realli sorrie...mb its jus that me heart has been pked..both pple n things..i cm afford to make ani space for u..lets jus stay as frans:)

ive failed..ive tried for the past 4 daes..but ive slipped bk again!
was super exhausted......saw him at s4..as usual..mb dis time we felt more..its not dat simple animore..coz i noe more bt him n he noes mine too...cn see that hes trying hard to take things easy...n yes ive promised to lk normal...hope i did it...

huishan if ya ve been reading all dese pls dun tell ani one!!pls dun!!!i trust u dear!u r my closest fran in me og...he dun haf access to me blog onli u haf frm our og...gal!i trust u!!!i noe u wun sae!!

ive failed...

was rather frightenened when i woke up frm me nap..coz i dun switch off the lights when im slping n i paly music..jus nw onli haf table lamp n it was quiet..so quiet..im scared..nwadaes im afraid of being alone...the feeling is sucki...im jus too stressed i guess...yah i m..!!

tingx!guess ya r ritex...when i need him hes nt dere for me..its others who r shwing me the concern..mb dats y.im suppressing myself..tingx..shanx.. n lg time no see--charmx!!i miss those daes!carefree..u gals r nt w me...im lost my dearest frans..dun b in the sn boat as me k..

i hate to cry!i hate to tear..i hate myself im doing this so often these few daes..nv felt so miserable in me life bfore..NEVER i swear!so desperate dat im even feeling super blessed to be sick!jus wanna be sick...den ill b too weak for anithing..i cn dun bother stuf n rot at hm nug at hm..gif tuition..nt b in touch w ani one...jus b w me mummy..though she keeps nagging at me..bt me diet..my short skirts..me safety..but she means well for me...sorrie mum dat im always nt listening n talked bk..ill ctrl myself...i LOVE u MUMMY!!! let me stay by ya side n Be ur guai NUer...PA oso...it hurts to see ya two aging yr after yr...MUM n DAD!!!!dun wan u two to see me lyk dat dats y i always appear as if im coping well n enjoying me life here...

dunno hw mani pkts of tissue ive used tonitex...luckily no ones ard to see me in this ugly state...its nt nice...

zuzu..u will b disappointed if ya see me lyk dis..im too ashamed to be ya zuren!im so sorrie...

feel lyk seeing the sunrise at east coast guess ill b able to do dat on sat...its a symbol of hope for me at the moment..jus dun let me see him..nt hear frm him...let me b away frm all stuf for a while..i needa indulge my self in studying..yes to mug as hard as possible..no interruption..

guess im ill coz of all these happenings n coz insufficient lala time...me falling ill again..best din bring my med to hall...surviving on panadol...my heads feeling heavy..needa rest n wake up ltr to mug...go bathe first mb ill feel betta..

im nt gg to cry or even tear again..nt in the next few daes at least..i cn do it!!!!can i????

oh yah...charmaine..thxs for ya concern but dun tink i cn get over sn...as in..in the near future..tink ive gtta owe u hundreds of taupok!owe u first...thanks for listening to me complain..n complain!!thanks gal!u r a nice fran!!thxs thxs!!!

may god bless all of us n wish ya well!!!