THANK YOU WEILIN

hey weilin!!this entry is FOR YOU!!!

thanks alot for inviting us to ya house dear!!though me was late but it was so sweet of u guys to save food for me:) haha..simply touched yea? n DEY were DELICIOUS babe!!!thanks alot!!

n the entertainment!!!the settlers' board game!!cool!its been a lg lg time since me had sat down to play board games!!haha..hmm..truthfully me was watching more den playing..anyhow!i was sure dat we all enjoyed ourselves jus now didnt we?im so happy to haf met up with u all today!!really!looking forwrd to more gatherings yea?

tinking of gg to the korean rest linnie brought us de other time..the korean rest at chinatown!!we mus go again k?bfore u leave k?yummy korean dishes!!!

tmrs first day of PA..SIAN!i wanna play still!haha

oh yah..thanks clarence for accompanying me to TM jus now..thanks alot!

toking to vonnie on MSN..haha..getting elated over a gal's topic!haha..tink it cld be a little more exaggerated if we were to tok face to face yeah?haha.

hope to cya u all soon!

heys deres a new rest at marina sq..sm level as zara n mango!i wanna try!haha.. n dere r gg to be 2 nice movies to be screened real soon--poseidon n da vinci code!i wanna watch!!!whus free?haha

THANK YOU WEILIN

no more PA shopping PLEASe!

oH NO!it slipped my mind dat im supposed to got pantyhose(stockings)today as well!!aLAs!!wanted to proclaim dat im finally done with the PA shopping but den!!S***!!urghh..cant stand shopping for clothes which i dun like to wear, cant stand gg into those formal wear shops!ill rather spend my $ on my denim skirts!my pretty slippers r jus keep em in the bank!!jus dun lyk to wear lg sleeves..knee length skirts, carry leather bag n painful heels!put on makeup dat makes me look so so fake!!sighh..cant stop complaining how??urghh...

bought myself an off-white handbag for PA jus now..me mel joey alvin n delvin went to town this afternn to shop for PA stuff!at least the guys bought stuff frm G2000 n me n joey gt our bags n joey her clothes!mel? din managed to gt her shirt cox its way to big!was so tired after that..haha..hmm..mb its only me..dey still can go catch a movie whilst mel went for foc main comm dinner!me? a piece of dead meat!!wanna fall asleep alr!im so glad im at home now..concussing soon!timecheck: 1041pm:)

yesterday went KBOX at marina Square..dunno y jus feeling super excited though ive been with them for at least 4 to 5 times?so weird!haha..n yah!i jus realised dat yj n felix r always so punctual..the other times when we were gg from sch dey were also early or at least on time!made me so paiseh!yahyah..as usual i was late!oopps!!ytd was no exception! was at bugis bfore dat n thot i was rather early..hmm..to state the truth..was bt 3 mins off 6pm:P haha..(a bit late only wads)was at cityhall's ctrl n scanned through the crowd..thot dey werent there yet but whu noes dey were standing at the escalators!!!AHHH!!so im the last again!!sighh...ive never seen guys so punctual before!!really never!!so so on time dat im so embarrassed for being late 100% of the time which we've arranged to meet!tink its cox my other guy frans r mostly late n weve to end up waiting for them..so eventually ive grown to assume that all will be late..hmm..ill try my very best n be ON TIME the next round we meet yeah? today also!!mel alvin n delvin were so early..ill definitely make an effort to be on time next time i meet my NTU pals!!stress sia:P haha...

hmm..ytd's KTV was only 3 hrs..haha..mb its bcox of the late timing that i nearly fall aslp twds the end of the session..n it was only 9+pm! yawns..but i did enjoy myself though..din sing much i guess! n next thurs night mes gg wif my sis!!its ladies night so no nid to pay cover charge!yeah..so its wrk den KTV!wah!!n im FEELING GOOD cox one of my freshies gt a PArtyWorld Voucher!free for 4hrs n 10bucks off or sth lidaT!!wow!!!haha..thanks KEVIN!!haha..he said he wun need em n gifing to me!haha..free KTV AT PARTYWRLD!!for a KTV freak lyk me..its jus like WWWWAAAAAHHHH!!!!*beaming with joy*!!:) will organise a session with em again!!mb after our PA bahs or one of the holidays!:)

i dunno if i shuld blog this..mb ive given too many peeps this link that ive realised that dere r stuff which i cant really blog them down..hahs..n dere mb peeps whom i dun noe but r reading all these..nvm..blogging is nv a private thing!CFM!!

2 more days to PA n im gg to spend them by gifing TUITION!haha..yah no choice..its exam period for them so yah..

its really not the end..

im unsure of how i should be feeling now!

tink im elated?or shld i be feeling ultra blessed? tink i was lucky..nearly lose this chance:p nearly failed..but now phew!we will definitely work hard ritex? meimei we mus jiayou!

tmr will be spent either blading at 8am or ktv at 11am! n no matter wad!tmrs gg kbox with felix yongjie n winnie at suntec at 7pm!!sighh..its at night again...gtta compromise:( ill take a cab home after dat..i can imagine myself holding back my fear in the cab taking the lift n into my house..im warned not to be bk late at night..n jus cox i realli wanna go ktv with them that im placing this bet on myself..this is the last..no more! im wondering if i can keep this promise..dunno if deres ctc gathering tmr afternn..

yeah its ktv tmr!!!!!!!!!!!!cant wait to meet them at 6pm!!!!!woohoo!!!!

jewel in the palace

planned to devote part of this entry to 'jewel in the palace'!
ive jus finished most of the episodes..cox still missed by a few..gtta finish em tmr afternn since mes gg to slack at home!!:):)

toking bt jewel...her spirit is definitely so admirable!dere r parts where its filled with sorrow, some with happiness, some with hatred, some filled with sweetness::) changjin's determination, perserverence, innocence, her willingless to sacrifice her life etc really set me thinking! compared to her im nothing!she lyk my idol!tink its a veri successful serial..it made me wanna weep with her, feel with her, hate with her, share her happiness with her..wow!emotional?yah tink maybe:P i lyk the ending..i lyk the ending cox changjin ended up marrying the guy she loves, one whu stood by her whenever she needed someone, someone whu truly understds want she needs, someone whu truly loves her, someone whus willing to sacrifice his top official post jus to start afresh with her..how sweet!

sometimes i do dream..dream of the special someone:P haha..toking bt dreams..was reading darius' blog bt dreams!hey darius, sometimes dreaming is good sia..but dun dream too much yeah?mus gt enuff rest!haha..
(oh no!feel lyk rewatching jewel again!haha)

yeah felix jioing ktv again!hopefully its gg to be this week!thurs?fri?
thurs morn gonna blade!dats if she recovers frm her flu!poor gal fell sick before her last paper which is tmr..sighh..my youngest sis oso..so unfortunate..me musnt fall ill ahs..gtta go slog 24/7 for the next 8 weeks!for PA for $ for my future..it can be considered my stepping stone for now..of cox me hope i can gt sth better!sth which i enjoy doing..sth which is closer to my dream..

im a dreamer..im too imaginative..sometimes its a disadvantage..it can be impractical..but everyone has his dreams..its a fairytale its when u wun gt hurt..its beautiful..even if its a bad one its temporary its fictitious..fallin into lala land..

he asked hws me n him..ive nv thot bt this qns for a lg time..suddenly i dunno hw to ans..yeah..hes busy i guess..hes so far yet those memories simply jus surfaced again..i din wan to..im sorry..its hard to thoroughly forget..im halfway dere..i wun forget..i choose to treasure wad i had..yah to treasure..sighh..i tink its part n parcel of growing up:P no choice lifes hard..im not as fortunate as changjin i guess..n in reality that kinda man wun appear..cfm dun haf!!haha

workaholic?

woohoo..its onli 913am on a sun mon n im alr onlinE!haha..was 'supposed' to log on ytd nitex but was too engrossed with jewel in the palace!haha..jus cnt stop my finger frm pressing the 'next' button after finishing an episode!haha..n ended up glued to the screen for 4.5hrs!haha..eyes hurt sia!gonna finish it by wed?haha

tmrs may 1st!!yah its may alr..oh dear!!nearly half the yr is gone..bleah:P a week more of slacking..im gonna pack my stuff..the notes , the papers the books..headache!!cant wait for my sis to end her exams on wed!den its gonna be blading on thurs morn!!yippee!!half a yr alr..hoping me cn still make it!!den fri haf og outing..still hafta gt a handbag n stockings!sigh..den sat n sun?tuitions lorhs..

toking bt handbag n stuff me n mel went orchard to shp for our pa stuff..was so lucky to haf bought 2 skirts n a blazer frm iora at a disct!dey cost 107 onli!!happie!bought a pair of covered POINTED heels frm charles n keith at 37 n me n me sis had to collect it at suntec:p haha..the best was at metro paragon!spent 145 on 10 loreal products!its lyk hell lahs nv bought so much or shld i sae spent so much on my face bfore!thanks mel for waiting for me yeah?heehee..thanks alot ger!!as i was saeing it was jus wah..from the veri basic facial foam to the full makeup!tink my mkup skills can be enhanced!haha..

mb its cox of influence which has led me to tink dat proper skincare is really important!no more facial foam n dats it..alot of work has to be done to protect the skin especially the face!yah!the face!its a weld where the face is considered everything...yah i guess its all bt the face..i mean its the first thing pple will notice when dey tok to u or see u ritex..its the first impression!but well of cox going deeper..personality attitude manners IQ n EQ count much more!!

gonna WORK for 2 months till 30th june in EY for PA n its makeup everyday!of cox except sat n sun lahs!haha..apart frm this mon to fri 830-530 wrk..tink my sat n sun will be spent on giving tuitions yah so dat means me basically will be super packed for these cming 8 weeks!jus accepted a job offer to gif tuition at dao nan pri sch during weekends again!haha..25 bucks for 1hr n 20mins!!haha..its gonna start on the 22nd july sat..so ct peeps!hopefully our taiwan trip will b during the weekdays:)

so packed so packed!luckily not staying in hall after 4 weeks den cn conc on schooling during the week n wrking during the weekends!wah!my life jus revolves rd wrking!tink gtta gif up one tutee n most prob will be the china boy at bedok..sighh..feeling a bit bad yeah..but shall see how yeah?saving up for lotsa things..taiwan trip w mei next year..grad trip to mb hongkong next yr(no $ to go further..haha)n oso mb to slimming centre?haha..shall see yeah?haha..

im forever dissatisfied with myself w wad i haf with everything..to sae that im a high achiever?i dun tink so..to consider myself as jus an average?im unwilling to..alot of dreams a lot of hopes, a lot of aspirations but yet so little time..suddenly im feeling that ive not enuff time to accomplished wad i wan..veri soon we will be hitting 30,den 40 next will be elderly!!!!oh no!!im going to be so so old!!since young ive been fearful of growing old..yah im afraid..ill rather die young..mb 60?no no..i cant imagine..im scared n the fear is gripping me again!

mb i will b better off mugging so me wun haf this sort of time to tink n relect n frighten myself w the unnecessary..haha..

ltr will be quite exciting i tink..im telling myself to jus go with a calm mind n treat it as a normal n usual affair..a time for me n me sis to enjoy n reminisce those times we had n most importantly to haf fun!haha..den ill be bk for my jewel again!!den tuition at night again!!

haha..its not the end yet as ive gtta prepare my tutees for their exams which can be considered as mine too!!!

hey ctc gang hope to meet up soon yeah?n yanshan too!

it's the first step...

wah!!!
finally im 1.5 days away frm my freedom!!
haha..cant wait..

gg to aunt's hse after thurs paper to visit my little nephew!!!xuanpeng!!haha..so cute
fri is gg be a shpping spree with mel for our pa stuff...blazar suit, bag, shoes, makeup,shirts..wahs gonna cost me a bomb mans!!two bombs?or 3?haha..mes gg cranky!!

currently watching jewel of the palace n im halfway thru the vcds i tink..haha..cant wait to devour them all after thurs..

my PA will be starting soon..sighh..at least me wnt be rotting at home!!dats good:)
3 mths no classes n no nid to mug n do tuts..lalala...:)

next will be camps alr..camps? not so involve dis cming year i guess..jus dere to look for potential eye candies so dat my year 3 days will pass faster?haha..eye candies in nbs bahs..hall unless im super lucky!!haha..wah morphing into a desporado!!haha..no lahs:P

its my first step or shld i sae its our first step?i wish i hope im trying..its the first step to reach the stars or even the moon..i mean my moon!hopefully with faith we can conquer..with faith we can succeed..with faith n hard work..its about hafing faith n skill n luck..hungry for it..never been so hungry bfore!!

counting down to 27th may 1200hr

amused?

yah im jus simply amused..

its been ages since ive received any msges on my friendster. to me, my friendster acct. is jus for shw..today gtta cm online cox me was super tired of studying after numerous days of intense studying with my day starting at 6+am n ending at 11+pm/12am:( of cox napped a little here n there..

came online cox me gtta print my exams paper oso:( alas..sians..esp. when im not done with my revisionS!!tell me hw to be done when im onli able to atart full fledge last week?oh mans..haven started revision for my last paper..which is risk!tink im taking a risk n MUST start tmr else im risking of da-paoing:( no mans!!

my aim: 6Bs for this sem!!

gtting back to my main point..yah as usual checked mail n everything..
was a bit curious when i received 2 friendster notices- one is a new fran request the other? a msg...

yah a msg..a msg frm dunno whu mans!!his name is demian as shown..
im jus so amused, amazed, puzzled by this..i mean comeone can jus view ya profile online n jus try to 'hook' u up? okie..put it in a better way: try to get to know you..i tink its jus so absurd!!yah this is a high tech wrld..a wrld of connectivity etc. it happened last yr bfore i tink..me jus ignored..
as for this? was disgusted dat he typed almost a few length of stuff introducing himself to me..his height n weight..his hobbies, his occupation...

HELLOs!!
i dun remember posting anything asking for an arranged marriage or im not yet a member of SDU! so funny..was reading n thot it was jus so ridiculous!
someone whus 30, from nus biz-ad, wrking in the admin services...da da da..
jus so unbelievable...

first it was in a jap eatery in town
next it was a beng on the steet
a nus, bball guy in the neighbourhood
guys in campuses
poly, army guy at somerset
weirdo on the bus
now?
even online?

wah?freaks sia!can spare me a little?

not gonna respond to his msg..n please dun lemme meet these peeps alr can?

freaking myself to the extreme alr!!
not only cox of my incomplete revisions, my exams, other personal feelings, even this kinda stuff?aiyos!ive better stuff to do mans!!
lately, been exposed to alot of news on children being raped by their own fathers, strangers..women/girls being raped or violated..raped by banglah..even theres a rumour saying dat a gal went jogging alone at night got raped by a banglah wrking in school!alas!wads more?peeping in hall 8! the more i read the more afraid i am!
these made me more determined to NOT stay out when night falls!unless im with my parents..:(

paranoid..living in this kinda of environment is cfm making me go crazy..
even in the day im lyk very wary sia..so wary that i jus feel lyk cooping myself at home..not even wanna step out..yah not even..

the kids, the boys, the guys, the men r jus gtting too despo!
u guys out dere mus be trying hard to defend urselves?
im not directing this to my frans..its a general comment, an observation which iv made..dun ask me how i cant to it..at the same time no point denying also...

my fear for guys is growing..jus feeling so insecure..tink its becox of the reports, the experiences, the encounters, they are all cming back to haunt me!
im retreating into my safety hole..my lifeline..at least i wun gt hurt physically or mentally or emotionally..

its time for bed n its 1238am..38mins past my scheduled slping hrs:)

mb i shld change n call myself cinderalla instead!haha..

tmrs will be another day of intensive mugging!!

jiayou everyone!!
n thanks alot for msging..ya gtta jiayou too!!
rest well and i believe u can do it again!!

goodnight n may god bless all of us:)

STUDY SPREE??!!

was taking some online personlaity tests for the past few minutes..haha..the more i complete they more i gt hooked onto em:P
haha..gt the links frm yiting!wanted to post some of the results here but den dere were some int. errors..so hmm..mb next time?

finally on my mugging regime whereby dere isnt any need to prepare for any more presentations!i swear that this sem is cfm torturous!so many pres till i was so uptight w my last few!alas!!now its finally over n done with n me shant bother bt em anymore!!its time to conc on muggging my texts n notes!!

first paper 18th and the last?27th!
phew!wanna blade, swim, shop, sleep, ktv!!!n more KTV!!

actually haf a no. of stuf to blog but den my mind is telling me to go concuss now!sighh..

nvm jus a short reflection..was on the train ytd..mb its becox of wat i saw which sparked off my current feeling bt this..
i cant sae much, i cnt be direct, jus dunno how to put it blatantly...
but i noe im less cynical, less critical, not all at turned off..instead its making me curious abt how things wrk in life..its somehw different i guess..
ive learnt to accept..dey r my frans and very good ones..i dun wanna lose them jus cox others think otherwise..

timecheck: its 1230am..gtta slp n wake up in 5 hrs' time:P

yawns:)

love transcends all boundaries..yah i mean ALL BOUNDARIES!!

tell me how not to be stressed?

finally left w 2 presentaions to go for next mon!

jus finished with the slides for 205 and the main slides for 112! ahhs!

wanna freak out alr!

next mon gg be the last full day in school!at least i choose to take it this way!n wad a way to end my last dae in sch:( with a written test that ive yet to study!a mktg proj presentation and another presentation in the afternn!!
im definitely looking fwd to the end of mon so i can haf a peaceful time to rush n studying at full fledge for my exams!till now im onli done with 3 chapters of mktg!wad the crap!!my life is screwed!

as i typing this entry, im discussing two presentations with my group mates!!mans!tmr haf 2 tuitions to go now its 12:24 am!!im supposed to be in bed alr!!mus slp soon sia!!

was at the brink of tears again jus now..oh mans!but no!i din cry..thot it was useless and this hell period will be over in 25 more days!but wads the point cos im not even prepared for my papers!! apart frm the urban planning ge.. the rest lyk screwed sia!i dunno wad im doing!!i guess aft the last 2 presentations my life will be better

my body is giving way, my mind too..i dunno..haf been having flu for the past 2 weeks or at least one..kept gg ard with a box of tissues..i also dunno hw..dun wanna see doctor..so stressful to do so mani things..depressed over the unnecessary, worry over the least? or maybe not?i dunno im veri vexed!maybe its jus this period!sighh..

hafing constant migraine which i dunno why and how?veri drained n exhausted..i mus focus dats all i can say...
i guess ive gtta bear with these!all will be over!n i shall pray hard to god that i will be blessed!
pressurized to perform, to do well, to maintain my grades..at least all Bs!

not a good daughter, a substandard sister, not up to standard fran, a poor leader, a lousy person..

maybe lyk wad dey sae..im nothing but jus a bimbo..an airhead..a bitch?

so whus joleen?an empty shell whus jus dere to mug, to chiong projs n presentations..aimless..a worry freak...screwed up n stressed up!!

an eventful day!

yesterday was FUN!

wanna thANK MY NBS FOC BABES N DUDES:

huishan
melissa
joey
kit
edmund
alvin
delvin AND

my SeNIOR CGL:

YONGXIANG

for celebrating w me in SCH!!
we went to our sch's cafe, ALFRESCO..haha..if only we cn go somewhere betta:P hope u peeps din mind the food yeah?and thanks a lot for the NIKE TOTE BAG!!luf it as well!!COX ITS PINK N ITS BIG ENUFF FOR ME TO stuff alot of things!!thanks alot realli!!haha..now suddenly me haf 2 PINK BAGS!thanks realli!!

special thanks to HUISHAN N MELISSA for the $50 MAngo voucher!it was realli unexpected!!u gers realli shudnt haf spent the additional money!!hmm..after exams we shall go shop k??:) AHHH...CANT WAIT

n wanna thank Danny too!thanks for sharing the prezzie though u cun mk it ytd for lunch:) next time treat u when we meet k?ur bdae is cming too:)

went crystal jade with my family at night..felt weird cox i dun haf the habit for dinner..but its alritex once in a while for my family..tink ordered a bit too much but the food was nonetheless great!!hope my family did enjoy it!!tink my 2 sis realli did n dey cun actually indulge themselves in more new-zealand ice-cream!!haha..kudos to em!!

was super weary ytd, did nothing when i finally cm hm aft dinner. slept super early lyk 2310!!wahs!NICE!!wk up to see 9 birthday MESSAGES!!haha..n the earliest was at 2159!wah n his was at 0000h..wah..gt more timely but i was fast fast aslp in ly lala land:)thanks for all whu msged me till now..1121h, 28th MAR

dey r(acc. to time):
1) wanyu
2) stanley
3) kang jian
4) jeremiah
5) yingni!!
6) daphne
7) danny
8) charmaine
9) yongjie
10) melissa!!
11) teck seng
12) weinee!!
13) zhiwei
14) yiting!!!
15) zhixian(surprised!)

as of 2316h...
16) jingxian
17) yanshan
18) edmund
19) felix
20) clarence
21) jonathan
22) ginny

as of 1320h 29th march
23)charmx
24)joyce

and of cox to all my celebrators!!!

thanks dearies!!!

okie..gtta go prep for tmr's presentations!!

feeling happy and felt the warmth:) thanks alot realli!!huggies!!!

(guess wun receive any wishes frm u again..its alritex..cox ive others whu care:)

ThankS 11TH CT coUNCil!!!

heyhey!!

FIRSTLY!!i wanna saY A bIG BIG THANK YOU TO
Vonnie
Lin
clarence
darius
zhenhao
marcus
yiwen AND
Emma!!!

thanks a lot for cming down last fri for the dinner!!hope u peeps enjoy it!it had realli been awhile since we had such a relaxed gathering over dinner!!:) really missed those days! and ya..i love the adidas bag too!!thanks alot!!so PRETTY!!haha
and sorry von n clarence for causing u 2 to run ard to look for it:( i can sae nothing more but thanks!!the most plus another hug k??haha

the movie was not too bad considering that me slept for almost half of it!haha..but 1 thing i cun stand bt it was dat its real noisy lahs!!nearly becm deaf cox of the sound effects mans!n i dun lyk the mask!!so ugly!haha..but the story was good as in at least me gt the pt of the show..still not too bad at least din waste money!sorry was too slpy alr cun help but jus concuss!!n vonnie its alrite to wake me up but yet again so paiseh to jus fall bk to slp again!haha

thanks zhenhao for driving me home and clarence for accompanying bk home:)

this goona be the last to stay out till 4am!!gtting hell frm my mummy..but oh well i truly understand that its becox she cares!yah im 21 and shant and musnt let u worry!!lyk wat ive said all act. will end by 7pm if nt latest 8pm n ill be at home!no more night outings for me:) its alrights lahs..so next time try not to jio me at night or late evening k?else haf limited time to meet:)

im so happy though haf 4 more pres to go!
next weds ge pres is still alritex not so stressful!
im hafing headache over my 20% bix comm final presentation!!haven gtten a superb idea n topic to present on!!gtta settle it by today sia!!
glad that i was dn w a chapter of my mktg!!ya 1 out of 16!!i shall kempate n warm up my mugging engine!!!hope wed will cm quickly so will be left w 2 more pres onli!!urghh..

looking fwd to mon cox gt 2 treats..one in the afternn in sch alfresco with men n huishan(hey melmel!if the rest r free do ask em alg too k?)n my family at night at parkway's crystal jade:)

hmm..decided to forsake one of my tutees cox im super pissed w her for nt doing wad ive asked her to..mb since shes onli p1 she doesnt noe the importance of studying!tink wad made it worse is that her parents cun care much bt her n her sis too!i rather forgo the 130 bucks in exchange for more time to mug and rest then to spend on a kid who always upsets me..sighh..im always gt veri worked up and emotional when i teach younger children..dey dun learn on their own..cant spell..cant read..i pity em but i cnt help much..im not adding value to her n i jus feel so useless for not doing so..im sorrie wensi..
so effectively left w 2 kids the cleverer ones!i mean yah..dey r older n understd wat im teaching:) *beaming*..i shant n isnt capable of being a teacher lahs..haha..todays gonna be the last day of her tuition n im freed!irresponsible u may tink but ill rather that she go find another tutor whu can help her than me!this means that ive more time to study for my cming exams!!mus mk good use of them!!

really cant wait for exams to be over!actually im quite glad dat during this period im home:) though hafta go bk for jcrc internal concensus stuff..i chose not to!cox mon: dinner w family
tue?:my bdae!ellos u tink ill be in hall?no no!!moreover gtta prep fpr weds presentations so no way!!
wed: home too cox mtg vonnie to teach her makeup in town!
thurs will be in hall cox fri has 830 am co. law tut
and den off hall ill be!!!
hahas..felix saes pple enjoy staying in hall cox its in school n its great to relax and stuff and for me its totally the opposite!
yah..always tinking of gg home

oh ya toking bt felix..wanna thank u in advance for agreeing to help wif the deconflict of the internal concensus for gals on tuesday..thanks FELIX!haha..though u dun haf my link but its alrights

alot of peeps do help me alot in hall and in sch:)

wanna thank mel and huishan for being my bestest pals in ntu!!
wanna thank mel for helping me thru this sem!!
wanna thank yj for always helping me to carry things if we happen to go home tgt and esp when mes carrying tons of things and
wanna thank u for listening to my crap!
wanna thank my ntu ktv khakis too!!

hmm..alrights betta go do up the slides for my ge pres!!

imposing my own curfew!

waiting for my hair to dry and oso to pass time so me cn wake her up at 3am..

wah..super tired!!

jus had a 6hrs ktv marathon at clementi's KTV with yj, felix, wy n ls!!haha..quite fun though esp twds the end when all of us jus simply drp dead!all the wae frm 730 to 1am!!hw cn it be not tired ritex!moreover, woke up this morn at 6am to finish my tut for tmrs 830's co. law.

yawns..:(

ktv was alrights though it was long..actually nt too bad lahs..jus dat i cnt mike hog..haha..meimei!i miss k-ing w u!!seriously the magically no. for ktv shld be 4 more than dat?ielse it is really jus sitting dn n listening...nt very worth the $ to pay n sit n listen!dats not k-ing!!n we were saeing that at least the 2 boys were not too bad..of cox felix is zai!choir boy!!yj not too bad lahs..at least can fig out wads hes singing:)

left w 4 pres!finally n ive to complete them asap!n start on my exams!!!alas!freaking out real soon!

gg to mis frm hall except thurs next week cox hafta go for tut on fri!great!!

im imposing a curfew at 7pm for myself..i jus feel so unsafe when im outside when its dark.im paranoid i noe.its really scary esp when i had to mmet a weirdo whu again attempted to ask for my no. on the bus dat dae when i was on my wae home aft shopping w my sis in orchard.ellos tk a look at urself heh!!ask for my no.?im a bitch!!bcming more lyk one sia!!i mean cfm!!but oh pls!!cun be bothered n nearly wanted to jus alight n tk another bus/cab bk home!!get a life and stay clear!!!
i dun gif a damn to strangers!deperados!!!im nt an easy gal whu distributes my no hors!!looks whu u r toking to!!urghh!!

happy dat we had done the ura pres..tink alrights lahs..
tinking of wad lessons to pon alr!!but tink qutie hard cox lyk all pres n mus go!sheesh!!

tmr is the start of my bdae treats..haha..ctc first celeb tgt with emma:)
but the timing has been shifted..ive gtta go off at 10pm cox its simply too unsafe n i dun feel secure to go home a night..scared out of my life mans..hmm..shall leave earli..luckily mels n hs treat r is in the day..phew!!

not that i dun wanna stay in hall..nt dat i dun wan hall peeps to celeb w me..i jus dun wanna be in hall..furthermore..jus fd out dat me as a JCRC cant ret rm n haf to WASTE 200 bucks on the room w/o staying!wad kinda thing is this!!sucks lorhs!waste my money!!!

real slpy now!!

yeah will gt my necklace frm mummy on mum!!heehee..cant wait for my birkies too!

inspired!

jus completed my ge- creative thinking report as well as the writeup for the other ge-urban planning..wondering y in the first place i took up the creative thinking course..nt even creative enuff lorhs..sigh..i jus wanna clear them quick!!haha

feeling great dat i cleared 2 presentations today and ive another one on thurs followed by 2 each for the cming to 2 weeks!faints ive gtta quickly start on my studying for my exams starting on the 18th april..freaking myself again!but the more peaceful life of having a 3 mth break of PA and fun really perk me up yeah!
wanna it to be over soon!!

currently browsing thru this site www.baumhouse.com for a pair of birks..its the in thing now n i wanna own a pair too!haha..me and my frans are gg to order tgt to make up the numbers for free delivery!great..there are so many designs dat im so confused and din noe wad to choose!haha..basically im onli looking at the style as for the colours will be cfm those cheerful bright and attract attention kind!as usual ritex!it is cfm cheaper to gt a pair this way ard 60 to 75 dollars for the slip-ons..though its really cheaper but ive never bot a pair of slippers at such a high price before!ill jus treat it as a gift for myself for my cming bdae..gtting alot of things for myself these days..last thurs i bot a puremilk skirt at 39.9..tmr im gg mango to look out for dat skirt again..or mb i shld but frm mickey industrial ltd instead..needa gt another presentation top!predicting mes gg to be broke real real soon!

cant wait to go ktv with felix, yj,ls and wy this thurs after sch at 630pm!im so so super duper excited to go!jus cnt wait yeah?not as if ive been ktvin w yj and felix but the thot of immersing myself in songs after songs jus make me feel so blessed!im veri happy!everytime when i see pple perform on stage im veri envious..i haf my dream a dream to perform for everyone..to sing for everyone..yah dats a dream..with all the superidol,superstar and school idol competitions gg on..haha..i shall train hard sia!cfm!

hmm..tink i shld slp alr..timecheck 2.15am!haha..tmr no sch n im at home!yeah!gtta finish reading my co law tmr morn and my ura presentation slides bfore gg out tmr!:)

nitex peeps!

freed frm it!

yah i can sae dat im 95% freed frm it!haha..dats good news though..ytd was the last event n FINALLY!woosh!

went shopping w shans ytd n bot a new shirt for presentation and a pmk denim skirt..din wanna gt dat actually but paiseh went in to try on so many..din buy a bit..nvm in nid of skirts oso..

think aft slping feeling much better..tink the exam stress is cming bk again..gtta do so mani things within a weekend..cnt wait for the next 2 weeks to be over den i can jus stay at home n mug dat means missing n poning sch!no choice..haven started at all sia!worried..

trying to org a ktv w yj n felix n some mayfairies den turn out so messy!ughh!time clash n stuff so pek cek!nt really willing to go at nitex though..sians..but wad to do i jio den mus tidy up the mess..:(

haha..good thing is yongxiangs jioin too!remember that senior whu sang veri well?haha..he said ytd dat hes freer aft next fri n jioin to go ktv next next again!yeah!ktv is my ultimate way to destress!:)

after exams im jus gg spend my time slping..

im alritex yeah?thanks for msn-in me ytd..jus the usual breakdown i guess..din reply cox i was alr aslp:)meet up w ya soon...

shanx ting n charmx:if ya r reading..we wun be mtg on 31st mar alr:)
jus meet up after shanx trip in june bahs:)
btw me has rearranged my plans alr..so i guess not much time to meet up real soon..so ill cya after exams in june?
good luck n ill miss u babes!

gg to rush for my 830am lesson nw:) tata

1 DOWN 7 More!

i dun understand why im so motivated these days:) jus feeling veri inspired..by wad?i dunno..i always have a dream since young..a dream to succeed to be well known..i dunno y..haha..

exams r cming in 4 weeks' time n im still doing my presentations!had one this morn, will haf 3 next week and 4 on the following!alas!thats week 13 n all have to fall on my bdae week!wad the hell!haha...but nvm..lyk wad my senior said:'after all the presentations u r onli left with 50% to mug for exams!' thats true in a sense cox nbs focuses alot on projs n presentations..yah..n i tink im pretty lucky to haf exams on 3 core n dey r all open book!so jus gtta read thru the materials, understd n org the data n dere!im in e exam hall! worried bt my creative ge though..cox im not creative at all!alas..!guess gtta try my best to pass that n next sem onli left to clesr 2!den my last sem of my uni life will be so so slack!haha..

jus completed my slides for mon's marketing presentation!2 more to prepare!n im gg to start on the other after blogging:) hardwrking hors!haha..i tink its coz i gtta finish everythg so i can use my weekends to complete another 2 more pres and 2 tuts!n as usual tuitions!dere goes my weekends!haha...

im veri excited as im typing cox tmr after my ge field trip to jurg island im gg to meet up with yanshan!so happy u noe!i cant wait to meet up with her!we r all so busy!n mtg up is jus so difficult unlike the past!heehee..cant wait to be immersed in prchard rd again!and of cox!in orchard means to shp!gtta buy two formal shirts for pres cox currently onli haf 2..sighh..this course cfm 'sucked' away my hard earn $ sia!PA cming and its gonna be worse!cox hafta buy more formal clothes, shoes, bags..alas!wads these mans!

nvm..shant tink so far!tmr gtting my mineral makeup which i ordered w shanx n a few of her frans frm us..haha..so interesting..n guess wad dey onli cost $21.45. hmm..dey r samples lahs dats y cheaper..haha..
one thing bt tmr is that ive to cm bk to hall still for this sems' final event!final year nitex for the seniors..a nite for the final yr seniors to enjoy, eat, gather feel appreciated..tink me wun be able to haf a feel of this nitex next yr as im mving out..feeling a bit sad here i noe..however, eventually me gtta leave wads..so its alritex..

ive decided to save the $ frm hostel fees for my grad trip which i hope to haf one!ive promised my younger sis that ill be accompanying her on an overseas trip to celebrate her 21dt bdae next june!so i mus fulfill it. she wans to go taiwan so i must tk nt of all the places if i go this july!n i really hope ctc will be gg!im so so lking fwd to it!n the best thing is that dere will be no amt deducted frm my PA's allowance!n jus heard that the govt is gifing out ERS this yr to residents whu r 21 frm april onwrds!woohoo!so IM ELIGIBLE!!this is great news sia!spare cash!oh yah i nearly forgt that i had to go for a portfolio shoot this june too!haha..

my og mates r so sweet dat i do feel guilty..esp. twds melissa..oh no..cox i forgt bt her bdae last yr!4th sept n forgt to wish her too!alas!blur me..last yr on my exact day the three of us went to a cafe in our sch- ALFRESCO for lunch n dey bought me a puremilk skirt. i lyk it a lot as im a skirt person..but the thing is that the skirt is so short that i seldom wear:( though its a pair of culottes i dun usually wear it cox its so short that my mummy cant help but comment..considering the reports on gals being raped by banglahs n such i betta be careful..gtting veri paranoid n will nt wanna go out at night..cox im scared to go hm once night falls..my neighbourhood is cfm unsafe with all those malays loitering ard...so scary!so really wun wanna stay out late realli unless no choice..so if i realli had to..u will see me scampering home as soon as i alighted frm the bus!so frightening..so my day ends at 7pm..n i wanna be at home!mb im jus scaring myself too much but i jus cant deny this fact..mb ive been hanging ard w melissa n shes another gal whus uncomfortable w gg home late!so weird i din haf this problem when i was in jc or a yr ago!

was super impressed by my senior that day after our ktv session at 2am..not onli did he drove us home..he even bothered to acc. me to the lift,waited for the lift with me and saw me into it den he went off to send xianhan n delvin home!so thoughtful!3 claps for u!yongxiang!hmm..i cannt stop but emphasize that im extremely impressed!yah i dunno wad other adjs to describe mans!jus so.. IMPres..haha

going back to the topic again..haha..lking fwd to next fri cox by den i will ONLI haf 4 pres left..haha..m i consoling myself?hahas..
next fri 24th march, me n emma will be mtg the councilors for dinner..yah dinner contradictory ritex..i wld prefer lunch actually but gt lect till 430:( so hw?no choice mahs..haha..
and den cmes my bdae week!haha..den after?exams lahs!sians..
mb cox its the 21st bdae dats y suddenly lyk veri happening..so here goes my prog!

24th fri: treat with councilors at changing appetite, marina sq, 7pm
27th mon: lunch- treat with huishan n mel, alfresco(NTU), 1230pm
dinner- treat with family, crysal jade kitchen, parkway parade, 8pm
*28th* tues: sleep at home and mug and prepare for wed's presentation
29th wed: treat with ***( dunno if i can sae or nt so ive decided to *** ur name:)), sizzler, suntec city, 130pm
31st fri: treat w yanshanx,yiting and charamine (tk n vj), waraku jap restaurant, marina sq, 7pm

haha..rather packed sia..i bad thing!all these treats will definitely mk me fat!yucks!so ill haf to noe wad im gg to do bfore them!:p being a gal is so troublesm yeah?haha

hmm..ill end off with my updated(last amended 17th march) wishlist!haha..

1) nike/adidas sports bra(orange?pink?purple?)
2) working bag(brown/black/cream?(white will gt dirted:()
3) nike/adidas/puma going out cum school bag(bright colours:))
4) mango denim short skirt(not too short though:))
5) denim skirt frm mickey industries ltd:)
6) a pair of Birkenstock's slipper(flap kind)
7) working jacket( blazer lk-alike frm osmose?iora?)
8) a personal portfolio(self-sponsored)
9) vouchers for apparels/sports wear/bags/shoes/shirts frm g2000, URS,Zara,mickey industries?
10)digicam!haha..(forgt bt this!saving up for this!)

thanks MUMMY!

i wanna thank my MUMMY!yah my REAL MUMMY!(haha..haf two other fake mums in sch so mus dble specify!)mummy bot me a 21st bdae silver necklace!haha..SURPRISE SURPRISE!haha..me mus admit dat im nt an accessories person..the fuss and everything ..wear em n den mus remove!so troublesm!however, me mus mk it a point to wear it cox its frm my mum!its a necklace w a pendant in the shape of a key!haha.. n with a small 21 on it!pretty!:)

ytd went to my 3rd 21st bade party of the year..dis time rd is my og mate's!shes gorgeous mans..with the tube dress and makeup!haha..saw chris again( the ex ctc who went to tj aft 3 mths..still cnt fig out wads his chinese name!haha)..went w mel, delvin, alvin, xiaohan and our beloved and super-onx senior yongxiang!haha..gg frm sch to loyang aloha was jus so far and crazi lahs!luckily yongxiang drove us dere with a 1.5hr stopover at eastpt for him to meet his fran den we set out to loyang at ard 7pm in his mini van..!quite fun though..his van is quite cool sia!not that kind driven by uncles!trust me!haha..
as usual parties r still parties..entertained ourselves and had fun i guess..i mean hafing been to three wad more can u expect?its the usual buffet den sit ard and maken..tok and den cake cutting..hangard smmore den try to mk our wae home..its gttting a bit dry i feel..
fortunately mes not hafing one else tink ill be bored to death bfore my guests r!

read a few blogs bfore deciding to blog now..tink its my hectic schedule dat disallowed me to meet up n participate in the many gatherings my pals had organised..keep hafin the feeling that im drifting apart frm u peeps..mb dats y im nt included in the group..mb dats y im forgtten sometimes or all the time..mb im tinking to much but i cant help it cox i cnt deny dat im nt affected after reading that entry..mb im putting too much into franships dat are jus nt appreciated..i dunno..its jus so disappointing yeah?tinking for frans all the while has caused me to becm a bit exhausted overtime..sometimes i do hope some of the efforts r reciprocated..mb there were instances..mb when dere were but i din realised..sighh..nvm i shant make a mountain out of a molehill..its undeniably saddening..dats wad i can say bt my current feeling as im typing:)

went ktv after joey's party ytd!again it was yongxiang whu drove us all the way frm aloha to katong shpping complex for a 2 hrs sessions starting frm 12am:)finally gtta sing..only me xiaohan yx n delvin went..it was short but enjoyable i can say given the short session..not too bad at least it satisfied a quarter of my craving?or mb half?nearly fell aslp while singing sia!n xh nv sing at all!aiyos she went to listen to us sing!oh no..in the end the 3 of us paid on her behalf!mb next time if we haf a chance to go sing k with u clarence we pay for urs too!
was really impressed w yx's singing!hes was frm RI n VJ choir n though hes so aimoh-ish hes also conversant in mandarin!mus realli listen to him when he sings!oh mans..heart melts sia!realli nice!we sang duets!he harmonised well too!senior!u r my idol!haha..delvin wasnt bad too his rendition of jay n lee hon wasnt bad either..xh din wanna sing so dat means the 4 to 5 duets me sang all of them!i lyk bei feng chui guo de xia tian my cox was hafing sorethroat so din sing well:)yx n delvin!thanks for the compliment!u two sang well too!haha..its seems dat im eaily impressed by guys whu can sing well and r talented culturally!!cfmed..haha
my love for singing has been nurtured since young i guess.my parents and family r all music freaks..counting the nos. of hokkien cds and mb a few madarin ones bot by my parents will jus mk u wanna puke..nt mentioning me n my younger sis..n my youngest sis is currently in choir!tink shes enjoying it!n i hope thru choir it will mk her more daring n wanna perform more!
tink my confidence picked up aft joining choir in hall 3..its of cox a diff feeling when u sing in a choir and when ktv-in..but tink its more or less a confidence booster in a sense..never thot me can perform on stage..never thot of even acting in hall's production for 2 consecutive yrs..though nt the leading roles im more than satisfied yeah?i lyk the makeover as in the makeup..it will be better if they arent so thick!haha..so happy dat im gg to gt my mineral mkup set which ive ordered frm UK with shans!n cant wait to see u on thurs dear!!
i jus simply cant pen down my current feelings as in mb im jus bk to my old self as in less problems(or issit im jus cnt be bothered animore) mb in this way i can focus more on studies.dats good!i dun mind though..
exams r cming n its a period of immense n intense stress again 5 more weeks to them n 7 more to my freedom!bfore all these ive to conquer all my projects in these 2 weeks!all will end in week 13 n nw we r starting the 11th week!till nw ive comppleted one!one miserable but tedious one!yah...
im seeking inner peace so i cn jus concentrate..problems relating to hall, pple frans can wait..my results cnt be compromised!my aim:AABB for core n hope to gt 2Bs for GE:)
im more or less lking fwd to 23rd/24th, 27th, 29th n 31st of this mth..i dunno if dey will be fun..hopefully..hope it wun be a chore for my frans..n on dat day itself im gg sleep my day away as im so slp deprived!haha!
hoping to go ktv again soon!bfore my exams n bfore all the exam tensions build up..

finally! u got wad i mean:)

finally he gt wad i mean..finally he gt it thru..finally he woke up frm his dreams..
i feel glad for u..yah..we can jus be frans..so treasure this franship yeah?

dunno y i can be so calm as to ok to him for the past half hr at least..mb its cox im sick..so gt no energy to feel worried or anythg...i wanna thank u for bringing this piece of news for me..thanks alot..though ive let u noe for the past yrs i hope this franship will be better off for u:)

go into uni n noe more gals..u will find betta ones whu will reciprocate ur love..im jus nt the one:)

thanks again!

let a lot of peeps down..rejected em too..nt ready is wad i can sae..nt suitable is another reason..jus tink it will be impossible..im nt dat kind whu can gif my heart to anione..jus not so..i dun wish to hurt u if i tink we will end up parting..wads the point? betta be frans den nothing ritex?

im picky?yah i am..mb i tink too highly of myself which i hate to admit..really..joleen's a bitch!cfm!
firstly its bt the height..next its bt the looks..yah im shallow!(hate to admit this too) den its the feeling..till now no one has given me the ease uve provided..yah..trying hard to be less critical..yah..TRYING is the wrd..ill compromise but doubt much..

ive cm to realise that being frans is much easier..hate pple w motives..hate pple whu try so hard to please u jus to make u lyk em..im sorrie..jus CMI!dun try to pls me or mk me happy by asking me if i wan supper if i wan dinner if i wanna go eat this or that..ellos!wrg tactics lahs..lyk wad my freshies wanying n weijuan said dat dae:)jus so wrg!
but no matter wad method..once u r on my franship ladder u r on it!dun nid to try too hard yeah..?frans is a betta option for u..rem: dun wanna hurt u all..but it seems as if u all r hurt when the ans is no..no and no..ive nothing to say other den im sorry..dats insufficient to mend the damage..but i really dun mean it as in wad more can i sae? say: i cant guarantee anythg..we cn be tgt but its at ur own risk? oh mans!dats ultimate bitch mans!joleen's nt lyk this!im not..so u all gtta understand yeah?

now my focus is to gt thru the period n prepare for exams!clear my prof attachment settle my remaining hall camp stuff n duties when e new acad term starts..den out of hall:)

compiled wishlist:
1) nike/adidas sports bra
2) working bag
3) leather wallet
4) nike/adidas/puma going out cum school bag
5) zara denim short skirt
6) denim jacket
7) a personal portfolio
8) (dun mind) vouchers for apparels/sports wear/bags/shoes/shirts frm g2000?

*mummy is gtting a necklace for me!yeah!thanks mum!!*

no time for myself n family..sighh

im so drained jus so drained off energy..so caught up w lots wrk dat i jus wanna break free frm hall frm sch!gg home is jus so stressful!cox going home means weekends meaning i ve to go gif tuitions..6 sessions in 2 days 9hrs..its hell cfm!but ive gt no choice..

time check:7.55pm
gtta meet for nitex cycling briefing for jcrc at 830pm..i tried to nap for at least 45 mins but i cun..i slpt this afternn alr..but i jus cnt gt to slp though im tired..so thot of blogging. tmr will cfm be worse cox e event will end at 5am n ive to be bk hm quite to slp n tuition will start at 11am n end at 6pm..den hafta complete my proj at night else ill sure die..
feeling veri guilty cox din really contribute alot n worse still im the leader..alas..wad kind of leader is this?im jus shit lahs!dey r in hall 16 now but cun join em cox of the event..was lost in the discussion ytd..feeling so useless..i must finish my parts by sun morn!cfm!

i dunno if ive regretted wad ive chosen to be wad i m now..as in yah today..i may seem as if im shining in most aspects but i tink i din in terms of fulfilling my duties as a good daughter n a sister. devoting n channelling my time in hall makes me less able to be at home..at means tuition means hotel den off ill be bk in hall again..not dat i dislike hall life after staying for 2 yrs..its jus so many things to do..tink i brought it upon myself..whu asked me to be so involved till im in it!i complain alot..i noe..but other than blogging down ive no time to complain to animore no time to do lotsa things..whenever im bk in my room im chionging tuts..doing projs..if nt u will see me ard the hall fulfilling duties and sometimes socialising 'unnecessarily'. wad kind of life is this? if nt u will find me slping in my room and waking up to mug again..den lessons..tink im jus too packed..

i jus feel lyk switching off my phone and pulling my comp netwrk so dat i can be isolated from everyone except myself n family and friends..
jus gt my CCA results..it wld be a pity if i dun stay but the thot of everything for another year is killing me and the price of cox..i can definitely make better use of them!

one good news for the week:
i gt selected for professional attachment in Ernst and Young dis coming may n july.my good fran in ntu melissa gt in too!so as least gt companion!hope vonnie can gt in too!dear von!hope to cya dere k?

sometimes i wonder if ill be happier wrking den studying..i dunno..

im jus someone who walks ard feelingless..i stone too..most of the time i guess.small happenings may perk me up as n when..mtg up wif close frans n toking to my meimei and mum definitely will be consoling..but i realised all dese cn be done onli if i move home..if i move back ill haf a yr to do so..if nt?its a zero chance..no chance of me doing this cox once i enter the wrk force dats it..worse..

blogging heals the soul lyk wad i had mentioned bfore..on the other hand blogging makes pple ponder, wonder...affects the emotions of readers..im sorry if reading mine has inflicted pain in u..has caused unncessary troubles for you, has caused u worries..ill be a responsible blogger..which means ive to filter my thots and wadever i will blog amts to wad i can blog which means to a certain extent i cnt blog some stuff..ive lost my freedom to express my true emotions even w this last mean...

gtg n sit in the lorry/car to watch the peeps bike!i cld jus use the time to slp n do wrk..its jus another 'social gathering' which im responsible for

one more item:A GOING OUT CUM SCHOOL BAG

back in hall

this week seems lyk mes gg to travel bk n forth bet sch n home...
gg hm on thurs again for a religious dinner at bedok
n fri will be a nite when im supposed to waste time!!alas!really waste my time mans..sit in car or lorry to watch the rest cycle..its the nite cycling for hall threeians..sians..next dae will haf 3 tuitions again..mus pia my 205 tut tmr aft ge..else cfm madi!n projs n projs!wad the...oopps!haha

waiting for my senior to call me to call me for an intervv..its a bo liao waste time again thingy..im jus gg to concuss if she doesnt call bfore i finish this entry..830 class tmr lorhs..so slpy!alas!

okie tink im jus gg to slp now!
thot of a new item..

I WAN A ZARA DENIM SKIRT!!

ponned again

yah..todays the first day of sch aft my term break..but instead of gg for the 830 to 1230 classes..im stuck in my room trying to revise my wrk for the test at 3pm ltr!urghh..supposed to be holidays last week when i could finally rest play n mug!however, due to my hall pdtion i had rehearsals everyday till late n nw im so so glad that its finally OVER!!haha..
oh ya wanna thank my family, vonnoe, clarence n darius for cming to watch..n of cox charmaine and gf:) thanks alot!its not veri nice i agree n sorry for making u peeps cm dn especially..nvm me will treat treat k?haha

jus completed my company law essay n gtta go revise my risk management asap!
had jcrc mtg ytd..dats y no no time to finish!!haha..the thot of gg home after the test jus perks me up!!yeah!tmr's free day but gtta go bk n gif tuition n be bk w my normal routine!yippe!the sleep earli mugger's routine!!

super excited for the taiwan trip with ct peeps..mentioned to me mummy but she din object..hey hey if my sis wanna go can she cm alg?tinking of bringin her alg lehs:)heehee..n i really hope this will nt be another jus mention n forgt holiday..

oh yah gtta check out if i gt the placement in ernst n young..if i m den ill be extra happy n nt worry bt nt gtting a pa!!

looking foreward to march cox my bdae will be cming..nt becos im gg to be 21..urghh..old alr!!but its cox me will be mtg with my frans again!!yeah!!

oh yah jus to update after gtting feedbk frm vonnie n clarence..no more kenny rogers for councillors k? we will be gg to changing appetite at marina square..im proposing 24th march which is a fri..dinner..if ani of ya cnt can let me noe earlier?cox if gg to be ltr den it will be very near to our exams alr:(

as for shanx tingx n charms..hw hw?26th march or ltr?or our usual after bdae celebration in june?haha..dat will be lylk damn late!haha

hmm..charmaine..wad bt u?27th march?tuesday?me haf no sch on that day..mb lunch or sth?heehee provided u haf no classes...

so happy dat my beloved sis will be contributing to the cost of my personal portfolio!yeah!!thanks babe n we ll decide where to go k?

okie..so here goes my updated version of my wishlist

1) a working bag for my PA
2) a leather wallet
3) an adidas/nike sports bra
4) a pair of shades
5) a personal portfolio
6) a denim jacket..
.....

alritex..betta go back to wrk else ltr so die!!

my first formal interview..

still dun seem to noe why i cnt view the updated version of my blog frm my hall's comp..sighh..nvm so lg as u peeps can view den im alright:)

now slacking in hall suppose to haf sp rehearsal but dunno why director nv call..so ill jus slp aft i finish dis entry den wk up n mug..

yah jus had my first formal PROFESSIONAL ATTACHMENT at ernst n yg..wah luckily my mummy sponsored my cab fare down to faffles place if ill haf to dig frm my own pocket..was e arly n i thot ill be late..dey lady cindy was friendly n that calmed me down alot..n guess wad we began chatting lyk lg lost frans..haha..tink its jus me lahs so chatty..haha..n the finalist for superhost..zhen tao is in ey's audit too!haha..n she told me hes cute!haha
oh man..phew its over..haha..den cm bk to hall w yj aft his dinner at jp..haha..gd gd gt pple help me carry my barang barang!

ytd had 4 sessions of tuition w one ending at 1130pm..haha..yah i wasnt kidding..
wad made me so happy was dat me n tingx n charmx n shans met!so seldom cn we all meet!had been spending a lot these few days..or for the past week..3 tops n a pair of shoes!heehee..wow

n yes ive thot of the places to treat my buddies..do let me noe if ya peeps object k?
n ive come up with 3 items on my bdae wish list..haha..
tmr onwrds will be rehearsals rehearsals n more rehearsals n ive gtta study for tests n chiong reports n projS!alas!
okie..shall quickly nap nap nw..
heehee..eating my healthy apple chips nw:) whee:)

shans tings charms: waraku restaurant
lin von clarence darius zhenhao emma:kenny rogers
charmaine:sizzler
family:crystal jade

wishlist in the making..haha..hmm..in case u all dun noe..haha..me prefer bright colours:)
1) formal working bag
2) nice leather wallet
3) an adidas/nike sports bra(orange,pink,purple)
4)?
5)?
6)?
the list shall be updated!:)

pissed with blogspot!

dun understd y i jus cnt publish wadever ive blog 2 days ago!hopefully thid can gt thru mans!

haha..as im typing im lking at my orange finger nails!haha..its as if ive used the highlighter as a nail polish..haha
its a colour which mel gave it to me for vdae gift!haha..nice colour n im wrking twds gtting a funky colour specs!haha

lking forwrd to sat so dat me cn go hm slp mug at least a chap for my quiz and den go bugis w sis n my hall uncle- yongjie den we will head twds daphnes bdae party!den quckly cm bk..wads needa clear tuts, projests and study for 205 quix mans..AND my hall's play is jus next fri n sat!after this ill really be a bit freer!heehee..den exams will be cming alr!yeah!

i gt into earnst n yg's interview..hopefully me cn make it and i wish i can gt the one at citibank oso!however, too much a choice will mk deciding difficult!urgghh..but tink ill be hard to gt in..

tmr is 830 lesson again..yawns betta slp early..yah..n yes!gtta see tingx n shans on sun!:)whee..gtta slp soon:)

i luf 14th feb 06

i really luf ytd!cox i was so slack!
haha..dun gt the wrg idea!im din go out on ani hot dates..i jus simply slacked in my condo like hostel!haha..no sch todae for me..so slack so slack..

todaes wed..haha..i was done wif the last event for my portfolio!!heehee..feeling super good!yeah!now jus gtta support the rest onli..dat means im more or less freed!
haha..the thot of mving bk home is great but i tink ill miss some pple here!

was reading clarence's, linnie's, vonnie's and darius' blogs..mostly bt 21st bdae..so me shant continue the trend!
went to our 'beloved' laos partner-clarence bdae on sun..not too bad as dere werent lotsa pple..it was comfortable jus sitting ard n tok eat and entertain myself..tink it had been a lg time since my weekends r always spent clearing my tuiton sessions n rushing bk to sch for rehearsals n mtgs at night..felt really great dat sun!

THANKS CLARENCE!!HAPPY 21ST BDAE IN ADVANCE!!(betta blog dn..else if i din msg u on the 17th..will b in the same fate as vonnie..haha)

this sets me tinking of my bdae..haha..darius its alritex..mes nt tking it to heart..i really gtta confess i cnt really rem frans' bdaes...till nw me still dunno a few..im sorrie dearies!

as im typing this entry..ive cfmed nt to haf a party..cnt seem to find a place to hold n if im gg to haf one..too mani pple lahs..dun wan to keep jumping ard and entertain..veri tiring..tink ill jus settle on treating grps of frans....haha..of cox those closer ones onli..
grp 1) shanx tingx n charmx
grp 2) von lin clar darius zhenhao emma?(provided he comes)
3) mel n huishan
4) charmaine aka chikini
and of cox my FAMILY!

so heyhey!start tinking of where u peeps prefer n ill start tinking of my wishlist!haha
(hmm..ive places in mind alr!)

ytd was vdae..franship dae i feel..suppose to go out w my beloved sis but in e end she went of w her bf..feeling happy dat she finally gt attached w smone she lyks..finally..meimei..tears no more k?dis time rd u won me!yah..finally we aint on par!finally u r ahead of me!im glad n hope dat u relationship will blossom gal!jie will be strger:) ill support u..

feeling guilty cox he still bot me flower n a gift though i rejected his date..im sorrie..i jus cnt bring myself to go out with u..go find a better gal whu will reciprocate ur care n concern..im jus so sorry..sighh..every vdae mus haf sth funny happen..aiyos..haha

tink its time for me to go..wats the pt of holding on when pple dun appreciate u..u r jus a small fry..nt taken seriously..tink ill live better in my own wrld..w my own franss..yah its set that ill leave..ill jus go..ill go..

HAPPY LUNAR NEW YEAR!

ill keep this entry short and sweet since i needa go off n head for home in 5 mins time!haha..

it had been a horrendous week for me..with all the shit and stuff.and wad made it worse was that i cun conc on my role..jus cun haf the feel of being enthu in my role..or shld i sae that particular part of the scene..alas..broke down n stress is partly the reason..

i noe alot of frans are veri concern!thanks alot!thanks for shwing, asking n leaving msges for me!thanks alot..i believe its another phase that ive to cm to terms with..yah..

okie..enuff of the sad n sobby stuff..jus wanna rest during the new yr n hols n mug n do proj!yeah!

hey happy new yr to one n all..
luf ya frans!

smiley face?so cute!!

hey charmaine!
so sorrie to make u come all the way to my room just to wake me up for dinner just now..feel so bad esp when u r in crutches:( so sorrie..luckily deres lift..but still i noe its really hard for u..

wanna say a big big THANK YOU for the gift!its so cute!haha..its a smiley face!n i tink it really great to haf it as it reminds me to smile more!thanks yeah!hope u will smile too!

today he was in sch again..i was on my way to meet mek n kah hon during lunch..saw him n wanted to jus pretend i din see n tried to walk speedily away..failed he called out for me once..i jus pretended i din hear..den he called out again dis time trying to stop me frm the back..no choice we chatted..her girl was jus standing behind..n the freshie whom we dun realli lyk was dere..no choice had to put on a good show..n dere my acting skills cm in useful!haha..aft a few exchanges me siam asap!

'u wan me to go meh?'
'yes!i wan you to go!'
dats wad i said n i actually spurted it out this aft..not hafing second thots bt it..
aft tmr..yah

glad that ive nice frans ard..thanks yj, keith, kah hon n charmaine for ur concerns..thanks for the listening ears..n i jus realised dat apart from charmaine im closer to the guys in hall..so weird..so weird..dey seem to noe more than the gals..

im slacking in my room nw..waiting for my hair to dry den concuss!yeah!tmr is free day shall finish my company law tut..memorise my lines..settle my pa..yeah!great..hw slack this week yeah?cny is cming me cn jus slack n slp thru n pia tut!!

always rem to smile:)

oh pls be careful!

tinking of blogging as im still waiting for my files to be downloaded!urghh..dunno y cant open!

thanks zhiyu for ya comment!thanks alot!
im so glad dat ive a fran lyk u!

ytd was mugging and halfway i heard a collison jus outside my block..i looked out of my rooms window..and i din realised they were my hall pple..mb i cun recog the guy whu was facing me..
i was really shocked partner!realli shocked that its you whu gt involved in the accident!
alas..was so stunned..cun help u in anw..im so sorrie..
hmm..pls be careful!u r still young dun jus expose ya life to such risk yeah?so worrying..sighh..

nw im so vexed..dunno which company to choose for my prof attachment this sem..sians..tink ill choose pwc and a bank..citibank?

yawns...sians tink ill try to dl tmr..its still nt done..so pissed!

charmaine!get well soon yeah?pls pls be careful!!

joleen, i hate you..

i cant seem to concentrate on my tut..

warning:frans! this is gg to be another shitty entry..if ya peeps r too sick of wads happening to me..tink ya r dun carry on reading k? i beg u...

a pleasant surprise?i thot it was..NO!i rather not haf that 'surprise'..its not a pleasant one..NO!not at all!the wrd 'substitute'?i truly understd this word..a word which i refused to face..a wrd that hurts lyk hell!a wrd dat is jus so painful..a wrd that cuts deep into me..yah!this is the wrd!

the card he held was for..the waiting was for..

heart sank in again!
not as deep as bfore but bad enuff to trigger the tears..
weak?yah i am..

n all the suanings i gt in hall r not helping..yah..i laughed it off..yah..but do u peeps noe somethings r nt funny at all?not at all i tell u!simply rubbish..but i cnt lose my cool..nt in front of u..of cox not..dunno hw much u r to me..but jus nt in front of u..i dun mind as lg as u r happy..im alritex yeah?

n my door is definitely shut for u..im so sorry..i apologise..im really sorry..impossible is jus the wrd..im really sorry..i noe saeing sorry will not help but im really sorry..

never hated joleen so much..used to be so proud of her..shes so full of confidence..now shes nt only a piece of shit i tink shes jus worse than dat..i look down on her..i hope she can jus disappear to somewhere no one noes..

mummy..y do i haf to go thru this?
mummy!

nice feeling

today jus passed w/o me really noeing wads happening..
no lessons today..wk up to finish my tut..n was so lking fwd to the ktv session..thay r jus jokers lahs..haha..jus felt veri relaxed when we were tgt..haha..the three of us jus crapped n as usual gt suaned again n again!haha..

cant really fig out y im lyk one of the closer gals to the hillst guys..even the freshies..mb im jus so kaypoh..haha..

its a sweet feeling that im hafing n hope the ktv session was longer..din really sing enuff!haha..as usual!

CNY is coming!yeah..gg to chinatwn w my mum n sis dis sat..haha..next thurs will b gg w hall..haha..interaction time again..

jus had sp rehearsal n is disappointed cox ive memorised the lines but when im supposed to recite em..i actually stumbled..urghh!gtta buck up more sia!yucks!

n charmaine if ya r reading this..ya gtta take care of yaself yeah?dun be too hard on yaself..take it easy..tink betta conc on studying n wrking cn wait till we grad ritex..else u will fall sick very easily ya noe:( lets grad tgt next year okie?so we gtta wrk twrds that!!

okie..tmrs class at 830pm n its gg to be a super lg day..concussing alr..nitexnitex!

theres a limit in wad we can do in Life!

i can only do so much..the rest is really up to you..its both ways..
maybe not..but im still waiting and a miracle may happen..if never?im contented with the current status..yah..am contented..cox yearning for sth impossible is gonna to inflict pain..n its stupid lahs!!(my insulating power)

now sitting comfortably in my new room in the replacement hall..jus finished reading my company law chapters and the rewritten assignment to be handed in next mon!haha..tmr gtta wake up early to pia law tut den off me go ktv with felix and yongjie at clementi's kbox..wanted to go with felix since last yr but in the end cmi, hopefully tmr none will pangse!

my new room is small but comfy lahs..haha..quite cooling at nice!i mean Freezing esp last week when the weather was so super cold!!practically in aircon room..
apart from the longer distance from nbs and the inconveniece of hafing to walk up the nie slope..tink this environment here is better as weve more privacy..my side has only 5 single rooms lahs..haha..quite and serene..not so exposed i tink..

guess wad due the wet weather last week n my 'no grip' slipper i actually slipped n fell on the slope..alas..luckily nt mani peeps at that time yeah?if not ill be too embarrassed to go to sch alr!haha

recently, dunno y suddenly gt quite close to this bunch of tut mates whom me huishan n mel used to be wary of..dey will talk behind our back and some times even dio us?i dunno..but since sch reopens, we do haf lunch tgt..joke n mess ard..sit tgt during lect..haha..n we r known as SHE cox we always appear in threes!haha..so funny!
they r nice peeps lahs..n im happy for mel for being attached again..hey gal!u seem to be in bliss whenever u mention him..tink though hes nt dat gd interms of looks..he indeed has a kind heart..really surprised..u really changed a lot gal..used to be so critical of guys!alas!haha..
and thanks for asking me to gif me a lift back to hall and drive us ard..and kah hon oso..thanks for ya lift dat dae..

haha..its so nice to be ferried ard esp in sch when travelling is lyk..wah!

todays mon and a week from now hell be in holland..yah..hope he'll do fine..aft 6 mths?hope things will change on my part yah..definitely as i wld haf completed my professional attachment..celebrating my 21st bdae..had my photoshoot..taken my yr 2 exams and starting my last year in NTU..!

suddenly everything is gg so fast!last year?i jus remembered vividly the camp i went thru..the NBS camp, the hall camp which i ponned a no. of days..the hall life in year one..the beauty wrld production i went thru..hw i gt to noe my frans..cindy,hanyan..the seniors..qianyi,charmaine..the hillst and ladyhill christmas party we had for the past 2 yrs!oh man n im in the 3rd week of the 2nd sem of year 2!thats fast!so fast!FOC will be coming agin..n this time rd im a 3rd year and ill be able to spot any of my guy frans if they r cming to NBS!haha..very soon ill grad..very soon

im waiting for miracles..mb not..

its slping time!
gd nitex!
haha..tinking of my wish list sia!!haha

moving hall blues..

its quieter than usual..
mayfair hasnt been so quiet before..
suddenly faced w this' peacefulness' is hw scary or shud i sae lonely..
my cute freshies..e chatterboxes..the babes(inclu me?)oopps!r gone..
HAll 3 is gg to be torn down..suddenly deres a sense of melancholy to have to see this bldg cm to an end..
on the other hand..its really exciting to be able to live in a new rm!(nt hte cleaning part!!)
separation frm mf will mean a really serene place to stay..c'mon lahs..hw nt to 'enjoy' such 'comfort' when i have to pay 240 mthly?aiyos!
tonitex is the last nite in this Hall 3..i treasure this moment and the memories which i had here

ytd was marcus' bdae!lemme wish him: HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY MARCUS!!!

gg to slp sn..tmr will be fun cox mtg yanshan but me gtta go gif tuitions first..urghh!haha..

new rm..here i come

new resolution:i wanna be a superstar!

HAPPY NEW YEAR 06!!

its a wet new year today!haha..

me n von din slp ytd n was entertained by darius' brother..darren n his videos..dozed of several times during the shws..haha
in the end we slp for a while n went for mac breakfast at hougang central den bk hm..haha..

me cm bk n was fast aslp frm 1230pm!!haha

hmm..gg to enjoy meself for the next few daes bfore my tuts r gg to start in week two..haha..this week onli lect so me cn play till wed!

gg go blade w sis on wed!heehee..n slack :)

me gt 3 white belts on hand

im gg to be realli busy w 3 tutees n wrk n sch n hall..wah..hw to live..haha..

p.s.:darius thanks for offering ya help..hmm..its okie..at least i noe ive frends ard!thanks!

IN DARIUS" HOUSE!!

heyhey!!

me n von r currently in darius' hse!!
we jus had our usual birthday cum new year celebration!!haha..this time round at his place!!all the way here---at hougang!!haha

me n vonnie were stranded in orchard...n we din even buy his prezzie lahs!haha...den in the end went topman to get him a wallet!haha

N guess wad both of us were both late!!super late!haha..4 hrs late...oopps n we caused everyone to wait for us:(

so sorry peeps!!realli!!ooppss..me n von will be on time the next time k?haha

n im lking fwd to the 8th!!KTV!!
realli hope we will haf fun!!

a new year a new hope..a new heart..n realli hope that me will nt feel sad again...haha..n i realli hope so..hope his departure will mark the end of this crap!!yupps

HAPPY NEW YEAR BABES N DUDES!!!
best wishes...

u aint worth the tears

slept at 4.15am and now im awake at 7.38am..
wanted to sleep more but thot i shuld blog instead..

im tired but i tink if i were to go back i cant slept either..or ill jus oversleep cox i gtta wake up at 830am aniwae to meet mel for subject reg. at 930am

mtg charmaine ltr!hee..finally mtg her and YESH! passing her her prezzie which i bot 1 mth bfore xmas and now its lyk xmas' over...yah..

my room is quiet now only the sds of morning crickets outside...

if only i din wake up and read the msges..if only i din saw him online ytd..it felt so familiar yet so distant..couldnt really reply his msn msges properly as i was chatting with my freshie frm 12 odd to 4 odd..yah..in my room..

im blessed with a lot of things..its only when it comes to this issue dat im lyk
thrown apart..

it was a msg which was super long..had to clear 3 of my xmas greeting msges bfore me could read the entire one..

'whus the boy whu made u cry?'
i couldnt sae hes you..

'you still haven told me whu made ya cry?'
i really cant tell ya hes you..

'hw cn ya not tell me somethings?'
cox ya r simply him..

its been a long time since i last thot of him..was on the bus home the day before when the nostalgia came and was relishing those moments..tears whelmed but i didnt tear..i was strong..i din wan to tear and i thot that u really aint worth the tears..

din noe u went taiwan..im sorry i thot u forgt bt things or to be direct forgt that u haf a mei..yah..im sorry..

lyk i say if ya were to disappear it may be easier for me to gt over things..nw uve made things harder for me again..i mean yeah..things can be changed but not the memories..

i hate to tear but ur msges made me so..jus so..i haf weakened..retreated frm my battle..but im nt withdrawing..yah great that u r gg off for an exchange..dat will be a piece off my mind..im not sure..mayb u will cm bk will more gals or shld i sae new gals..im caring less..

suddenly fel lyk slping again..its okie that u din gt to wish me merry xmas..i had a lonely xmas eve walking dn orchard rd...its alrite u cnt meet me bfore u leave..i tink its better that we dun meet..its alrite that u dunno whus the boy..its no big deal..its okie that u dont noe hw things r on my side..i dun blame you..its alrite not to bring bk anw presents..cox u never did..its okie that u r busy w lotsa stuff..its typical you...its okie that u dun fulfill wad ya promise..cox u seldom did..

ive survived the last few mths and im sure i cn win the battle in the months to come..'promise ya to work hard and be good?'..of cox ill do that but thats nt a promise to you..its wad i as my parents' daughter must do..n its wad im suppose and will do..

i will not promise ya anything cox i...

nvm..running out of thoughts..but i noe this msg is for me to keep for the mths to cm..its one which will bring bk the memories..the sadness..his happiness..his words..his wishes..mb i shld jus delete..mb not..mb delte ltr?i dunno..

enuff..im gg to nap for another 15 mins mans..tired alr..

where r u xmas?

im now slacking un my room..falling asleep soon..so i gtta quickly blog wadever is on my mind!haha

these 3 days have been rather fulfilling i tink..actually i cant actually recall what happened on mon..orhh!i remember!had hall's xmas party on mon's nitex..den ytd was..hmm..(pausing to tink hard again
orhh..had rehearsal for my hall's special project..at least dey saed i improved on my bitchy self!haha..dunno whether dats gd news or bad!haha
den supported takraw n we won!next was caroling at jurong pt n off to CTC chalet at pasir ris park!!haha..thanks CLARENCE!!thanks alot for booking the place yeah!!so sorrie cnt join u peeps on the first day however felt veri relaxed when i was dere as in back with familiar pple n with frans whom ive known for 4 years?wow!dats lyk hw fast ritex?heehee
rushed back to sch for carom umpiring den off to JP to carol again..great!we r left with 2 days of caroling 3 places n dats the end for this year's caroling session!heehee..hw nice!

wasd toking to von on the train back to school..its been so long so long since weve met and toked..hw nice if we cn meet up more often yeah?

xmas is here but i dun realli feel the mood!where r u xmas?

these few days gonna be lyk feasting so me gtta be careful of wad im ordering..one meal per day..starting tmr!!
tmr's mtg shanx, tingx n charms..hope we cn gt seats at swensens..den fri shld be gg for xmas party den sat mtg w ctc at sizzler n next week mtg w charmaine still tinking of where we shld go..n heys ur prezzie is rotting alr lahs!!haha..all these feasting will cfm make me grow fatter!urghh!no no no!!

MY FOREVER DIET PLAN!!!
haha..kkie tmr gtta wk up early again n its gonna be an exciting weekend ahead!heehee
COOL!!
haf fun n MERRY MERRY XMAS DEAR ALL!!

mes a 'bitch'

mes a bitch mes a bitch..a bitch a bitch and a bitch...

this is wad i mus haf in mind frm nw till the feb 24 n 25!
yah!mus act as a highclass snobbish rich educated curt BITCH!!

really tough man!
n im really feeling the stress!the stress!the lines n the expressions actions..wah!!
a bitch is no joke..really hafta put in a lot of effort n..yah let go!let go..thrw face!no face!
but yah ive restrictions..i tink im no aftall nt a bitch..i tink..i mean if ya tink otherwise u cn let me noe..

a bitch..alas..i will hafta chant n chant so dat it will be ingrainrd into me!!

I AM A BITCH!!

in hall again!

yah dis is the 2nd consecutive sat which im in hall!
todae is sheares hall exchange..last was Past n present..N next week will be another cox fri gt the co.'s DnD..wah!hw 'nice' ritex?

alas..wanna blog this down 'chopchop'

will be super busy dis cming n next week w caroling n hall..so cnt really go out..n CT chalet is cming..die me jus cnt fig out hw to shuffle here n dere...n i foresee myself dying..alas..tink i cnt make it..sianx...gt carrom to umpire in the day for 3 days n nitexS?carol!alas!hw hw??die die..

urghh n den frm the 23rd?

MOVE hall!aiyos..all the wae to the 28th..wad the HELL!!!

btw m lking fwd to my highlighted hair..haha

in hall on a sat morn!

yah dis is the 2nd consecutive sat which im in hall!
todae is sheares hall exchange..last was Past n present..N next week will be another cox fri gt the co.'s DnD..wah!hw 'nice' ritex?

alas..wanna blog this down 'chopchop'

will be super busy dis cming n next week w caroling n hall..so cnt really go out..n CT chalet is cming..die me jus cnt fig out hw to shuffle here n dere...n i foresee myself dying..alas..tink i cnt make it..sianx...gt carrom to umpire in the day for 3 days n nitexS?carol!alas!hw hw??die die..

urghh n den frm the 23rd?

MOVE hall!aiyos..all the wae to the 28th..wad the HELL!!!

btw m lking fwd to my highlighted hair..haha

left w no choice!

no wonder people say its needless to think so much for the future..sometimes preparing ahead will actually be fruitless..the efforts will go down the drain..when it comes it comes...and it WILL come no matter how we try to stop it!no nid to stop or do further..it is just our fate!

yah..i cant say wad happened as yet coz of politics..yah..
after the release of the news i can safely blog it down..

so i guess we've to really treasure the present, reminisce the past and maybe pray for the future?

wad future are we toking abt?theres no future for us to think about alr..in less than a years time..everything will be in memory and YES!in order to paint a better future i musnt slack now!
its different..i used to hate it to loathe it to complain bt it..but now..a sense of sadness is settling in..slowly n slowly..BUT im sure we r gg to do our best to keep the present n inspire the rest..hw much inspiration?
i do not noe..i jus noe that ive my duties to fulfill..live n cherish watever i haf now..

emotional?yah i am..tgt w the rest..i will be stronger..memories will always be dee no matter hw we try to avoid hw to forget..till den my heart will be sinking...but we will SURVIVE!!

sleepyhead confirmed

as im typing this entry..im confirmed falling asleep!
apart frm falling aslp im lyk msn-in..and thus my entry is lyk half-hearted..sighh..

i feel lyk slping!haha.

busy in sch these 3 days for caroling choir camp..yawns..sing till wanna cry..tml mus go buy n make honey water for the choir if not dey cfm will lose their voice...haha...wah actually me wanna slp before 12 but nws alr 1203am..yawns..me shall quickly finish it and zzzz!

actually dun really noe wad to blog..nvm..mb too tired alr!

kkie..dis morn went to visit the new hall..and i was really really taken aback dat hall 13 is jus a rd away frm e new hall 3!YUCKS!!DISGUSTING!LYK SHIT!!WANNA PUKE!!

its pure jealously..yah..it is..i jus dun wanna see him..anywhere near me...near where im staying..but the thot that she is living so near me irks me!
mb she will be off hall next sem alr?

the best thing is that he wun be in spore...n its good dat he will be in holland!great!the further he is the better..

i cannot deny e fact dat no matter hw far..hw much..hw hard i try..it will be there always..yah..always..wanting to forgt?its nt easy!it really isnt...wad i cn do nw is to channel me energy(nt much left)to hall..but my fuel is running low..jus pack my days and if possible spend time at hm to slack...to slack..to slack..

sighh..

dun tok bt dat alr..

ytd's choir was rather a flop..for a while i wa the onli soprano singing n me sing till i wanna die..literally..wanna die..all melody..all so hiong!wah!puke blood..jianming had to sing the bass and jeremiah sang tenor till he lost his voice..hmm..todaes morns n aft's attention was satisfactory but nitex suddenly disappear..aiyo..tmrs the last day..n hope everything will be fine!sighh...

good good tml cn go hm n haf fun for the next to days bfore me cm bk on fri for mtg n duties on sat..den sun is little peng pengs bdae!!great!gtta go hm early to gif tuition n go to cousins palce to celebrate my nephew's 1st bdae!orhh...so cute!

gtta slp...tml gtta go but tumbler for honey water...yawns

an end to my rottin daes..

yah..tmr will be e start of the daes ahead..cox of hall stuff:P
yah im complaining..on the other hand..im lyk slacking..

n yah...no more job for me during the weekends..super sad..the job sds so interesting but gtta haf lotsa guts!as in its really a public performance in twn!imagine gtting paid n acting in the public!in orchard..wow!
but everything went dn the drain cox ive gtta handle my caroling sessions n clashes w jcrc..no choice..i see my opportunity to perform gg dn the drain..whoosh!DOWN THE DRAIN!

nvm i guess..wad more cn i do?as for money wise...depend on tuition..no choice..my passion?stick to my hall performance!and yah..in case u peeps do not noe im in my hall's production next year..so support support kaex?
toking bt passion?wads passion?im losing passion for a lot of things..im not as enthu as bfore..mb im gtting old..NO NO!!cant cant!

gtta quickly save up for my photoshoot next march..yah..its a gift frm me to me!for my 21st bdae..haha..so peeps!prepare!haha..joking onli:) tink i shall siam..see hw:p

was so bored dat i resorted to reading pples' friendster's testimonials..haha..read a few..n chanced upon his..shudnt haf read..wad e hell..but whu cares?

the thot of gg bk to hall irks me..but nvm get to mix ard w peeps in hall n enjoy life..gtta go for training..n instead of slacking n gtting pple tok behind my nack..i shall be a 'good' princess n train for netball n volleyball..n since onli gtta handle tuition..me will find activities and meet up wif frans!

phew..me pals' exams r ending n finally cn meet up!!yeah!
finally finally!

n im still struggling to understand myself..my life..

sometimes i wonder..mb time shuld freeze at the jc time..though tough yet memorable..though less freedom yet im freed..though less interesting yet im satisfied..though dull yet its fulfilling..

an end to my rotting daes..
a start to forgt..to mingle..to live..for miracles..to dream

a new look a new me?

jus gt my hair cut n nw its nt waist long but its shoulder length..suddenly i feel lighter..but i MISS MY LONG HAIR...my lg lg hair..

din actually expect dat it will be shoulder length..haha..jus went into the uaual salon n tk out a mag wif jappie weds den me jus lked at the pics n pted..the auntie saed..try lahs..quite nice..den she started trimming..cutting..thinning..n tada!a shoulder length cropped hair..my sis commented:so short..!haha..

ive lg hair for lyk 4 yrs so its time for change..so i jus let auntie cut lorhs..she saed if i were to highlight will be nicer..yah..im considering..wait till i gt my next tuition fees:) haha..

i tink i lyk fresher..but peeps dun laugh at me kaex?i tink its nt bad..n me mum- a supporter for shorter hair, liked it a lot..saed i lyk yger..haha..asking me y i din cut lyk dis earlier..haha..so funny..next i wan ear holes..haha..lyk mes asking alot..

i miss my long hair..fast isnt it?
but my hair will grow..bk to the usual length..jus a few mths..but nvm its a new look..a newer me..

zhiyu is gg to us for exchange.. hes gg holland for exchange..im wondering y im nt gg anywhere for exchange..im tinking of gg smu during sem 1 of yr 3..shall kiv this idea!

i was a bit shocked when he sad hes gg there for an exchange on the 22nd jan..i jus dunno hw to react over msn when he told me that..but i jus cool-ly asked when hes leaving..yah..dunno lahs..as usual..asking me to go find a bf..tink so easy to find meh?jus anwhw pick ah?c'mon..mus haf sm std..

dis is wad mel said:'a bf mus be one whom u will be proud to go out with n to be seen with'..haha..it makes sense in a way..a bf should b one whom u r comfy toking w, enjoy act. w, can be trusted, n will feel gd when u r w him..n of cox proud to intro to n be seen by frans:)
haha..alas!influenced by mel!melmel!u see lahs..

but its true i feel..but i realli dun lyk it when he asks me to go find one..hellos!u r despo to haf a gf but im nt eager to gt a bf!of cox i wun mind hafing one who cn care for me n do things tgt..its fated lahs..

tink god has been kind to me but the boys r so funnie..not sch/hall peeps but strangers..a scardy cat i mus sae will be damn afraid to go out w peeps whom i dunno!so even if dey mean no harm..im jus lyk letting em go..one by one..

hall peeps r nice..lyk my uncle..hes so encouraging n corny..so funnie..thanks UNCLE!haha..hes nt exactly dat old lahs..my freshie sm more...a yr older onli..but hes my uncle..u always make me laugh..n thanks for the praises!haha..trying to mk me happy onli..
den deres another fran zg..quite funnie oso..he bikes n offers to chauffeur me ard..but NOPES..i dun tk bikes..sorry..dangerous lahs..plus me mummy will KILL me if i were to ride on one!if nothing happens its okie..if really so unlucky dat i were to meet wif an accident..den im cfm A GONER!!thanks zg ..
these 2 boys r so cute..though dey r 1/2 yrs older dey act as if dey r my age..haha..dey will call me gongzhu/princess cox dey noe ill feel good!haha..so funnie..always play alg wif me..thanks dudes

den another hes jere for short..hes me n daphs khaki..act. tink hes closer to daph..den he said ytd during msn dat hes nt close to ani gals in hall other than us..i tk it as okie lorhs..a helpful pal whose always ard to help us..haha..a but pyschotic..lyks exotic animals lyk frogs..eekss..oh pls!haha..other den dat ok lahs..

dere r gal pals ard oso of cox..but none as close as vonnie,shanx tingx charms n linnie nt forgtting zhiyu n winnie!dey r my 'PRECIOUS' frans..yah..uni frans r mostly hi-bye..its true..i jus wanna sae thanks to huishan n melissa for making my uni life easier!great to haf known u all..plus peeps lyk kit edmind liying joey danny..n yah..him..yah..him..my freshies too!

dere r other peeps ard whu r nice..wads nice?for me..i regard everyone as nice!as in yah..if ya r okie w me im okie w u..i tink im friendly enuf n if ya r nt happy w me den me haf nothing more to sae..

its amazing dat i do haf a gal fran frm hall whom i cn consider my gd fran..again hw gd is gd?at least to encourage n being there for me:)heys!u nv tell me ya r in dnd's bix subcom!

so my life is currently revolving ard gals mostly..haha..so heys where to find bf?dun ask me to gt a bf can..i believe if it cmes it will cm..so no use finding..if it doesnt den doesnt lorhs..i dun mind staying single..do i mind?yah i dun mind!most of my gdy pals r still single wads..nvm ritex?let me be the pres of singles' club!haha..

shall highlight my hair next next week bfore xmas!den councilors u peeps cn see!haha..mus wait till i gt my pay first..its gonna cost 60..wah..so much!haha

a new look, a new joleen, a new princess n a new me?

a NEW skirt!

yippee!!
ive gt meself a new skirt from bugis street!heehee..

gave tuition dis aft den headed to parkway to collect my photos..realised dat me din developed all of the photos..urghh..,missed out the orientation camp's..aiyo..me had alr.filled my 2 200 photo albums!me go gt a new one..one exclusively taken during my uni daes..

aft parkway..went to bugis alone..not dat me enjoy shopping aln but deres practically no one who cn acc. me..all r hafing exams!haha..n me will never ask a guy out..haha..yah!dats me!no way!haha..wadever u tink but too bad..dis JOLEEN!

yah..walked ard n finally found wad im supposed to get for her..been thinking real hard bt wad to get n finally!haha..nahnah..mes nt gg to sae wad ive bought cox she may be reading dis entry..but i guarantee i like it n hope she will too!

very soon!will be meeting yanshan n all!shanxshanx!tell us wad ya wan for ya bdae!
u noe wad..i haven wore the visor as yet..cox i dunno when n where to wear it to..its nice but i realli dunno when i cn wear it..wasted lehs..so next year..haha..

toking bt my new skirt..it costs 30 bucks..a bit ex but i lyk it..unique design!heehee..realised me haf a few skirts which r a bit old n faded so planning to gt at least 3 more!haha..den a few too short..heehee..mus diet den cn fit!haiya..dunno y dun seem to be slimming dn any further..y?vexed!urghh!

my lala land...

yah..jus feel lyk sleeping again..haha..

had tuition n actually prepared to go out..all dressed up n even wore me contacts n stuff..den decided against the idea..jus simply lazy to go out on my own n e worst thing is that im dozing off alr..hw to enjoy my shopping spree lidat?haha..nt that me haf lotsa to spend but yah jus feel lyk gtting more skirts n a a pair of new shoes..n i wanna go pierce earhole..haha..afraid that they will act. gt infected..

me wanna gt a new image!but i dunno hw!!lyk dye my hair..i mean highlight..den im worried that they will be damaged..
aiya..mes afraid of this n that..eventually nothings done!eekss!dats y i hate myself!always tinking so much..so much..always choosing the safest path..nt a daredevil..if this e case i foresee myself nt hafing dyed hair nt wearing earrings n most importantly!!nt a new image!!

urghh..hw hw?im so bored..maybe its nt a good idea to end exams way earlier than frans..i wanna find work!

stupid classified!no suitable jobs...either dat or me cnt seem to wrk during the period for the jobs..urghh...

now learning a new song...by JJ n Jinsha..'BEI FENG CHUI GUO DE XIA TIAN'
quite nice...haha..

yawns..its sleeping time..n im barely awake for 5 hrs!haha

its been a long time..

its been long time since i cn slack this much n sleep up to 12 hrs..haha..so nice..

mes waiting for my frans to finish their exams so we cn go out n play!

tink im gg to get hell frm the jcrc peeps..cos mes act. looking for jobs which im nt suppose to..but the thing is i need sm cash to tide me off w the hostel fees..an increment of 400 is no joke..luckily hafing tuition and my hall fran roped me in for a job onli during the weekends till xmas..heehee..tink its gonna be fun cox we r all hall peeps so at least will be hafing tgt..but hafta see wad im gg to wear for the job..see hw lahs..

wanna go ktv n hope me cn haf a session next week..mes learning sgs nw..haha..
once their exams start mes gg bk to hall again...
a bit sians..maybe yr 3 will mv out le..depends bah...

heehee..cn wait to meet up wif yanshanx tingx n charms..ct councillors!our chalet!wows!heehee..so fun so fun n our xmas dinner!haha..den other buddies like zhiyu charmaine..oh ya suppose to org a sec 2 outing?haha...forgt bt it..peeps like cheowlu n lynn..

lking at my list..haha..no wonder me mum is gtting worried bt my social life..y all gals?haha..shes worried y n i tink its quite ridiculous of her to do so..all alg in gals sch except in jc n im nt considered close to any guys so yah lahs..of cox my companions r girls lahs..for a while she was worried dat i go out w guys den nw shes even more worried dat im gg ouyt wif gals..so funni!haha..tink she asked more bt whu r the gals than when i sae im gg out w guy..haha..

mummy..dun worry lahs..me noe wad me cn/cant do..n im nt dere yet..relax..
haha...no worries!

to pals still hafing exams!continue to mug hard n all will be over sn!
to those whu r free lyk me cn try to jio me out..haha..cox frans r hafing exams so..sians...haha...

slacking? no lorhs

gg to enter a short one since my break is ending sn!

at hm nw my exams will start next tues..haha..did a paper this morn..std okie but mus do faster..luckily its open book..else madi!

yawns mus go mug again..cnt wait for all papers to be over!haha..den all e plans will cm into play!
cnt wait to meet shanx on the 16th..

n councillors!if ya r reading this...its lyk shit lorhs our chalet frm 19th to 21st but ive gt caroling on all these 3 days!wad the hell!no choice..ill rush dn yeah!sure will go!haha

cnt wait for ktv w mei mei!haha..

kie gtta go n mug!kampete!

so bored..

so bored by the amt of readings ive to digest!
read thru sets of them this morn..wow..aft reading was suppose to summarise n map em out but was so strained mentally dat i jus read n read..today mus finish these 2 modules so me cn start w the papers tme..shall do the mapping chap n by chap..given the time cinstrain tink i cn jus do a guide for the linkages n the references for use in the exams..luckily 3 out of 4 r open bk exams!but still needa understd wad..!

jus gt so sick dat ive to mug thru more readings for info systems so decided to cm online..but it seems dat everyonr is busy mugging so nt toking to anione one msn..msn has becm a must since hall days..haha..

jus checked my ntu mail n saw a mail frm my prof for taxation..haha..lifted my spirit a little!y?cox the title read:76 for AA305 quiz 3 keep up the good work!
haha..okay lorhs..i did wrk quite a bit so..yah..mus kampate!

so sian so sian...guess wad playing pinball on my lappie..

sighh..thot cn enjoy ct chalet but may haf caroling at jp on the 20th n 21st..shit lahx..but gd in the sense that at least we din haf too few places to carol this yr else will relect damn badly on us as cultural secretaries..urghh but i dun wanna forgo my break n gathering w my ct pals!tink gtta travel to n fro..see hw ,,yt to cfm..

problems problems problems..

act.dey sae when we blog we mus be prepared dat watever we blogged will be divulged..will be widely read..its nt a palce for private entry..yah..i agree..my blog is accessible to my frans n their frans whom i may or may nt noe..act. dun really lyk the idea of having links dats y my blog doesnt provide links to aniones..on the other hand me dunno hw to link..haha..comp idiot can?haha..

though i noe my 'secrets' will be read..i din really try to hide any specific stuff..being a straight fwd gal..n one w big ego..haha..those who noe me since dunno when will realise dis..haha..my feelings are evident..dere r things which wld luf to blog but i jus cnt cox yah..so ive another 'hard copy'..yah..wad deters me frm blogging some 'sensitive' issues is the fact that huishan act. told me dat me seniors act. went to serch for my blog cox someone cm across it n read sth bt him..yah..so im so super wary..

toking bt him..yah HIM..'deres nothing called bro n sis r'ship'..charmaine told me this..
maybe its true..i dun care alr..keep jumping in n out of this shithole is jus so exhausting..so nt gg to care animore..a part of me is inclined to him..y treat him so nice? on wad basis?no basis other den b n s rship which supposedly doesnt exist..

side note: tink i treat my frans fairly well so y dis discrapancy?i mean nt nw but den..wadever..if ya tink mes nt treating ya well tink u mus be super irritating..my threshold for irritatance is relatively high!haha..

dunno hw to repond to the current situation..usually guys r nt so persistant but..
shld i gif him a chance..he msged me again..i dunno..din reply cos ive really gt no time n if i do will i meet up w him?i mean dun even noe him,..hes a stranger whom i met on THAT train on THAT day..its jus so ridiculous..

maybe its cox of him..i shant continue else im jus propelling meself bk to the past..the memories which i wished i did not have..truthfully ive nv been dat comfortable w sm one bfor esp twds a guy..i mean cn tok n go out one on one..usually go out in grps lyk ctc..ill feel weird w a guy aln..no topic wads..mb hes *** dats y..n mb dats the reason for my inclination..no lahs shall stop all dese nonsense!

sometimes feel lonely haha..act. not really...mb its jus cox of the current situation of 'danger' dats y mb i tink i nid smone to provide me w the security..haha..a bodyguard in other wrds..

kudos to charmaine dat dae for sending me hm..n bothered to 'pick' me up frm hm to studi at macs..thanks thanks!
charmaine,if ya r reading dis i mus tell ya dat its really weird cos yah..i tink u noe wad i wanna sae..its a guy thing n ya r jus lyk my other gal frans frm my py of view..but u r jus special..since ive said so much i tink im nt afraid to sae dat i used to tok behind my seniors bk when i noe dey r lyk u..hope u r nt hurt by this sentence..i seriously apologise to u if i did..i mean its my true feeling..i duuno wad others may sae when we do go out tgt smtimes..gtta admit dat i wasnt comfy at first but nw who cares man!u r my fran n wad dey tink dont matter..i wanna sae a BIG BIG THANK YOU for ya constant support and advices..THANK YOU!glad to noe ya..lyk wad ive told ya..u r so interesting..haha..

tink tis is a super long entry which ill end here..gtta go bk to mug..problems will always be dere..its hw we cope hw we forgt hw we choose to handle hw we ignore..

as for me?ive yet to find out..nw its jus exams!
i WAN MY As!but will be more than satisfied if i cn gt all Bs..