mb it aint passion..else y wavered?

facing a delemma..guess everyone is..

sighh..all the temptations n such..hw not too

everything is finally over!exams n interviews..todays sat n i was up since 8+..wanna go bk to slp again..yawns

waiting for the reply frm kpmg..some of my frans alr gt the offer on the spot..if me nv imply wrgly me shld be accepted too..haha..oh well i applied for risk whilst deirs are assurance n tax so mb its different?

gt the offers frm Deloitte n TOuche as well as PWC..but those r for audit..aint taking them up though its so so tempting cox its PWC!!!if its a positive frm KP den im really wavered..risk management..fraud detecting..internal auditing? sds fun n exciting..but ive realli gtta find out more frm seniors or even the manager if im really accepted..suddenly i feel lyk im more for this..alas?y lidat?thot ive settled for MOE..

im proud of myself..a big ego i have..my aim for the interviews: to ace n shw wad ive gt n see hw far i can go..mb its a wrg choice..in the end gtta decide gt tempted..life's full of temptation..n its bad..mb if im nt so welll educated mb if mes limited to jus a few choices me will be betta?confident n felt good after the interviews..thot i jus crapped the sessions away..each lasting at least 40mins..i dunno..jus gt veri driven n excited when i narrate bt my life..my achievements..hope me din bore them to death..haha..the partner frm pwc even told me tt he went for a jog before my interview..told me tt his wife was teaching in tk n quitted in 1999..told me his daughter is in tk..his current n past residence etc etc..dats a cool lot!interviewer frm DT? ended up telling her hw frightened we were in lee kin wais lecture seminars n the tensed up moments dueing my class presentation..we had a gd laugh indeed..haha..KPMG's a little less casual but ti was comfortable enuf i guess..
so much so much for me to digest within this short period.one after another..
was telling my sis e importance of studying n gt involved in sch in activities dun care wad jus gt ur lazy bum up n DO STHG!!im jus an average student..mb cos of e additionals dat y ive gt wad ive gtten..thanking n owed this to my alma mateur..TKGS!my confidence my character etc etc..the fighting spirit n stuff..
dun tink im good..seriously i dun tink im..kj was telling me dat me cn portray my self well..the bosses like this kinda of employees..my sis told me im more suited to be in the corporate wrld cox of my personality..i aint sure full of doubts bt myself..im confused by my abilities..i dunno..self-doubting is destroying but overconfident kills n its hated..at least by myself
will be realli drawn to kp if i gt the offer..kp is highly perf based..bonus is dependent on perf n OT??haha..wad to do?intervv qns: wads ur view bt OT?haha..oh man wad cn i sae?of cox its alright lahs..haha..kp promises partnership in 8 to 12 yrs' time!!dats like hw cool..with my personality n if i really choose risk my goal: 10 yrs!!yes..ill gif myself ten yrs..at least the post of a risk director..well well it will be a bonus if im a partner..haha..its all tok n no action till now..but ive gtta realise it.
called my cousin whus a high flyer assistant director at PUB..a zai guy..his wife is as capable as him..at 33 he has alr achieved this much..me wan too!!tt means all the thought of hafing a more relaxed life n enjoyment which im seeking will be gone..again he told me dat i may be more suited to the corporate world..suggest dat
i shld try joining the rat race..he told me to condider 3 components: money(practicality), job nature(interests), environment( people)..yah..my focus is on the last 2..risks diff frm audit as least frm my pt of view..people?dey 'look' okie i guess..whu doesnt but i believe im adaptable to pple..shldnt be an obstacle for me..mes open n i dun mind all types of peeps will diff personalities..haha though may complain here n dere but whu doesnt complain?money?lg term its good..hoping me can gt onto the fast track prog call the HIPO..with all the promotions n stuff..money in the lg term looks good..
i wanna be over the rest..liking the feeling of power, acknowledgement n the ability to spend..yes being materialistic here..down the road veri soon ill be able to gt a bigger hse for my family..me n mei r always veri impressed by the condos n the penthses alg parkway..pretty..sighh..its all bt social status..i dunno i wanna be able to walk into posh shps..clad in elegant clothes n allow my parents to eat well and live well..its time alr..my dads 50 today in 10 yrs time hes alr 60..no no..mb 10 yrs is a little too lg..ive gtta tink far!!so it seems dat risk aint dat bad afterall..it all depends on the outcome of the interview..else im with MOE..
before it cmes me shant tink too much..gtta do up wad ive gtta do now:)n enjoy the free time while it lasts..cnt wait for the 13th to go blading w mei..cool n ktv..gonna protect my voice..so its 3 sessions of ktv for the next 2 weeks..wah..haha
had facial ytd..now my face is smooth!!!haha..gt rid of those black heads n dead skin..scrubbed off the dirt..my sis' comment: jie u gt no makeup on..eeks!!!haha..n bestest me saw my sec sch fran n mes so cui!!!aiyos..cnt believe feel lyk digging a hole n jump in!haha..its a lg term investment..the next session will be on the 18th n ill go again before sch reopens dats ard once per month:) gonna tk up an additional tutee so ill haf 3!!high maintenance?haha..wad to do?no lahs jus feel good to haf extra cash ard since next sem is more slack..guess its gods will..he has it all planned out for me..deres no the other half for me so me cn jus focus on wad i wan n wad im doing..thank you god for this..n i truly believe its for my own good
was reading meimei's blog..yah u r right..we shld make plans w/o the other half..its our life..whu noes wads gonna happen if hes gone..if hes to come into the pic hes dere to complement it to share the ups n downs..i agree..truly agree!
so broke liaos..haha..mus gif tuition..haha..next sem is gonna b a great sem i guess..but im forever overloading myself..with additional commitments..vons tking frence n i jus realised deres no korean..haha..told lin the wrg info alr n shans tinking of tking jap!!!haha...me dun mind but dun understd y the OPA's schedule is for this sem!!ellos we r reg for next sem ahs!!me gtta clear 4 aus..wanna mk it a 2 dats week but with the GEs mb hafta haf a 3 days..dun mind a mon to wed week!!haha..den will haf a damn long weekend for me to gif tuition n haf fun..
meanwhile..this the updated schedule for myself..

4th: swim n celeb vonnies bdae!!
5th: sch to reg for subj n meet yanshan to go vivocity
6th: swim n DT's reception dinner at hilton
7th: celeb yanshans bdae
8th: CHoir camp
9th: tentative ktv session w yj
10th: out w meimeis to gt dads prezzie
11th: celeb dads bdae
13th: blading n ktv w meimeis
16th: celeb pengpengs bdae
18th: facial
19th: hall caroling?
23rd: rioja's post exam n xmas celeb steamboat at our beloved cgl's hse

hmm..shld haf more dinners b stuff ard this period i guess..haha..wah its really time to recoup all dat ive spent this hols..n ive gtta be fast!!!

when too mani becms a chore

received my moe letter 2 weeks ago n im supposed to go for a briefing this cming tues for a briefing n to hand in the contract...

ytd was out studying w mei..gt too calls frm deloitte n kpmg for intervv n my fran told me tt ive gt shortlisted for pwcs as well!pengs..wads more?an ey's contract in my cupboard!

thot im settled for nie..gt a bit wavered ytd n i mean now..supposed to be aslp but decided to blog cox gt no one to grumble to!sians..mei mugging for tmrs exam..
hw not to b wavered when uve gt a potential job w pwc waitng for u!!not tt ill cfm geddit but if i realli wan it ill mk sure ill ace the intervv!!cfm!!sighh..
feels great getting shortlisted by all esp. pwc but wads the pt if ive chosen nie?

yah the pay the reputation the ego of a great company!!compared to teaching?
but i can cfm in the long run ill enjoy the latters life more!!

so its NIE NIE NIE!!!!!

shant be wavered but ill still go for the intervvs lahs..haha..as a challenge?see if im gd enuf to gt into pwc..another challenge for myself?

maybe..so i shall sae bye to the lg run high pay job!! welcum me to the life of a teacher!!jus realise im may be an elitist..dun realli wanna teach acctg cox usually special n express stream schs dun offer tt..shall go ask if i cn select schs basing on the eng subject..hopefully can:P but i tink chances r low!

following my heart following my instinct n dey choice is rather obvious..another year in ntu..dats it..yupps..dats all!

getting excited once again

yah after tmr's paper ive a paper left which is on wed! n im not done w revising dat yt..gosh!!!:( wadever im done with revising w tmr's done..phew.nt dat im armed w 100% knowledge n confidence of dealing w all qns..but ive tried my best alr..wadever cmes up tmr me will jus haf to try hard n apply..tink im still okie apart frm not noeing hw to reconcile stuff like the Minority interests shit..the rest lyk passing journal entries r alright..having done the past yrs' papers..possibility of reconciling is rather low..praying hard

hey mei read ur blog..wah pengs hw cm u tiinking of such things so weird..anw nothing wrg with keeping touch w a fran right..its okie wads..so lg as hes not a desporado or sm baddie den i guess its still ok..haha..hopefully not lyk the one whu always try to initiate a conver on msn..wah can gt a bit irritated esp when im busy..:P

hmm..was browsing thru the blogs n realise tt clarence's blog has the most number of pics!haha..photo galore!!cn compete w lin alr!haha..tinking wad phone me shld gt..either samsung z400 a slider phone or the sony erricsons pick phone tink its 610i..cant decide but lotsa peeps hafing the pink one alr!so tink me shld jus gt the slider one..gonna spend a bit on decal for protection else it will gt scratched again!yah..mus quickly settle right after exams!haha..so exciting

yahyah..getting so excited over my schedule after the stupid paper next wed..so here it goes:

1st dec: acc. sis to sch to gt TB, lunch at jack's pl. w mei n ma
2-3rd: tuition..gg out to shp? look out for dads pres?
4th: bdae celeb w von!!
5th: outing w shans to vivo!
6th: choir camp in hall
7th: celeb dearest shan's bdae with tingx n charms!!
11th: celeb daddys bdae!
13th: outing w mei!!blading ktv!
16th: celeb little nephews bdae!!
19th: TTS n hall's xmas party

hmm..so far its lyk dis..pending activities:
ktv/east coast park outing w yj n co.
meeting w weinee
vj class gahering
xmas dinner w shan, von hs n lh
new year meetups?

haha..so mani so mani!!great!
n ill top everything up w swims!!haha

hmmm..shan ahs meanwhile tink of ur prezzie k?tell us tell us!!haha

oh ya von!ive planned ur bdae outing as below..but im still tinking of wad we cn do in the morn..haha

2 to 5: ktv!
dinner at the balcony heerens/french restaurant at taka!!opp. mos!mongolian buffet at park mall(all sds quite ex hor) haha
afterdat either a movie or go admire the xmas lightings!
actually tinking if its too late u cn cm visit my hall..but its lyk a bit far hor?haha
morn we we cn go shp?or u haf betta suggestions?

it's coming n going fast!

suppose to be deep into my sleep!hmm..shld quickly complete this entry and concuss!

finally signed up or 2 upcoming contest..gg w sis..jus to enjoy n gif ourselves wadever opportunities dats available!haha..

went out to mug today..well had a super sinful drink at pac coffee parkway..haha..jus ordered mocha brownie w/o thinking cox me din realli haf time to consider wad to drink!haha..

nice!saw a lot of caucasian..n taitais i guess..at least its more conducive than yoshinoya..shld go mos one of these days since it looked as if its newly renovated..hmmm:)

nearly bot another pretty top jus now but was carrying lotsa stuff so had to gif dat up!sighh..nvm..shall go shp after exams..plenty of time!haha..hmm..hafta go find time to go facial!gt a 100 bucks mary chia voucher..n me jus bot meself a new wallet shp wallet!heh..gonna wash my GUESS wallet frm shan tingx n charmxx..so sad a bit dirty alr so mus wash..

hmm..thurs the start of my first paper..hope it cn jus cm n go den me cn start on my 206!!!if nt its cfm death for me!!sians

nvm its gg to be over soon!yupps all the way mans!

yawns..

mani tmrs

todays betta..

teary ytd..

thanks mei for the msg..changed my blog add n onli restricting to my closest frans..no letting the rest noe..cfm esp when most posts r sch/hall related..too personal..so onli my realli close pals n mei can read..yeah..

hmmm..was comtemplating if me shld join sfter thurs quiz to celeb kanjians bdae cox wanna mug den i thot cm bk oso too tired to mug..might as well enjoy for a while..treat it as a destress activity yah?den its my first paper next thurs..n shld start practising the papers n start revising for the consolidation on fri!:) gg suntec's chongqing quite ex..29.8 nety oh well thot gg krushinbo but in end end cancelled..mb when lins bk we cn go dere??go for the lunch?cheaper..since von n lin both lyk so we shld go!!heehee..

tmr shall go out n mug else ill be slpy in the afternn n nt be efficient again..haha..

i wanna gt a princessy dress..shld try getting frm isetan at wisma..went w von dat dae n dere were so mani:0!!!pretty pretty!!!

ive gtta treasure wadever i haf n wadever aint mine me wun force too..well..it will tk sm time again to gt out..silly to haf fallen in unknowingly..yah when realisation becmes too late

Treasuring

feeling sick n jus had my medicine..slpt late at 2 though me knew me shldnt be..gtta slp more to recover fast..gtta noe bt it there n den..at least im privileged to noe bfore the rest..yah..mb..thanking u for tt..realli

woke up at 6.30 this morn..mes tired but noe me wun be able to fall bk..told sis..she went quiet..she noes wad im tinking..i noe she noes..she din sae..she noes..i noe she noes..mei i noe u noe..thanks for keeping quiet at tt moment..din tk med after bf cox simply thot ill try nt to rely on panadol but gv in cox i can feel the heat rising in me..simply lazy to see doc..self medicating again?

finished 3 chaps of 304 at one go since me cnt go..cnt conc..read thru sentences after setences n still at tt sentence/phrase..alas..forcing myself to conc n focus so in the end managed..affected..y? i noe y..roughly noe..

treasuring the franship, treasuring the trust..thanks for the faith tt me wun sae..taken aback for a while..oh well..dats it..full stop..wishing u well
yah still gd frans:)

ma noes i told her hw i felt..it runs in the family i tink..same as mei she onli kept quiet..she noes hw i feel but jus din sae much at least ahe noes..n i jus wanna share w ma..

hafing a clearer vision of my life..meimei...i admire u!!we will wrk tgt k??our goal our life our dreams..cnt wait for exams to be over so we cn go out enjoy activities tgt!hafing plans here n dere alr:)which is good?at least my lifes occupied n my mind too..yeah its good

mus focus for the next 3 weeks..everything mus be off my mind..completely n nothing else..when it hurts jus slp on it..fortunately this isnt as bad as a yr n a half ago?
now its jus time for studies..anything else can wait!!!

lufing myself more n more..protecting myself to an extent tt its uncontrollable..it all lies in the wrd 'stupidity'

DOWN finally

finally ill..i knew ill fall ill someday..jus haf this veri bad feeling
:( n yah these 2 days hafen been good..mb its exams stress..cun slp well oso..always waking up at 5+ to mug..will always wake up in fright..sighh..this bad..no wonder lack of slp n my eyebags r gtting worse:(

no choice this is the period..its the same for everyone..

oh yah today is LINNIE's 21st!!n me can openly blog down wad we did for her!!hhaha..hey lin hope u realli lyk the gift frm us yeah??all the way frm mango taka to korea via freight!!haha..hmm..me n vonnie oso feel lyk gtting but too ex..haha..:) y not u gt us one frm korea..haha..joking ger!hmm..21 alr!finally babe!!welcum on board!hope u will enjoy urself today!i noe u will!!

was reading mei's blog..yah i agree w her on certain issues..shes strger than me..strger than i thot..gd!shes gtta clearer goals n vision than me..yah our penthse dream!!lets wrk twds it!!if nie aint my place ive to decide if its kpmg or ey..den i shall wrk twds the 2million..though me cnt possibly be a partner..hopefully deres a miracle tt sth is gg to happen

2 mores cming up..im gg w mei!intense practices n selections!but gtta sign up first..yeas!i mus recover fast so my voice w be bk..no heaty stuff again!but i dun mind sacrificing for my interests my dream n life!!

wanna concuss alr..but toking to him..its been a long time since he initiated..thanks for the concern n the reminder..sending him the sgs but its so slow!urghh..dun care he mus learn else hes gonna geddit frm me when w k the next time rd..haha..oops!jus told me he gt attached..yah
ya dun seem to care or choose nt too..so oblivious?den y do i always hafta care?

KTV ROCKS!

cool!!!im so so happy!!
had two sessions of KTV on 2 consecutive dayS!

finally our last presentation for the sem was over ytd!!haha..we r cfm the best team lahs!nv had so much fun wrking tgt bfore..haha..as in its jus quite amusing..e 5 of us gtta noe one another jus this sem to be exact 3 mths ago..n we behaved as if we havw known for years..dey r so approachable n i guess we r of the same frequency bahs..hhaa..most importantly tink kenneths the one whu gel-ed us tgt?haha..hes so funny..brotherly?or mb fatherly?haha..tink hes a veri funny n energetic fellow..

so us gers jus dashed into the toilet n gt changed out into our gg out clothes our pres was over..sians tink prof is bias against us..okie lorhs..but we dun care lahs..kenneths brought so mani things even his wireless keyboard!haha...his crumpler is super huge!!haha..immediately after class we dashed out of sch!!haha..we went crystal jade for lunch cos he wanna eat xiao long bao..so we went n the la mian was lyk so much n in the end guess other den kennie n yingying..de rest of us jus gv up!n he ate lyk 7 xiao long baos lahs!!!crazi sia..so filling!he wanted to treat us but in the end we jus declined the offer..hw nice!!haha..we r close but nt close to tt extent i guess..haha..n we were all given names lah..hes kennie..yiing yng's yingying,lijing's jingjing, debbie's deb deb n mine? jo jo or he will sometime call me joleen meimei..so funnie lahs..tink its this kinda of informality!
so went kbox at clementi!haha..n bestest!!we r all ktv freaks!!!tink all r regulars so r sang relatively well!!!haha:):) good good! thot hes zai but in the ebd he told us he goes ktv to jus listen!best lahs!!but we forced him to sing..in the ens as a SHE fan!all the sgs he sang were SHE's!!!haha..pengs..we were all lauging lyk crazi..bestest feat ytd!he sang one night in beijing w the falsetto n did a duet himself..the theme sg frm dunno hw long ago from shuang tian zhi zun!haha...deb video taped it!!so we shall post on youtube n bribe him!!!haha..sg for 4 hrs n we refilled 15 bowls of tidbits!!haha..mus gt our money worth!!
conclusion?????!!!! we had tremendous fun!!!n its realli FUN!!haha..

this morn woke up earli to finish 2 chaps of 304 bfore proceeding to kbox at parkway w mei!!heehee..cool!!exposed to so mani new new sgs these 2 days n mes gg to master them all!!!duets n solos!! veri veri nice duets mus learn n make sure im super zai so tt me can force felix to sing next time!!!haha:) bet he doesnt noe!!dun care den its my time to suan him le!!!
realli luf singing w mei cos we cn sing lyk crazi!!shes always the one introducing the lastest n hippest sgs to me!!!heh!!n we always gv each other comments on hw we sded n ways to improve!nice!!lufing singing yuan dian n ah mei's zhen shi w u ger!!heehee...we shall go more more often after ur exams yeah?looking fwd!!mmm..okie as for now im looking fwd to a session w vonie on the 4th dec!!heh!!cant wait!i wanna go hark's cafe!!live on stage ktv!!best!cool!!okie tt ive to wait for yx?haha..den ktv's w my hall's freshies..hmm..tink dec is a singing season for me!!all these sesions n caroling camps n caroling seasons..ive been looking fwd to dec since uni cox me gtta go carol w pals in shpping centers n hotels!so cool but of cox will gt sick of the carols by the end of the month!!haha..
hmmm..so hint hint!!me nid honey water!!!haha!!!

immersing ourselves in our dreams..preparing ourselves for them..e feelings r back!im glad to be gg thru these w u, mei!!!thanks!!!:):) jus haf fun yeah?

as for now..its exams first!!!

whee!

jus had a long morning of project!skipped 206 again n poor kenneth was dere alone..hes our super leader mans!!haha..of cos hes the MAN!!planned everything alr..goodgood!the rest of us r jus slackers..cant wait for thurs to be over n can jus conc on mugging,,tink wad kept us gg is the grp's crankiness n of cox how slack how slack!haha..we enjoyed one another's company i guess!n bestest!!tink after our pres on thurs we r gg KTV!!!haha..y? to celeb!!haha..so cool right?n we all lyk to K!!!woohoo..haha..n fri mes gg w sis in the morning!wah stress relievers bfore exams!cant wait cant wait!todays debbies' 22nd bdae..n kenneths so sweet to go help buy card n cake n went to gt an empty tut room to celeb for her..simple!jus sing song n crapped!hmm..guess tt's hw we bond tgt?haha..oh well we had fun though..kenneths so thotful!cant stand!!haha..mb hes mu ji no. 2?haha..*winks*

in the midst of the crowd when i was gg bk to hall!guess wat!!i saw charmaine!!!my PARTNER!!haha..so long nv see u alr!!!so glad to see u heh!!:):) so sad din gt to tok much..hmm..but u still look e same yeah?haha..thanks for telling me ive lost wt!haha..me nid the assurance!:)shall catch up soon yeah?

back in my little cosy room:)

jus realised when mes filling up the app forms dat daddy's approaching his 50th!dats lyk how fast!!oh mans!!the big 5!!urghh..me n mei is planning sth!shall bring pa to eat good food..chinese rest i guess den tinking of wad to buy..

was quite stunned ytd when i heard wad ma said while ranting at pei..shocked mans!she actually said tt eating at hawker centers is low class!!wah!!was practically shutting myself frm her naggings as well but when she said tt me jus woke up apparently!!wah best..since when she gt dis kinda mentality?hmmm..hawker=low class?wah..cant believe cant believe still..wah..mb too angry w my sis alr..dats y..

doctor doctor

stopped revision for 306..pengs..crossing my fingers for tmr's test..haven filled up any of the app forms..shall do it tmr after the sickenig test..hmm..great gg to my fav cafe to mug for 304 aft sch tmr!!!goodgood..so depressed tt me have lost my sense of smell n taste:( sighh..

was uplaoding pics onto friendster n happened to re- read the testimonials..
so here's one..

My dearest mei,
Never believed in the sister brother
thing.. thought it was very cheena.. but..
you are my first ever and most beloved
adopted sister.
Thanks for all the times you make
breakfast for me... the messages you
send me.. the herbal drinks you make
me swallow when i have sore throat =)
All the good luck messages, the
reminders and concern you have
showed me in uni. Eh guys, trust me,
this girl will make ur fairytale gf, but
she's extremelly picky so try hard =)

its slping time!off to sch tmr again:P sians

overdose..overdozed

overdose of 306..its 306 day in day out but dun realli seem to master em completely..als..bestest?closed book quiz..pengs:( jus checked results for 206..phew at least okie lahs..but can definitely do better!!:p gtta buck up:)
waiting for mon for veri long..den she told me she din noe its this mon!best lorhs..hating to tok to her..tell her stuff..she jus din pay attention..always hafta repeat myself like crazy!urghh..im not a tape recorder mans!keep repeating?exams cming..no more ktv..after 306's quiz shall study for 304's exam!!banking in all my time n energy into my studies..gtta buck up!
ktv's my life..gtta wait..yah no choice..
stressed up..not well..betta go see doc soon..sians..waiting money..1000cal per day..hmm..so afr so good..headache..its tking effect..panadol, sorethroat pills, flu tablets, vitamin pills..hmm..any more medication?lemme tk more?haha..
gonna slp n wake up earli for 306 again..sians..but no choice!
so mon shall go n mug at my fav cafe after test n den shp for a pair of low heels:) dis wad i call destressing via shopping..yah shpping
decided to continue keeping my room in hall..vons cming over so she cn stay w me for a few days when shes here!cool!den we cn go find lin in nus when we r free!!heehee..den we cn 'gather' again!so nice!another reason..afraid of the nagging..third..mving out is a chore..4th: fun?hmm..mb? 5th: underlying reason..so the 'hedging instrument' shall depend on this hedged item!yah hedged item:P
gg crazi cox of wrk..
sis managed a position of 9/110 in her express stream..8th in class..shes in the first class..best class in her sch..w all the stress which weve given her she g t this result..can foresee further pressure on her..its gonna increase nv decrease..we r setting her goals for her.issit correct?or r we doing it wrgly? vons right..weve nv in their sch..weve nv been so rebellious bfore..weve nv been in a neighbourhood sch before..weve always been at the top..we wun noe wads the feeling of being below..wun understd their feeling..we r afraid our kids,if ever we have, wun be able to make it to the top like us..wad if they lag behind?gosh?hw hw?we dunno..sighh..so much stress..no wonder its reported tt singaporeans r not happy peeps at all..hw to when we r faced w so many responsibilties?
kj was telling me n hs tt ministers earn much lesser than partners of EY..wah best lahs..senior partners can earn $2m per year whereas junior partners can earn 250k per year..dats alot alot of money but gtta slog lyk shit..ltr becm shit hw?haha..
its betta to do things which uve passion for..its a lg term thing..not jus for the $..$ can buy alot of material things..can help to destress..can mk pple happy..but $ cant buy love, precious time, interest
dats y dere r artists/artistes out dere whu r able to forsake $ for interests...

difficult choice..lost..life juncture..

short but nice

met up w zuzu for the 3rd time for e 3rd consecutive week!haha..but seems lyk we haven met up for a lg time..hahaha..today meetup was a short one..both of us were tired..haha..poor von had sch for the entire day n had to invigilate her juniors..aiyos..den had to lug her stuff:P
haha..cnt believe we r always so good!!haha..we r the best of pals mans!telepathic!n aiyas!we r jus so zai!!always manage to choose the right thing n at the right time..last week chances upon a taiwan snack shp near bugis n today went cineleisure n ate at a little eatery..jappie fd..wanna go for korean at the basement of le meridian but we were jus so exhausted..hmm me dunno y so tired oso..sians..muged the whole day..n since exams r cming!im prepared for my mugging days whereby ill jus mug n do nothing!!no life sia!!no choice!mugging days=mugging daze!!
cnt wait for mon to come dat means 306 quiz will be over n me cn happily go meet meimei for ktv!its been at least 7 wks seince we last k-ed tgt!haha..shall train up again!try out my new sgs!!haha..n one month's time me will be gg w von!!mb when lins bk!we will go again lin!well of cox during hols ill jus go lyk crazy!!i wana go harks cafe!!hmm..shall ask yx alg!haha
meanwhile gtta mug hard..so far most or less haf some plans for hols alr!
0) after xmas celeb!
1) celeb vons bdae
2)celeb shans bdae
3) celeb zhiyus bdae
4) celeb pengs bdae
5) jc class gathering
6) shans tings charms xmas celeb
7) xmas celeb w von
8) xmas w zhiyu
9)blading sessions w meimei, hs,kj?
10) ktv sessions
11) caroling camp
12) caroling sessions

relaxing at home?vexed

supposed to be at aunties place now..decided not too cox if i were to go..ill jud die for my quiz next mon!betta not..finished reading the chapters but gtta practised n gt organised n my 206 report..wah..supposed to start my 304..but 306 is bugging me!!
cant breathe..cant taste, cant smell..wadever i eat is tasteless..tink shld see a doc soon:( pengs..sorethroat n cough too..best!jus let me fall sick?but exams cming!
not as good as it seems..not as perfect as it mus be..a perfectionist?yah mb..n dere goes my nv ending quest to achieve the veri veri best..its tough..taken a toll on myself but no choice..ive no choice
slping cures..shld sleep more, mug more..less of it..dats the life ive

the 21st century independent women!!

YES!!me n vonnie agreed tt we r the 21st century INDEPENDENT woman!!yes!we r CFM!!

mugged a bit den went to meet von at cityhall!!best!!went for bodyshop sale at suntecs convention hall n guess wad we spent again..irresistable mans!!von bot makeup bershes purple mascara n a super unique lipgloss named prism!haha..pretty name ritex?as for me?haha..jus cnt resist the purple mascara as well n bot another set of SHIMMERY GLITTERY SHINY EYE COLOUR!!wahhahaa..cool mans!!okie great mes gg to put em on!!!dun care mus use!!!im so happy w my buy!n oh ya a bottle of cuticle oil as well..so after our satisfactory buy..we trotted to smu to von's locker to leave my comp n stuff den made our way to cathay cineplex to watch Departed the eng version of wu jian dao..not too bad cox me din watch the chinese trilogy.e shw was so lg dat we had no choice but to leave halfway to the toilet!haha..good good onli 6.6 for the tixs for a 2.5HRS SHW!im gg to start using my mini debit card frm NOW on!!hmm..i mean during my xmas spending n stuff!heehee..but mus mk sure gt money first!!haha
proud to sae tt we walked alot ytd!woohoo..gd exercise!after movie walked to bras basah wanted to intro von to ms clarity but den waited for 40mins still gt no seats so went to the stretch of shops at ICON n guess wad we fd a nice taiwan little shp!nice bubble tea n iced crushed mango..the fd isnt ex quite nice given tt mw cnt smell/taste well:( sighh..but we had our fill so headed to bugis which was supposed to be the highlight cox von nids to gt a pretty dress for her bdae party on the 10th nov!!heh..me wun be dere but nvm mines special..hey ger ahs!!quickly choose k?great planning my schedule after my exams alr!cool!!so 4th dec will be crossed out to celeb vonnies bdae!!yeah!!!:)
it was so funnie ytd..was toking bt guys whom we consider r ultimate BASTARDS esp when dey gt attached right after a breakup!yah!she was telling me bt her fran whu gt tgt w a ger cox she comforted him after he broke up w his ex!wah best!!can forgt so fast one mehs?yah we cm to a consensus tt they r BASTARDS cfm!!n yah we were toking bt gers doing likewise oso!but din bother to tink of a classification for this kinda of gers..but both will be condemned bahs..haha..so ger n guy the same!rd 1:on par..den we saeing gers in ntu nbs haf a higher depreciation rate cox of the shorter dep life compared to SMU babes!yah n im left w 16.5% to be depreciated!haha..den we jus simply burst out laughing mans!!so funnie lahs..n if im gg NIE den ive gtta agjust to reflect my fair value n uselife to 4yrs dat is a prospective adj!!haha..best rights?haha..but WE dun care if its 4 yrs 3 yrs or hw many % lahs..if it cmes it cmes..if notgt on w/o lahs!!21st century liaos..guys or no guys its the same lahs!no wonder me n von r so alike..so telepathic dat explains our closeness!haha..n if lin were w us!!cfm!!another of us!!m i right lin????help u ans ya?yah we r right!!haha
so we had our fun over dinner!:)
cn feel the stress alr but its inevitable..after this sem will be fine will be better alr..great!von applied for an exchange to ntu next sem!!cant wait to see u in ntu ger!!we shall tk the same ge n me shal shw u ard n most prob keeping my rm so u cn cm n stay over dearie!!:) we will haf fun n me shall intro u to my khakis in hall..e.g. my friendly neighbours dey will be glad to mahjong w ya!u can join us for our fun n activities..den the few hunks in hall!!hey lets go bio guys mans!!haha..n my og mates..shw u whus darren n felix..n if u dun mind mb jeremiah zhao//my grandfather guanjun, mother qianyi..haha..cool right?me bet u r all ready to dive over alr!!cant wait!but of cox mus quickly start mugging for my exams n urs too..

suddenly me jus realised my nephew will be turing 2 on the 15th dec!!woohoo!!cool!!so dat makes it 5 bdaes!!heh!

though its tough, its a challenge..not onli applicable to me..its exp. by everyone so gtta hang on!yes!hanging on hard..

GOD noes

din noe tt my belief in GOD has been so strg..hes the father of all mankind..hes plans for everyone..he guides us in our life..he has his plans for me n i noe

its hard to realli explain why im starting to believe this..ive forsaken him cox of conflicts in the family..my familys a taoist family..yah..feeling as if im a traitor now..so guilty. mb im attributing all my failings..my problems..troubles to fate..to destiny cox of my incapability in achieving/solving em..mb

was BIG 4 netwrking night ytd in sch..the auditors were so agreesive..y?cox dey nid us..dey r despo for pple..PWC portrayed a gd image but dey aint as approachable i feel..the largest n most pop!wad to do?wanted to miA asap after the pres..in the end no one did so n me hanged ard w kj hs joey so we mingled n managed to tok to a few peeps..one of deloittes' manager kpmg's joseph n partner frm risk management..pwc's tax n oh well was toking to my gst partner!!best he still remembered my name!so paiseh me forgt his lorhs..luckily gt nametag so big somemore!!haha..yah hes kaieng n the super duper elegant n pretty tax partner hhmmm..her name is...sheesh:(all were eagerly promoting their wrk their firms..its their passion?r dey realli realli enjoying??shant doubt their sincerity etc. me hope im lyk em..tok w pride bt wad dey r doing..its hard wrk i mus sae..everyone starts frm scratch when we grad..no ones superior to another..so dat explains the equal platform?
thot i was a little wavered over my nie decision after hearing n learning more bt big 4..as i 'limped' back to hall..me had the little time to think thru again..the ccompetitiveness, the hecticness the long nv-ending hrs..the agreesiveness jus seem so alien to me..well..ive been 'competing' for my past 14 yrs as a student..tink ill die jus to carry on..its not an easy wrld outside alot of backstabbing bad mouthing..etc..its jus complicated..tink ill go crazy dere..oh well if tt's the plan for me ive to accept it n tk up this challenge which ive to overcome..mb ill becm a betta person?
nv thot bt gg into risk or advisory services..bt after toking to joseph n the partner..its lyk hey!!!deres sth out there still!!so this n opening for me?a sign?i wun noe till ltr..but if its really this!den i mus sae im realli blessed cox dun nid to go thru the entire tedious process!gtta noe the partner so its more or less cfm direct into kpmg's!dats if im gg to kpmg..another choice?ey?
hmm..shant tink too much..gg to enjoy my dae w vonnie ltr!shpping movie n fun!!woohoo..betta finished my readings now!!haha..den its play time bfore i start my weekend mugging hard for my quizzes!!!aiyos!!
von!!!so excited!!

feeling at ease when i see the little flower..so sweet..mb its cox its pink n mb its cox its frm ya

jus for ZHIYU!!!

hey ger!!as promised this entry is for u!!me knew ya bdaes on the 29th NOV!!!heH!dun angry k?we will celeb WILDY when u r bk in mid DEC n we can also celeb XMAS tgt babe!!!aint u excited?as im typing ive sth in mind alr!!!:):):)mes gtting excited!!hoping tt u r doing fine in shanghai!all the travelling to mongolia ..u noe wad?im afraid me cnt relate to u when u share ur experiences w me ltr on:( so sad!but i wanna listen ger!!!listen to u describe while i imagine as usual!!t all ears..wish im lyk u travelled to US..china etc..seen so mani things..me felt so small..reclused on this little island:( so sad..wait for u to be bk ger!!n do tk care of ur health yeah?missing U!!!:)

btw gt this frm ur blog..tink it means alot to me as well..so dun mind mes gg to copy n paste it in mine too!!!haha..alot of things to tell u dear ..but when u r bk k?now u haf a lot to share w me oso!!so here it goes...

When there was me and you..

It's funny when you find yourself
Looking from the outside
I'm standing here but all I want
Is to be over there
Why did I let myself believe
Miracles could happen
Cause now I have to pretend
That I don't really care

I thought you were my fairytale
A dream when I'm not sleeping
A wish upon a star
Thats coming true
But everybody else could tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
When there was me and you

I swore I knew the melody
That I heard you singing
And when you smiled
You made me feel
Like I could sing along
But then you went and changed the words
Now my heart is empty
I'm only left with used-to-be's
Once upon a song

Now I know your not a fairytale
And dreams were meant for sleeping
And wishes on a star
Just don't come true
Cause now even I can tell
That I confused my feelings with the truth
Cause I liked the view
When there was me and you

I can't believe that
I could be so blind
It's like you were floating
While I was falling
And I didn't mind

Cause I liked the view
Thought you felt it too
When there was me and you

moodless

was in a rather good n relaxed mood minutes ago till my mum the 'nagging machine' started again!yes!yet again..ISt target: daddy 2nd target: me, reason relating to contributions me hafta gif when i grad again 3rd target: my sis, reason for trying to stand up for me. poor ger..thanks for trying to speak up for me but in the end ganna scolded as well:( poor thing!next time jus keep quiet lyk me n jus ren!!
mb ive made the right decision to keep my room in hall..at least me can haf some peace..yes some peace..contemplating to continue next sem given my situation mb even if i gt into NIE?i dunno..jus so tired of hearing everything again n again..repeatedly..everytime im home every weekend..thot supposed to be the opposite?supposed to show more concern? vexed..

exams cming..stressed so stressed..betta start..else cfm die!fortunately dere r tests cming up so at least can force me to study now!!yah!NOW!
its off to Mac with huishan n mug again!miss mugging w u!!haha

tmrs gonna wake up early to read 304 text..den back to sch den off to MOE den back to hall again..all the travelling..sighh..but nvm

looking fwd to fri cox gg out w von!hey babe!jus read ya latest entry!heehee..yah shpping w u is so fun ya?a bit ge xi if we cn haf lunch me can intro u to miss clarity near ur sch!!haha..gd place rec by yanshan:) nvm next time yeah? ill promise to org an outing w u to celeb ur bdae!n we will wait for u weilin!!LIN U SEE THIS??WE WILL WAIT FOR U TO COME BACK!!4TH JAN!!yeS!!celeb w U!though it will be ard 5 weeks late!hey to tink of it u will be bk soon ger!looking fwd!heh ger on a spending spree ahs?wah..so jealous cnt wait to go on my taiwan trip w shanx n meimei next june..woohoo..grad will hafta be postphoned cox gg to wait for von so we can visit darius n clarence in LONDON!wah!!dat will be in UK!!okie dat means save save save!!my NIE pay if im in!if not den hmm..die lors! heehee good den can go visit london bridge, UCL and hmm..wads darius' uni ahs?ooopss!cant wait..we will b 22/23?alas!cant believe!dun wanna believe

slpyhead's turning in..zzzzzz

ohh..fd out whus he alr..so sweet..yah thanks!nice little 'surprise':)

secret..admirer?

these pics r frm mel's blog! us at waraku!!:):):)


2nd post for today..slpy my eyes r veri dry:( tink its cos of the stupid haze:( sians!so warm outside:( so now im seated comfortably on my chair enjoying the aircon n yah gg to pia my 206 proj n pres tonight!!urghh..jus so feel lyk concussing but gtta wait for my hair to dry:P

was telling mel bt danny's engine fraN..getting a bit weird n mes gg to be on guard..in my defensive gear!haha..hopefully he doesnt try to whine to be abt how sad he is!scary:(

was greeted by a little but nice surprise this morn cox deres a mini stalk of pink rose stuck to the door..my meighbours haf them as well:) so nice to see sth so sweet earli in the morn..thot its frm the hall's welfare com to wish us good luck for exams or sth..so din bother
when me was bk deniece screamed across n happily told me tt its frm 'my bf'..hmmm..first thing first!me dun even haf a BF!not even close to anione to start ani rumours!2nd: third yr alr whu will care bt the lao zao bo?freshies first wads!so cannot be..asked daph she refused to tell me oso!haha..best lorhs!hey this is called fran?den she said hes a good catch..haha..ellos!ger ah if dat helps..wadever..but mes interested to find out whu!!jus tell me whu!!!haha..n mummy was lyk dun shout so loudly jux cox u haf a bf lehs!wah!stunned!dunno wads happening mans!haha..i wanna noe whu!!!haha

today's lunch was alritex..as funny as ever..as crappy as ever..its bt progression..i can see..doing well n perform is the priority..a pity tt its aint really wad ya wan..so sad..forcing urself?mb frm my viewpt..its hard but it aint formidable for u..wishing u well.
kill me for eating the meat mans..jus kill me!but thanks..jus saeing thanks
(heyhey pls dun reveal whus whu yeah?thanks..jus needing a little space, a little privacy..a little understanding..stay hush hush k:)thanks peeps)

thy limit is my limit

back in hall on a lazy monday mon..dreading the day's lessons at 1030 ltr..wanted to cm bk ytd but jus cant bear to drag myself back to sch..so in the end stayed at home gave tuition..first time gifing 2 tuitions at home!!bestbest!!haha..good money no transport costs at all..den finished up 306 chapter 7 n prep for todays auditing class!so this week starts again..sighh..gtta focus on the coming 2 tests n 2 presentation..boo:(

had a fulfilling weekend last fri n sat!!tok bt sat first!!

me n my dearest sweetest n telepathic zuzu--von went to the super hyped-up n highly publicised VIVO CITY!!yeah!!was telling her tt we can be counted as one of the many early birds to visit the MEGA shopping paradise!haha..cfm!!so big jus so big..all the stores some cn be fd in orchard..lyk dah!!r jus crazily humongous!wah..ranging frm forever 21 topshop espirit n to the me-cant-afford GAP!woohoo!jus so marvellous sia!haha..as a shopaholic cox me was super duper thrilled..plus the crowd was lyk wow..real surprised tt they were so many pple tt we were stuck at the mrt gantry!pengs n our dearest von gt so so excited tt she took out her cameo n started snapping pics of the 'SCENE'..haha..me fd out the STOMP add alr ger!!
yah we were so pleased w our buyings tt day!went to the mega espirit shp n cox von was gtting a lipstick for her aunt so we hanged ard the red earth counter..haha..wah..n then whu noes!!we spent 72 ++ on makeup!!haha..zuzu bought a sweet pink blusher n the lipstick whilst me still hafing my eye colour craze bot an orange n green eye shadow plus a pretty glitter powder!heehee..spent lyk at least an hr trying on and stuff..so pleased yea?we cfm had fun..after tt headed to twn cox von din managed to gt a wallet for her frans 21st..so in the end were at taka n she bot an ELLE blue wallet!not bad..the lady was super friendly..haha..gt 20% disct somemore..gd buy ya? walked ard n von finally bot the oriental slipper frm URS!gd gd wear this fri yeah?
great!we r mtg up to go bugis this fri..1st it will be movie at cathay cineplex den bugis!haha..gd gd..hopefully we cn find ya dress yea?n me shal gt mine so when we meeet to celeb ur bdae after exams we will be all clad in pretty princessy dresses!yahyah..n our beautiful makeup k?haha..so we mus find a fine rest. to be served!haha..so excited!!ger im so looking fwd!!!:):)
there r 3 veri important bdaes cming up suppose to be 4 but lin aint ard!!so outstding ive von's shan's and charmaine's!n my fav. festival!CHRISTMAS!!caroling n of cox xmas meetups n dinners!woohoo..hmm..saving up for a lot of things..of cox gifts lahs!first yr gifing xmas prezzies..so exciting!!
noeing my limits..sm things its tough to ctrl but i guess its alright..doesnt mean anything jus means care n happiness..tink its alritex:)yah its alritex:)

fri: our OG+CGL yongxiang+iris+kangjian+edmund went place waraku tgt to celeb huishans bdae!!heehee..me suggested the place!cfm!!cox its my FAV jap restaurant in town!the sashimi is quite cheap after asking iris jus now!great!i shall order the next time!heehee great idea iris!find a day we cn jio a few more peeps to go for kuishin bowl's buffet!!woohoo..i like jap!i like korean's as well!!hee
after dat we went KTV at chinatwn!mel n xiaohan went too!both of them nv sing:( fun fun!yah mel now ya noe y i was saeing yxs good!haha..sang till ard 2+ den yx drove us home in his SUV..such a big family car! comfy:)good for large grp outings:) surprisingly he remembered the way w/o me guiding him..wah impressed by his mega memory!haha//a veri gentlemanly senior indeed even offered to walk me to the lift by tt time it was alr 3 plus..these r the many little things to impress a ger sia!at least for me!haha..oopps!well was so tired after tt n jus concussed!final verdict: FUN(minus away the stupid 206 quiz which dampened my mood a bit:()

suppose to be aslp at 1045pm ytd in the end cox my sis n mum were watching pirnncess hrs esp the last 2 discs me jus cldnt bear to miss!!so stayed up till 1240am?so sorrie tt me din go online..yah
so touching so touching..sighh..it ended well or shld i sae expected..emotionally touched by wad the prince did..hey meimei..dun pretend u din cry okie?haha..caught u!!everytime laugh at me n mei..ytd u did too lorhs!!haha..best!wonder the no. of sheets of tissue we used..haha..so paiseh so old alr still lidat but wad to do?so touching so sweet so lovely!but in reality none of this will happen!whu in wrld will be so lucky to be picked to be a crown princess jus lidat!moreover, this is spore sia!where gt this kinda of things..unless its britain, japan, korea?
i mus realli commend on the outfits of the princess!best!she was nv dressed in the same dress/clothes twice!n dey were jus so so prrrrerrrrrtttyyyy!!!!!!!!!wah!!so jealous sia!n shes so sweet!!!

hmm..betta go read up on my case for 206 pres on thurs den the day will start again!sian dun feel lyk gg for 306 lect but its mon!once a week..treasure the short time..yah treasuring bfore its gone:)

korean korean korean!!

its been a few days' since ive last updated cox im totally engrossed in GOONG!PRINCESS HOURS!woohoo!!haha
of cox apart frm tt busy w tmr's 206 quiz n todays 306 killer pres..phew finally the most dreaded pres for this sem is OVER!!haha..stumbled cox was too seh till the end..aiyos where gt peep present for half hr one?cant conc animore mans..oh well its OVER!!n im glad cfm!!

tmrs quiz..sian..not totally prepared n me skipped 2 sems for auditing!pengs..but well its still within my targetted 2 sems per sem of skipping!haha

im in luf w goong..same as other idol drama..but this is in korean!haha..gt eng sub..still its quite alritex..i like the modern clothes worn by the actresses..so pretty esp by the princess!so princessy!!shes so pretty!n shes onli 22 in reality..wah..so nice to be able to act yea?but i can vouch tt acting is not joke all the stress bt memorising n stuff esp when u haf to rehearse n co-ord w ur partners..its nice when u watch but the amt of hard wrk n effort is immenwse!!really.. so sad me wun be acting next yr cox next yrs hall's production aint gg ti be a drama..nonetheless me was veri glad tt me had the experience of gg on stage n danced acted sang bfore..though 2 yrs aint long but im veri proud of myself for doing so..n thankful to my pals whu supported me for the past 2 SPs perf!!esp my council frans whu went for 2 consec yrs!!thanks alot dudes n babies!!

was quite entertained in the afternn as i was chatting to this freshie online..hes thomas..act. shldnt sae hes a freshie cos he aint frm NBS n he crashed into our OG last yr..so ya..anw he was so entertaining..bothered to play alg..haha..addressed me as princess joleen..haha..no one has played alg so well bfore..hmm..okie gt a few lahs..but he was the most gungho!!haha..i knew he wld ask whus my prince n stuff..yeah..cos he asked bfore..sian..so told him no prince lahs..so funnie..
cant understd y pple always haf e impression tt im attached..pengs..dun lehs..so stressful sia..den dey will start asking bt this n tt..like wad r my criteria etc..aiyos spare me can?hahs
looking fwd to tmr n sat!yeah!!aft celeb. shans bdae gg KTV yeah!!thanks danny for booking the rm!!i wanna sing bei feng chui guo de xia tian w yx!!heehee..he cn harmonise well!!!goodgood!!heehee
den its vivocity on sat w my dearest n sweetest zuzu!!!yeah!!so sun shall stay home n mug for next weeks stuff..okok..betta go nap awhile den wake up to try the quiz qnsn revise..concussed!!

timecheck:1056pm
location:hall 3

thankful!

i mus really thank GOD for his kindness and love for me..really really blessed!
just when i am busy looking for a paet time job on top of gifing tuition..n jus when me was bt to call up my usual tuition agency, my current tutee's mum requested me to teach his son as well!haha..of cox me agreed..w/o hesistation!first no travelling involved..no longer need to spend 3 hrs gifing tuition n travelling to bedok alr!phew!so m veri thankful tt mes financially independent to an extent again!
me dun nid a lot to keep me gg..though me do splurge now n then but hey!im a ger lehs!!haha
thankful tt mes always veri fortunate, meeting nice pple..renxing's parents n even nainai were so grateful twds me..alas..no nid to be grateful..i mean hes a clever kid whu has alot of potential n hes cfm hardwrking!but im appreciative twds them..thanks for the further pay increment!haha..hopefully he manages to get into dunman high..at least me din mk it when i was in pri 6..i can declare proudly tt my student act. made it!!yah
always thankful tt me have veri good frans!not fogetting my tk n vj mates n a few ntu pals..thanks!!but i wanna specially thank zhiwei!zhiwei thanks alot..in the end me din go..i noe ive disappointed u..n most importantly ive disappointed myself..studies or shld i be more specific..cox of next fri's test..tt's y i din go..struggled quite a bit..esp. after wad u told me ytd at KFC..thanks for letting me noe..ive let an opportunity slipped past..but im realli grateful!thanksthanks!!:):) no wonder u r my good fran!!wun disappoint myself again cox me noe deres another coming:)
thankful tt mes hafing support though not full but at least mes aware tt dere r at least peeps behind me!thanks!
my hall freshie read my palm..sceptical over wad he said cox me dun believe his skills!haha..he said tt hes jealous!cox ill be hafing veri good life!!haha..thanks leh!i really hope its lidat yea?haha..if not den ill kill u!!haha..
suppose to meet von to go vivocity on tues but after weighing the opp cost decide to change it to next sat instead..atleast me dunnid to worrie bt 306 pres n 206 test!sians..so mes gg to put in my 150% to mug these few days den haf fun on sat!!fri's gonna haf fun oso..but sat's tuition will be rather early n intensive..hopefully he can grasp wad im teaching..1 mth leading to his p3 exams..aiyos me will jus try my best ya?
cant wait to von next sat!
ytd my pres treated to sakura buffet at somerset..not too bad:P wah ngiam n winnie dey all can realli eat!!so much its jus so much..so scary mans!!me lyk the sweet n sour fish n the black chicken soup..tasty..yumyum!thanks yutian!n tt meal costed him almost 300bucks..heard frm winnie tt the past pres treated their secretaries to places posher than ours..luke treated his to pariss international..aiyos cant be compared cox lukes a rich kid!of cox lahs..n chuan teck treated his to one whicn is even more ex. than pariss!wah dat means its lyk so hotel or sth alr!!best!!haha..ai feel wads impt is the fun n socialisation not interms of which is pricer..yah..i mean so wad if its ex..u still bite/chew/swallow the food..it will still undergo the same digestive process..den exit frm the body..so wads the pt..?mb for me whus not picky wun mind lahs..haha
tmr gg to pon 304 to mug for 206!yah so tt's a lect n off to hall to mug!mus finish on tue n study n complete the slides for 306..after this week den gtta start on 304's 2nd quiz alr!den 306 again!nv ending..sighh..
im gg to wrk twds it cox when all these r over im almost done..almost dere..i noe i will be blessed!!
thank you!!

thank you shans!

thanks shan!!so happy to see u ger!!yah though it was onli 6 weeks since we last met!so nice!gd rec. Miss Clarity is great!nice food n cheap ger!heehee..n i lyk my brows!!good after exams we mus go to the PS one n trim!!!goodgood!!heehee..hope u r well ger?mb food poisoning!hey we mus go gt dresses after exams n wear for our outing k?demand tings n charms to wear oso!!heehee..mes gg to gif u babes sth real diff this xmas!!!heehee..u gers jus hafta wait yea?heehee!!cnt wait 4 exmas to be over mans!!
it was a nice shw--wrld trade center..we din plan to watch this but den jus bot the tixs cox we had nothing to do aniwae..jus cnt bring ourselves to watch chinese movie in a cinema..not worth we think..haha..quite sad but it realli mkes me reflect alot bt the vulnerability in life..sighh..when it cmes it will come so no pt..well live life to the fullest i guess..
feeling okie..but getting worried after reading..dun wish to overdo things..but its worrying..has been a prob/illness?wads happening?wanna noe/do more but wad for?can i?shall i?shld i?as a fran mb?yah as a fran..
thanks zhiwei for being so helpful..i dunno if i shld go..hafen been practising..losing confi..in everything even in the most basic..definitely not pleasing to the ears..cfm!affected n inflicted..

vivocity will b opened tmr!shall ask von to acc. me den cn go watch movue in the new GV!a way to destress?yah mb?suddenly feel lyk being drunk..haha..ts saes ive an ex way of destressing..haha..mes not rich lahs..jus so onli mahs..no harm!!

slping time!1154am..i shall do it bfore i concuss..yah bfore concussing

wanted to finish watching espisode 4 of princess' hrs but gt streaming probs..sians

suppose to finish my 206 industry analysis..but cun tk it animore..so din..

suppose to complete 206 chapters..but too seh..

tmr's a day of fun w shans!good..lunch n slack n movie but im alr so happy..so elated..so looking fwd!best!!heehee..jus cnt wait animore..

hmm..so tmr gtta wake up earli to mug first if not me will feel super guilty!!!yes!!!MUG!

shared my joy w daph she understd cox we r in the same shoe..yeah..sad case..but its alritex..nids no reciprocation..a little acknowledgement will do i guess:)

happy contented fulfilling silly stupid naive

things hafta remain this way so dere wun be sacrifices

not gg bk not turning back not looking back

tired n incapable of doing so

an opportunity a chance a hope a dream

all i wan is satisfaction happiness n assurances

reassurances

its been a long time mb a yr?mb a little lger since we chatted..its nice..thanks for the reassurances..thanks for remembering..thanks for shwing tt u care..cnt help but to be sceptical bt wad u said but i am trusting u..thanks alot! its part of my life now..a part not integral n shldnt be crucial..its aint i must tell myself..thanks anw!

as cool as ever, as cool as cucumber?cant fathom wads in e mind..cant seem to foresee anithing..useless to probe n carry on endlessly..wasting effort?wads the pt?wads my pt?ive no pt?

betta turn in alr..gtta wk up early to do 206 proj!cant wait for fri shans!!cool day!fun day!!a day when i can go all out n play n enjoy shans company..cant wait to c each other!really cant wait!my dear fran!

it gts tired sometimes..not noeing wads the aim..so stupid

chatter-boxes

had a very long and tiring day..fortunately 306's quiz was over!!great..a load off my mind but gtta prep for 206 alr!quiz wasnt tt bad i guess din finish as usual but shld be able to pass..having a veri bad headache esp during the last hr of of the day's tut..tink really lack of slp considering tt me always slp at 11+ pm at home..so im in hall now n u bet t mes gg to slp a little ltr..

trying to prep for tmr's discussion on the report evaluation for thurs team..sians cant understd y 304 is so troublesome..so mani reports to write..wad participation..waste my time mans..urghh..no choice..do lorhs..so reading the case n e report but feeling slpy alr..suppose to be doing 306 slides but guess haf to complete them tmr!!yah by tmr n prep it!!else thurs cfm die..dunno y but me can feel tt mes falling sick real soon..

went to can 14 w daph n cheryl our tk n vj junior..so funny lahs..ended up gossiping for 2 hrs at the canteen n den in daphs room when we were bk!haha..bestest!!so its all bt guys n more guys n gers again!pengs..haha..but quite enjoyable cox veri seldom can gt to suan daph till shes like 'dont lidat' lehs..haha..now u peeps understd how it feels to gt all those...

he gt electrocuted by a live wire in the dance room..luckily wasnt injured..phew..hes a devout christian..so gods on his side..

gg to watch princess hours den concuss n waking up earli again

saw him today..looked super exhuasted...cfm mus be all those mugging n stuff..yeah cfmed he mugged if not he wldnt haf completed e paper..good good dats y im always impressed..

alot of goodfrans..yesh good frans

motivated

im more motivated now!at least for the next 2 weeks!haha..y? cox all i nid to do is to pass mon's horrid test n thurs disgusting pres n start w my 206 quiz!yah den it will be over..:)

next fri gonna be fun mtg yanshan though place n time not cfm..but im definitely looking to mtg u babe!!n next sat will be our JCRC treat frm our pres!!yes our 23rd pres whus so super ons hall tt his spirit nv die!!yah so dats next sat!either lunch or dinner!n yes on thw 10th oct!!woohoo mtg another of my best best CT council buddy!!!really looking fwd to these outings w my pals!!so fun!!i mean nt tt we r gg to do some out of the wrld antics or wad but jus a simple lunch/dinner or jus walking ard..tink we r satisfied alr!hmm..hw bt watching a movie?or mb go blading?haha..me dun mind anithing!tink we jus nid a breather bahs
n shanshan!if ya r reading this..hw cm nv see u online?sighh..come online more often lehs..:(
darius is living tmr..night flight..bon voyage dude!!take care
tmrs gg to wear my new top n my heels..gg to my first mac party after passing my childhood yrs..wondering hws a 21st party held at mac will turn out to b like..interesting..shall meet daph before tt n gt prezzie for my kids..
so sad to hear tt my fran broke up w his ger for a few weeks..poor thing..gt jilted by gers?haha..recently hearing alot bt bois gtting ditched by gers..haha..ohh..so sad:( but none of my bix though shall b a busybody..else me may gt embroiled into some unnecessary trouble as well..aiyos betta shut!yah dats the way
jere mentioned him jus now again..pengs..its non-stop reminder..whilst e lead r dormant souls the rest r immersing emselves in fun n laughter..best..dunno n dun wanna sae anithing more..jus let it be bahs
jus submitted my application for an assignment based job..hopefully can gt n oso to hear frm MOE..meanwhile its still job hunting time!

my aim my goal my dreams my aspirations..my hope

it's about discipline

jus realised tt me haven been eating rice n noodles for quite sometime..todays wed n e last timee i did 'savour' rice was last sat tink it was e most 20 grains?n it was e japanese sticky kind..dis is the fifth year into e regime. frm no fried,unhealthy, creamy food to low carbo n fattening ones n now its no carbo..no wonder mes forever feeling slpy n exhausted
was reading darius' blog..all bt him busy preparing for dis fri- his departure day..feeling excited for u boy!a new phase of ur life!hey dude!!find urself a caucasian babe ya?no nid to be 'made in spore' lahs!haha..e the most break bfore u cm bk lahs!since breaking up is a trend now!!haha..oopss..no lahs jus joking yah?
read clarences entries as well..beautiful photos pretty london!n ur room is so nice..looks comfy n homely..one wrd: splendid!! glad u r hafing fun clarence! so darius u mus post photos k?
saw linnies photos as well..n korea is great as well..hey babe!issit ur super powerful cameo r issit really so nice?haha..but frm the pics we cn tell tt u r hafing fun dere!!goodgood my frans r living well..im happy for u peeps!:)
oct 1st is coming n its gonna be childrens dae..tink ill go taka sq to get the nice choco bis for my kids:) today yanyan was feeling tired..poor little ger..sorry for hafing to schedule it today..mes tired too..after 2 rds..appalled by the no. of times me hafta got to renxings place..was tinking if me can skip tmrs since he had finished 8 papers in 2 sessions..in the end jus cant cox gtta revise his compo w him..nvm a few more sessions onli..jus this few more n it will be the last session w him..i guess me will nv gt to meet him again..really feeling good tt his parents r so appreciative but mes jus doing my job as a tutor..mes doing so not cox of treats or wad..gradually i feel tt its my responsiblity to share my limited knowledge w em
his dad told him tt hes tinking of gifing me a treat..i was lyk hmm..its my job n tink aint necessary
these few days haf been flipping thru classified again..hafing been doing so for sometime..yah me nid another job..gtta be financially independent..sentosas new hotel is looking for guest relations officer me feel lyk trying mb ill jus email n ask if they r offering part time..mons deres one frm clinique, mac etc. looking for makeup artistes offering part time oso..wondering if daphs keen if so we cn go try it out!no wonder im so busy no time for this n dat..still rememberes clarence commenting tt mes a workaholic..yah i cant stp..n me cn feel the imapact..jus feel great being able to spend wad i earn..not much though but sometimes mus chong3 myself!yah
tmrs 206 mtg has been cancelled..phew no nid to head back to sch jus for it..glad tt my grp aint lyk 304 else me cfm mati the second time!more time to studi for 306..not suppose to be online now but mes super sian of mugging though me onli mugged for 3 hrs today..din touch the rest of the mod..shall start mugging for 206 next tue after mon's test..wah pengs..
looking fwd to next fri!cox finally gt to meet shan during her smu hols..din see her online often nowadays..sighh..so it will be really glad to meet u my dear:) tings oso!!n of cox charms!i shant haf ani tuition next fri jus to make it free for the meet up!tinking of gg sakae since its been a while weve been dere..or shld we try sth new?tink after this mtg weve to wait till after exams:(
was reading charmaines blog!yah my partner's blog..hmm..hope u r fine yah?lg time nv see n hear frm u alr..hope tt ur IA at exxon aint too tough yah?take care!!
thanks for ur msges..yah guess mes doing well..guess a boring n repetitive life means leading a not too bad life for me bahs
losing e shine?losing the vigour?mb wads essential is a break..a lg lg one..far far away..so far tt e peeps r total strangers..beautiful sea cooling breeze placid waters quiet n natural..a paradise to be spent w one to be treasured the most, one who understands u e best..one who noes wad ya r tinking even if u dun speak..
its 11th n counting..hopefully it will jus stp dere..no more bees n flies..jus gtta haf a butterfly for a vibrant sunflower
slping n its mugging earlier at 5 again..how not to be repetitive?

timecheck:1120 pm wed

dreams do come true

newly crowned singapore idol: hady..jonathan lost..his dream came true

everyone has their little dream..hafing dreams, being able to dream is a dble edge sword..too little?lifes not exciting..too much?one will be clouded by e impracticality..

dun be afraid to dream..be it a career, being w ur perfect lover, a blissful family..jus put ur heart n soul into it..wrk twds it..but reality rules..they do come true but seldom..dun even attempt?uve gt no chance..no guts..all have onli one life if we dont do it now den when?

getting tired frm all these..suxs..cming to terms w alot of things..when situations dun wrk out jus gonna let it be..concentrating on the important foregoing the burden.. the load..jus when the load is lightening more has been added..not falling back i noe its another tunnel a different path..though it was jus dat mani minutes when translated into seconds..dats quite substantial..dats sufficient n wun be asking for more

gods been kind to me n mes believing

the power in me is glowing?flikering?

whens its the end i noe i still have my family

pretty siloso!

wasnt supposed to be at siloso today cox me was intending to stay at home to mug..in the end me relented cox gtta pass the access card to him at harbourfront this morn..true dat it will b weird if i were jus go dere to pass e key n jus cm home..cfm off!n as usual the hall peeps will try to start some unnecessary rumour le..so in the end went sentosa w em..it wasnt too bad afterall though me n my freshies proclaimed tt we r taitais n jus sat in the shade n refused to join in e games..so 3 if us jus crapped n oogled at the babes n hunks..haha..no mani hunks but dere were bikini babes!!haha..dere were onli 5 freshies n lotsa of seniors n mes the onli one frm the side whu went..daph winnie deniece mummy din go..sighh..but at least i was entertained by the freshies..woohoo..of cox entertaining w the presence of my hall queen n her roomie plus another pretty junior n my eye candy n his roomie..haha..furthermore gt my yr 1 hs eyecandies..haha..n yr 2's?hmm..wah so mani..cfm happy!haha..
sadly we were pretty divided into 3 grps: the freshies, the super seniors n the current hs..hmm..a bit bad as i can feel tt the freshies r a bit left out..haha..at least mes mixing w em!quite happy w myself cox through this short gathering, ive gt to noe em betta!yah im enjoying this kinda of feeling n hopefully they r feeling likewise too:) making new frans is always fun for me..its rather easy cox im kaypoh?im chatty?crappy?haha..dun care lahs..mixing wif hot babes n hunks!whu dun wan ritex?haha..oopss!
as ive mentioned before, without fail every gathering someone will haf to mention bt him n me..aiyos headache!since yr one..hmm..can gt a bit tired u noe?but dun care lahs..see hw lg they can last..tahan-ed for 2 yrs plus alr might as well jus let em continue..after lunch we jus sat down at one of the benches n watched the peeps play n the beach-goers den me rushed off at ard 3pm cox of tuition in the end changed my mind n cm home cox mum n sis n dad r all sick..alamak!!sighh..but had one at 8pm..
so dere goes my sunday!urghh..one more week to the killer 306!im gg to die but me cnt let myself to jus die!
ytd was well spent n im always right tt my sis is really my confidant!she understds me so so well jus tt we haf no time dats all!my sis my sis!thanks mei mei!!wanted to shop at far east as well however, we hanged ard bugis for so long tt in the end we shoped dere frm 2 to ard 8 plus including dinner!haha..it was cfm a great shopping trip!bot a pair of ripples for pei our belated bdae gift for her..glad tt she loves it!tsk!!den me gt an exotic belt for 10..damn damn pretty!!will go well in jeans!haha..mei bot stuff too..myuk's pencil case..den went bugis street where we spent the bulk of the time!hmm..saw a veri pretty yellow top but din gt though it was onli 18 cox was lazy to gt a tube to go w it..haha..den was glad tt me bot a princessy top!a long one to go w denim pants!haha..nice!!i like!cox it looks good!meimei bot a halter one frm the same shp n with my ultimate bargaining skills managed to gt em at below 20 each..den mei bot a bag frm maryjane..quite nice as well!haha..so good..its so so nice to shp
we had dinner at ajitai..kuo meimei is the spokesperson of the restaurant..haha..i luf the setting..we shared n the bill cm up to onli 27!superb price great deal!food was so so onli but e ambience was dere!confided in meimei..n she did gif her two cents worth!feeling better after toking to her..she knew wad i want she suggested tt me shld go NIE first since its the most feasible alternative..she knew i hate to force myself to accept EY..she noes me jus too well!thanks meimei for ur sound advices!n yah shldnt care wad others sae..others' comment so lg as i noe wad im doing its good enuff..deres no nid to explain to anione bt my behavior..ive to ans to myself instead!u gtta tk care too yeah?yah we can both wrk twds our penthouse dream!!!haha
told daddy bt my decision..he was veri nice, more understanding den ma..nearly teared cos of his response..hes so supportive..'decide on ur own n tk the path which u tink is easier for u' tt's wad he said..i was super touched cox he din blame me for wasting his money for putting me thru a course which im no no interest in..he din complain abt it..thanks dad!!!im sorry for not decideing properly..mummy was complaining on the other hand n as usual said tt ive wasted their money..yah i agree but daddy stopped her frm nagging..sighh..its my fault for not making a wise choice not mking myself realise wad i really wan earlier..if not..sians..most prob i wld haf ended up in poly doing ma-comm/tourism/hotel mgmt n dis means i wldnt haf met all the frans alr..no ctc..no vj no 02s44..no nbs..of cox no him/em as well..mb tt wld be betta?den me wldnt be affected for the past mths..dat means me wld haf been wrking rite now!alot of changes i wld haf said..mwis more mature i can assure..shes noes n shes veri sure of stuff which i aint..shes definitely strger than me!enjoyed ytd's session thoroughly..im so blessed to haf so a sis! n family..at least im starting to feel tt my future aint tt bleak afterall
its late..i shall wrk hard twds my goal..ive done it once, done it twice n im gg to do it again!!its my life n im gg to steer it fwd heading twds my goals..not gifing up on things n i noe at the back of my mind tt goal will nv be extinguished..its really not the end for me..an imperfect joleen

i will survive eventually

piggish..

feeling tired again..today din accomplish much..suppose to finish chapter 5 of 306..instead was so exhausted tt me slpt for 15hrs n now still feeling the ZZZZ monster coming
ytd's 304's test was sucky!sians study so much but result doesnt show!if onli my hand wasnt itchy to haf changed the ans i cun haf jus passed..urghh
oh yah thanks zhiwei for ur bdae treat at jack's place orchard!!its been a long time since ive eaten at jack's!!n hopefully the swensons dessert was good enuff too!haha..interesting to hear bt ur diving trips n experiences!!so cool!wait till mes free to organise a 02S44 gathering..haha
toking to lin online n she mentioned bt the photos which clarence had uploaded..yah n it really brought back fond memories!those days when we gathered at the delifrance at citylink..so long ago tt the outlet has alr been replaced by the current asian kitchen..our xmas dinners followed by lord of the ring 1,2 n 3!still remembered von waking me up in the middle of the show cox me was so tired tt me jus dozed off!!haha..n best clarence was busy wishing us merry xmas when the clock striked 12!haha.. n the rest were lyk huh?haha..n celebrating darius' bdae last yr was at his hse n we had steamboat!haha..den me n von stayed over n watched a super crap shw w his bro darren..so funnie..those were the times..
clarence glad to haf read tt u r doing fine n busy settling down..n mus tk more pics of france k?UCL mus be so zai n post pics of ur room n sch k?i wanna see!!!haha
n darius!!u too! i wanna see pics of imperial college n oso pics of ur roomie..hopefully hes not gg to be a gay yah!!if not u cn jus arouse him n see wad he does!!!haha..all in all jus haf fun yah?
lin was saeing ive still gt time to consider..yah more of less its true..thanks ger for the little advices!thanksthanks!:)thanks frans for being supportive..the final decision means alot to me..thanksthanks..
mummy nv sae anything..i noe she wun be of much help..all alg since yg shes let us choose our path..when i was in p6 i knew veri well dat me had to excel ive always been in the best class my head is always held high!i mixed w the best peeps in sch..not exactly an elitist cox no matter hw good im im still not e best in class n in sch..jus cn sae im definitely no where below..i knew veri well dat my aim was dunman high..my dream sch cox my cousins were dere n i knew tt if i were to enter tt sch my parents wld be extremely proud of me..in the end i missed my 3 points..i failed:(
i din regret gg TKGS cos its a turing point for me..a change frm a meekly n soft spoken ger to one whu had to constantly speak up in sch..help w the class discipline n basicalli be a busy-body..ill now my pals still remember me as their chairman..haha..ive been lotsa frans even peeps whom i dunno noes of my existence!i was jus so so surprised when my one of my uni frans joy recog me when me dun even rem seeing her in my life in tk!waah..qiang!again i knew my goal..tt is to get into VJC no matter wad..not even TJ cox i hate the uniform..so i made myself study..started lyk half yr before hand n the sch lib becm my home!mugged till dusk bfore me headed home i rem..tink till the librarian noes me..yah n so me gt 4 points enuf for me to enter VJ n stayed..
it was den tt me started to fail my physics so i drpped first time in my life ive failed a subj one cld imagine the impact on me!of cos apart frm tt being the class rep again enabled my jc life to be extremely fulfilling..so much so tt im still in contact w my jc pals!!im jus so happy!my tk my jc frans!i knew uni is the next phase of my life..other than tt it was cloudy..i aint sure wad to studi..i din noe my interest till now..i din!regretting big time..real big time!!was to do amend lorhs?
daddys really getting old..fell sick tink its gastric..hes always speakinbg so little but u noe he does care..i saw him real up close today..pa uve wrked hard..all ur life..so sad to haf seen u aged..i wanna help i wanna contribute can i jus lyk stike a few million n u cn jus stay at home or go travelling n enjoy life w ma?it aint an easy yr for ya i guess..tik this the 3rd time this yr for u to haf fallen ill..u used to be strger..im getting worried:( ma too..both on medication..high blood n cholesterol..sighh
nows shes nagging again..complaining bt us..complaining tt children r a burden..complaining tt one shldnt gt married..the fuss..the illnesses which will follow when ones children grow up..etc. etc. seldom does she paint a good picture bt marriage..at least all tt ive hearf were n r going to be negative ones..:boys no matter hw nice they r they haf an agenda..man when they gt married they will chuck u aside, as bfs dey r good as husband u will see their true self etc. tec. sians..mb i do agree an extent..mb tts y i cn feel the impact on me..tink me sis too..on the other i cn sense her worries tt she wans us to find a bf soon or issit other wise?but all tt shes saeing pt to the former..dunno mb its jus typical mummy whu lyks to complain but its hafing an impact on us i can cfm!!so man or guys to us doent matter..
walked past prada n gucci stall at paragon ytd n thanks zw for reminding me bt my aim of hafing to upgrade myself!hopefully mes eligible enuf to walk in n sae i wan this n that!wah i wan!!den i can bring my mummy alg..n tt pair of diamond crusted heels!!woohoo!!dats damn nice lahs..but..hmm..dats so far away mans!
tmrs gg shopping w sis..going to dress nicely n wear my princessy heels!!tink ill gt blister!haha..but nvm!pretty can alr!haha..pengs cant stand myself oso but its onli when im in nice looking clothes tt will mk my day betta!
ill miss teaching my china kid..he did so so well for his prelims!im jus so proud of him!1st in class n 9th in standard n he gt 73 for eng!2 A* but missed by a mark to another A* for chinese..so proud of him!he will do well i noe..jus 5 more sessions den ive gtta sae byebye..its good in a sense cox me will haf more time n nt travel all the wae to bedok n stuff but..sighh..parting aint sweet..renxing uve gt a bright future ahead of u!a bubbly n brillant kid u r..hope me din bore u to death yeah?will miss the days when u keep calling me lao shi lao shi..thanks for the memeries n experience n i wish u all the best for ur PSLE!u will excel n perform!a high flyer u r..hopefully u will rem me as ur first kou you lao shi..n hopefully im of help to u yah?thanks for everything boy..ill never forgt teaching u:) gtta take care n haf fun when u r bk in china after ur exams..go n eat the food which u missed lyk yang rou tang niu rou mian n ur fav. jiao zi etc..5 more sessions n dats all..
gtta gp slp alr..waking up to mug for 306!sians

may the power be w me..
waiting for the 6th of oct!shans!i miss u!!!cya den!!

being nice doesnt mean it mus be reciprocated.at least its not necessary..

when e tough gets going..

still trying to complete my SSAs for the 10 MCQs auditing test tmr..sighh..super exhausted..jus cm bk frm tuition..
haf been reflecting alot these days..so much so tt i hoped tt i hadnt done so..my past my present my future..past wasnt real fantastic but wasnt tt bad..seriously if i were to mention bt my past im usually beaming w pride!my life as a student as a leader as a fran..nice..mb its cox of innocence n ignorant?din noe hw ive managed to struggled thru uni life to have come so far to the present..till now..jus realised tt me have been gifing tuition for the past 2.5 yrs..so long..roughly ard 8 students?i dun see a future for meself..i dunno wad to do?im perplexed by circumstances..i noe wad i definitely dun wan..but aint certain wad i really wan..if its another yr in moe it means alot..it means commitment to students, foregoing the EY offer, another yr in NTU, a yr later to bring money bk home..sigh...it aint jus as easy as ABC..regretted once which is to tk up accountancy..wun wanna commit the same mistake again..ming boggling..cnt jus apply n see how..it aint so simple.hw i wish i can be lyk some of my pals..the 'see how' attitude or wait n see..jus whack..ive whacked n im feeling the pain n trouble..time is all i nid i guess..mummy aint of help mb tokin to sis may be good..but we r all busy:(
sent clarence, our beloved CT khaki off on mon!our OCS OFFICER..his army frans went too so many!me emma darius zhixian were there n if lins ard she will be dere as well..daph was dere..its sad..i stupidly told clar not to go..so stupid ritex?cox it aint possible..he was strg to sae bye to us..so sad..daph said his granny looked sad..din tear cox i noe dey will be back next june!dey r gg dere for studies..haha..dey will be back:)
read darius' n clar's entries..yah clarence me n von will take care n waut for u darius n zhenhao to be back w us!uve gtta tk good care too!!n darius..u mus tk care as well yah!no stress no stress le..go dere no nid to gif bro tuition..yah..we will miss u guys!mb ill be in the teaching league as well?but of cox u peeps r scholars im not..haha..mb next time we can haf a teachers' gathering n celeb teachers' day tgt?haha..sds so fun ritex?wah so many councilors becming teachers n so mani w scholarships!tink VJ will be damn proud of our batch!!haha..
gtg cox meimei need her lappie..sigh..test n more tests!
its a tough period for me..to come to terms w things, w wrk..but ive to cheng!lyk wad ive been doing for the past years..looking fwd to metg shanx, von n gg out w meimei..i wanna splurge..but i noe i cant..deres an extent to things..
mb if i aint joleen i will feel betta?
at least he rems he cared he msged..thanks alot dude:)
dere r things ill nv forgt things i can nv let go but gt to..things which im regretting..things tt will nv change..things tt will last n continue n...n...

ARTY- FARTY

tmr will be a day w great sorrows..tmrs the 18th n clarence will really be gone..to UK..wah!yah i will b dere to send u off..hmm..gtta travel frm boon lay to changi..haha..wondering if the rest of my/ur scholarly frans will b dere..von will be dere i noe..n of cox darius!darius!urs will be in a week's time:( when it has to come it will come.n i hate it!hate it to the core!!
was toking to yiwen tt day..din noe u have the interest as well..haha..great!good tt our ktv sessions inspired u..the sleazy dynasty place..though the lemon honey doesnt even taste lyk lemon honey(its jus lyk water!!!)the total cost for a 3hrs session for each is jus 8 bucks!!wah..good good..though its all dark n a little stinko cox of the cigar..its cheap n comfy..haha..no wonder its a spot for all those china 'babes' to entertain all the se bei beis!
shall visit HARK's CAFE soon..heard its a cool place..sing not in a kyv 'box' but live on stage with the rest of the patrons as audiences!!wah!!u bet!ive gtta enjoy it..lyk wad mr. felix had said:' u missed being charmed by me!' nearly wanted to puke when i heard this!!haha..ello!!i noe u haf a good voice but pls dun sae such things lehs..sure pengs..okie..tts being self-confi!!good good!i shall learn frm u!!haha..yah gg bk to hark's!!hmm..sds nice singing alg with the live band n stuff..woohoo..perfect!!mb peeps will be 'charmed' by me too!!haha..( u r welcome to go n puke now!!)haha
this weekend suxs...study all the wae gtta rush n mug for 304 test!urghh..cant finish all the readings so ill haf to pick n choose..:P
looking fwd to break?no lahs gtta prep for another 306 test!urghh the killer n im at chapter 3 with partial knowledge..die!im a gonner..no no!!me cnt mus at least pass it!
me n daph went shopping on fri!great we both bot 2 things each!!n i bot an off shoulder black top!daph too a lg sleeved off shoulder..super happy cox ive been eyeing for one..a bit ex though but good material!!okie shall wear to sch next week!mb thurs?haha..happy..wanted to gt the unique shorts but den decided to go for the white covered heels!we spent at least half hr at charles n keith deciding which pair n colour to get!n deres up to 50% disct!!my my my ..my white ones looks so princessy!n im loving it!!great! cn b used for presentation also!heck pple wear black but i dun gif a damn!i wanna b different n wear white!!haha..rebellious huh?but so?haha..i lyk can alr..anw its not as if im presenting for bix comm..yah..im becming more n more lyk him..gosh..wanna go against everything..oopps!n daph bot the bronzey one!!wah my white heels..feel good in it!!n tink i look good at tt height too!!haha
hall mummy saes im playing hard to get..gt mehs..i dun tink so..gers shld haf the chastity..believing tt gers shldnt go after guys..even jolin tsai saes so!!yah i wun go after one even though he has the potential..one may sae its alr the 21st century..but u will be surprised tt my close frans r jus lyk this!we dun live for guys!!haf or dun haf?we cn still live on mans!!tts the TKGS spirit n the CT gers SPIRIT!!we cn survive well n abv even WITHOUT man!!yupps!at least shans von tings r lyk this..its not my style to do this n tt for them..dey cn do things on their own wad..y mus help them?as if they r crippled or sth?ooppss getting mean..but this is wad i feel..hey cmon mans this is not the wae..u listen to em etc..dey wil tk u for granted!of cox deres a limit..help cn onli be rendered if dey r realli in nid..other than dat hey able-bodied guys n if u call urself a man do things on ur own!dun depend on gers!!pengs..luckily my frans r sharing similar views as me..not a weirdo afterall!haha..
deres still hope after chatting w u dat dae..thanks for the compliment..thanks for the reassurances..deres still some light afterall?
todays gonna haf 2 sessions of tuition again..urghh..wanna concuss again..
high on wine!!i mean ICE winE!!mummy nv nag at me when i told her bt the drinking session..jus told me to watch myself next time n be careful tt my drinks wun be spiked..yah i agree..not a strg drinker..wine apprciation..nice!thanks prof lok!!
tmrs mon again..sians..yawning alr n its onli 1033 on a sun morn..can i dun go to sch n be lyk helen?stay at home n mug?den y m i paying sch fees?
daddys so nice helped me w my hostel fees n gv us money to spend:) whee!!! so my shopping spree on fri had been offsetted w tt amt!!n with my tuition fees..haha..still gt extra!!okie..hoping to watch devil wears prada n forbidden city!!hmm..nv been to esplanade to watch a high end musical before..mb im trying to be arty farty n stuff..but i do hope tt ill reach tt social class one day..a high class taitai..a high end wrking woman..teacher?haha..i wanna be my own devil donned in PRADA GUCCI GUESS ARMANI!!..haha..m i daydreaming or wad?

arty-farty? CFMED!!!

when im still sober..

decided to blog now bfore i concuss soon..yah still sober but a bit seh..haha
hall's prof invited the 23rd n 24th JCRC to his hse for dinner..wah..n before anything he started pouring wine into our glasses..initially rejected it cox not feeling well..in the end under pressure n out of curiosity me succumbed to it!!haha..tried beer bfore, had vodka..woohoo..the burning sensation jus deterred me frm touching em
my first contact w vodka was in yr 1 during NBS camp..it was jus a shot of vodka lime..quite nice but concussed..haha..then was sabo-ed to play game during hall bash n gulped down 2 mugs of beer in lyk seconds...3rd? last yr's DnD..some new flavours of vodka..suxs!eeeks..abstained frm then..haha
tonight it was a night specially 'dedicated' to wine..told myself me cnt but jus cld stp myself frm lifting the wine glass for more..tried at least 5 diff types!wow!!impressive!all expensive ones..started w the lowest alcohol content at 13%?proceeded to 20%..a bit sourish..eeks..den cm the 40%!!wah!!dats good!fermented madarin wine!!woohoo!but the best is always saved for the last!!we had ICE WINE!!10%!!wah!!so nice!!nv tried such good stuff before!!
drowning myself in wine n more wine..me n weiching were enjoying ourselves but she definitely took more than me..haha..mes not her match!shes zai mans!!
jus felt lyk drinking..it was great though i noe i din enjoy the taste..my throat my stomach were on fire..long time din haf this feeling alr..now a little giddy..haha..tink me cnt afford to go club or pub else sure chui!haha..nice nice!!
mb shld haf more of this kinda of sessions!den i can built it up!haha..drink n forget bt the problems the work etc. sians..mb tts y adults when they enter the corp wrld luf drinking..yah..he dao lan zui den no worries le!haha
okie..gtta go mug..mes gg to shp tmr..hopefully no hangover!
sorrie ma..me broke my promise again n again..u will kill me i noe if i were to tell u i drank..hopefully u will gt well soon..feel sad when u keep mentioning bt death..oh no!it seems as if gors premonitions n all those entries bt deaths r true..so sad:(
meimei..u r so stressed up..i m too..tts y we always quarrel nowadays..sighh..so sians..luckily 304 proj is over..1 less to do!urghh..tell me how i can earn big bucks so me can buy lotsa stuf?
heard frm daph dat wendy's alr at gucci n prada levis etc..im onli at mango:( sians..progressing to topshop or not even dere yt!!urghh! daphs at least betta!at mango n guess..
haha..high maintenance?nah me dun agree cox i do go bugis to gt cheap stuff..sigh..tink me will nid more yrs to reach her level..haha..but me dun mind cox at this moment me dun nid all these!!so still can wait!urghh..
cant tk panadol w wine in me else cfm die!
may the power be w me!

parting sux!

today went ktv for the 3rd time dis week..my throat is a bit sore now:(
was surprised to see yiwen n marcus but it was great to haf dem ard..or shld i sae the last time ill be seeing us tgt..sadness setting in..guess this feeling is gg to be w me for the next few weeks esp when clarence is flying off followed by darius!our buddie..deserting me n von in sing!!lin!!can u pls cm bk soon?the guys aint cming bk so soon..
as im typing tears welling up..dun realli wish o send u guys off den..4 yrs ago we meet in sch..its so sad to see u peeps go..oh mans..a weakling i m:(
its the franship which we had built over this 4 yrs cming 5..remember spending our xmases tgt..our new yr tgt..our outings..remember our 21 days in laos n bangkok..remembering our ct council days..our days n afternns n evenings spent at the stonetable..so fun..ill remember!
uni is different!its so superficial!everthing is so fake!i dun lyk!i seem to be feeling forever empty!forever alone!i aint enjoying my life!dats y im alwaya looking fwd to all the meetings!yah i mean it!!all my mtgs w yanshan tings charms..with clarence darius lin zhenhao marcus emma von!!!weinee!yah n of cox my forever fan!zhiwei!!the memories r dere i cfm!!now my lifes clouded..aint as carefree..aint as happy as before..lifes sux!everyday its wrk..cant relax..pple cm pple go..
i realli wonder hws life lyk if ive been to smu..mb its more for me?at least ive yanshan at least ive von!at least i aint alone in jalan bahar..i wun be a lost soul in jurong!
its my 3rd yr alr..thot ive gtten used to ll these..but apparently not..i miss my frans..my tk vj frans..sometimes missing turns into depression turns into regret..ill rather not tink bt it..hoping holidays will cm quickly hoping a sem will be over fast!vo next yr we go bangkok tgt k?when u grad we go look for clarence n darius k?when lin grad we go travel again k?
i noe ive to let go somehow..dey cnt be w me forever..i understd..i have to understd!
my term break is cming..shans n vons we mus meet up okie?

i noe if im gg to be alone..i still haf my bachelorette club:)

proud of myself!!cfm!

its a long n tiring day...me n 2 sis went to the HDB hub yah n waited..so long a q..haha..jus cm b frm dere..tking the rejection as an experience..its okie..cox this is cfm not the end of the world n its not gg to be the last..im still positive bt things:) at least ive my pals w me:) thanks for all the well wishes..haha..so tking things esy n back to work haha..hmm..there r 2 upcoming ones..so all the way n look fwd!haha..so now its gg bk to my studies..n mb time to look for a BF?haha..jus kidding:)
suddenli feeling a bit empty..or issit suppose to be a relaxed feeling?hmm dun wanna tink too much..it was an experience which i wld bear in bear!at least i cn tell my child tt ive tried..yah..no major lost wads..
proud dat ive taken the first start..its a little stumble but aint serious enuf to extinguish my passion for it!no no!never!ill still be a KTV princess turning queen!haha..so its KTV rd 3 tmr with councillors..yah the last time w my beloved frans!!:)

when i wake up tmr..its alr a memory..memory to last,stay n keep!

ive nv lufed myself so much before..e spirit within me lives on!:)

drawing nearer..

this is a special entry for joleen! :) good luck for your superstar quest....jiayou jiayou....though i always suan u... but i joking only lah...good luck k!! pursue ur dreams!! :) :) i'll definitely vote many many many times for u....trust me!! a few hundred calls k? juz GET IN!! :D good luck!

if i were to sae i aint afraid of sat..i will be kidding myself..kidding everyone!yes!im excited but im scared as well..wad if i screw it up?can i tk e result?i dunno..haf been telling myself not to pin too much hope n im realli psycho-in myself to tt!yes!nt getting far

i dun wanna disappoint my frans..esp kh n zhiwei..n darius n clarence?dey haf been very encouraging though the formers din hear me k bfore..thanks for the confidence in me..the abv blog entry was posted on kh's blog..veri appreciative n touched by it..thanksthanks..but looks like even ur good fran whus helping u at ur tuition center noes bt it too!whey!!u promised not to sae!n u broke ur promise!!result: vote a million n one time!!haha..no lahs jus kidding..as ive said many a time..i wun be dere its jus a try of luck n ill accept the outcome..yah i chose to put myself to this test n failure means ive room for improvement n of cox failure= ive gtta buck up!failure=disappointing my frans n of cox myself..it will definitely be a blow to me if i din geddit..but ill let fate decide..mb ill jus lock myself away..n move on after a while..to sae tt me aint disappoint tt the ktv session was cancelled mus be lying to myself..i noe i nid tt session but no choice..i do understd:)kh said tt me mus tell myself tt i wan it badly..haha..so wad if i wan it badly?haha..no lahs..for experience for experience n for FUN!!!

feeling lost now..was toking to daphne jus now while carrying out our duties..sharing our thoughts on matters n stuff..felt sweet n the feeling at those instances jus cm bk naturally..so naturally as if the scenes were re-enacted!he din care, he din bother to find out..great hor!2nd yr alr still din noe..

e steamboat is jus crazi..so mani pple..so mani freshies..all crowding around 4 steamboats..haha..nevertheless three cheers for the organisers!haha..not bad not bad..thanks for the effort..was alr hanging ard not noeing wad to do so cm bk to rm earlier..concussed!!

a lie

din noe if tt ans constitute a lie..a little defensive though..i aint sure..when questioned, my reponse was instant..so immediate tt me hadnt imagined..there was silence amgst us..n y mus u ask this qns out of nowhere..smart enuf of u to kkep the situation in ctrl..if it werent partly a lie..tink i wldnt care less when i gtta noe bt it
the topic as usual when we hall peeps gt tgt is bt hall couples or couple-to-be..yah so we gossipping bt whus w whu n whus not...as usual the pageant gers r the hotties!haha..of cox lahs..pageant lehs..n daph was so funnie..she asked me if me had regretted not be active in hall camp when i was yr one else mb i wld be in pageant too..haha..oh come on my dearie roomie!!how possible can it gt?haha..so yah
winnie was saeing guys go for looks..shallow..as for gers gd looking guys r for admiring..as bfs we will feel insecure..yah i agree..but dat doesnt mean any one will do..of cox nt cui kind..felix's stand: gers too pretty oso no good guys will feel insecure..i guess its both ways lahs
had fun during ktv ytd night and it was cheap!11.5 onli!!..though yj had sorethroat n cun realli enjoy himself..so poor thing:) hopefully can recover soon..n congrats yj!jiayou n work twds ur ger!!haha..my uncle my uncle!mus zaizai!
den as usual the topic will eventually lead to me..frm yr 1 till now still toking bt the rumour..aiyos hw back dated can hs n lh gt?haha..n cheeky winnie tried to sd me out as usual..haha..not once but twice..aiyos..so paiseh..pengs
these few days haf been in hall..quite nice i thought..OTOT:)
tonight is my handover night..after AGM i wld haf officially handed over my duties!wah okie mus pass all the files n barangbarang to my successor ltr!!but me mus go bk for tuition first!yah..tinking of skipping my 306 class at 830 tmr..nv do tut n dun tink haf time to do today:( there will be a massive BBQ in hall tmr n im so looking fwd to it mans!!haha..organise by our guy pres DARREn ma!haha..cool!n hoping to see mani seniors ard!haha
den cmes fri!haha..morninng will be KTV again..thanks zhiwei for wanting to acc. me for this last minute arranged session!!thanks alot!!my treat k since u aint singing at all..sobs:( no one sing duet w me!!den ill sure die..cox where gt solo 3 hrs one?haha..but realli appreciative for e offer n i nid it..feeling the jitters..haha..but ill jus enjoy n haf fun no matter the wads the turnout!
so sats burnt!den cm sun!haha..tuition earli in the morn den KTV with clarence von n darius at our usual sleazy KTV place call Dynasty near rocher rd..haha..so its lyk 3 sessions cramped into 1 week!heehee..tink ill head bk to hall after dat or mb ill go home..tink home sds better!!haha..
blessed with many nice pals ard..happiness fills my life i guess apart from the hectic wrkload im facing..all the more i mus treasure the few hrs i haf to enjoy!!
disliking the job scope and realising my calling? shall discover more bt myself..i gtta...being forced to...if not hw?
okie..its back to wrk!!

crafting my life

back in my little room in hall 3..tucked away in a little corner..the afternn sun is shining brightly outside..todays a tiring day..woke up at 430 to rush proh n took a MERceDES cab to hall!dats 18bucks!broke..carrying 3 textbooks n lappie..cnt imagine me slogging my way to the station..carrying so many things!urghh!
slpt late ytd at 1am..was happy though..had been a while since weve chatted online.nice feeling:P mb dats y me slpt better?haha
had proj mtg..cant stand..so long..so long..wanna die alr n tmrs round 2!!urghh..but tmrs diff!cox after dat will b gg KBOX with my usual ktv khakis..this session is long overdue!!haha..so happy!!
hey peeps pls pls dun go ard telling tt me mb joining k?so paiseh..pls pls dun spread animore:P
todays lecture made me dislike wad ill be doing even more..agreeing w wad zhiwei has said tt day..me shld do wad i like..its my life..
though this profession pays while in the long run, i feel tt its not for me..lg hrs..no life..i dun wan!sighh..
von!lets set up a slacker's club!!let us be slackerstars k?haha..we r in our bachalorette club alr!haha..so hw mani clubs r we gg to set up?haha..
gtta stay in hall n return home on fri dis week..tmr night ktv, wed night agm,thurs night help huijing..so tt explains..
betta go gt some slp n wk up to mug again..sigh..i cant see the light at the end of the tunnel:(
sians pimple outbreak!!worried sia..its a good thing tt theres makeup else ill jus stay at home n cry mans!!!

gor said tt my costume is too skimpy!haha..but lin saes its nice!!!haha..thanks linnie!!!



the 4 VJC BABES!!(missing those days..)



okie a pic at fionas 21st party..me n nic were made to play a damn RA game:P

one over another

suppose to go for 2 gatherings today..in the end went to darius' farewell and had to forsake the hall's JCRC retreat at huijings hse..felt a bit bad cox dey rest were there..but wad to do?when mes abt to leave for marine parade dey were bt to leave alr..so no pt cabbing down n go home after tt ritex? hate mking choices..but wad to do?
enjoyed myself though it was jus a short get-to-gether w von clarence darius zhixian n a new found fran!ziyang whus clarence's n darius' fran..haha..hes as crappy as us!!jus felt so relaxed w my frans ard!esp when me n von were chatting non stop n laughing till our stomachs hurt like hell!!!haha..those were the days!!i miss u VON!!!n im missing weilin as well!!!so far in korea!!!hey lin!if u r reading this entry...i wanna tell u dat JOLEENS MISSING WEILIN!!!:):):):)
sighh..headcount for today:5 w/o emma n yiwen n marcus..
in a few weeks time? left w me n von..darius n clarence will be gone too!best lahs our CT council guy khakis all gone!!haha..but dey r dere for a wrld class education!!one gg imperial..another in UCL n zhenhao in US oso!!best..all scholars..feeling so inferior..zhixian UCL MOE scholar oso..isacc...though marcus aint gg overseas.hes a MOE scholar as well!!wah!!!best lorhs..surrounded n drowning in the presence of so mani scholars!!!Wah..aint me a scholar as well?
i mus admit tt mes a mugger since young..studies have always been my No.1..wanted to go dunman high but cun gt in..dats was my dream sch..till i went to TKGS..yah dere me began to flourish!haha..as the class chairman for 4 yrs..those were the days when i was trained to lead to speak up in class.. to organise stuff n be independent..followed my VJ days!i was super glad tt me made it to my dream sch this time rd!!yah VJ made my days! frankly NTU aint my first choice..SMU was!cfmed!!more angmoh..if i were there i wld b in the citycampus alr!
hmm..mb cannot cannot..ill be more vain sia?haha..tinking of gtting a pair of heels!i mean another pair..haha..but its 40?shld i?mb i shall wait n see how..
next weeks gg to stay in sch till fri..
good..tues night ktv!wed night agm..thurs night helping huijing..jus help lorhs..
dun seem to agree on some ideas but mes gg to keep mum..yah jus shut n nothing will happen!hmm..okie..shall shw a few more photos!!!haha









this is my KTV khaki!haha

a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/7015/450/1600/incans%20mass%20photo.0.jpg">

this is me w daph in our arabian costumes for our Hall's Dinner and Dance!!!



hmm..this is my solo photo!!







yupps!jus a preview!will post more next time..gg to gif tuition on teachers' day today!!haha