iS diS mY lIfE???

im jus exhausted..tired...physically...mentally n emotionally...

everything isnt ritex for me.....dis is nt wat i wan!i wanna run escape..to a place faraway..nt sc..no pressure..my life us empty at the moment...onli me frans me families..dats enuf!

realli?
i dunno...y?whenever im alone...ill haf dis feeling..im lonely?nO!!!but is dis a denial?i dunno!im realli troubled..or mb is jus plain exhaystion..i wanna go to the beach...the boundless sea!th blue horizon!i miss east coast...i wanna bike but dunno hw to cycle...i wanna feel the wind against me face...

feeling empty nw...i mean ritex nw as im typing...haf a lot to sae...but guess its jus nt rite to do so...i mean dis me blog i can type watever i wan but....

frans pls keep it a secret esp if ya haf read n r still reading...

let me gt sm slp n ill continue 'reporting' wad happened...

a blistered gal awaits..

tOdAE iS e eNd..bUT iTs nT fOR e frieNDShIP fOrgED!!!!

act. wanted to blog yesterdae but was super tired...urghh...cldnt believe dat i slpt at 530am the dae bfore...oh no!!!
mus gt back all my beauty slp this cming recess wk!!!!if nt...gosh!!!!
yesterdaes performance werent up to me owns satisfaction...i mean my own part..TODAY mUS AND CAN DO IT!!!!

after today 1030???everything will be over..real over...haha...but its a great feeling..no more packed suns...haha...but kinda miss the practices sm times...

sort of lking fwd to after perf...we r gg to spend the nitex tgt!!!!haha...fun fun...lg time nv go out late alr.!!!!yippee!!!!

kkie...betta gt prepared to meet in 1/2 hrs time...n all mugging activities will start in MON!!!this mon!!!!n of coz projS!!!!n EXAMS!!!!

god bless us all!!!!

iTs HeRe...FINALLY!!!!

finally...my halls production is finally here...very sn it will b over sn!

ill realli miss it!!!despite all the lg rehearsals..the scoldings..ill miss the people!!!the time we spent gossiping..playing...suaning one another...the suns we spent tgt...those canvassing times..laughing at one other's makeup...the list goes on...

the pple of coz...ill MISS...my cabaret mummy!!!my twin!!!cindy...my dancer frans...eliza+liying...my jiemei!!!cabaret gals!!!!huiqi n angeline...of COz!!!my veri impt dance PARTNER...charmaine...haha.....n oso super onz seniors lyk huifen...xuefen...seok ling...miner...grace for the hair...fione for e makeup...nt forgtting the directors!!!!yunting n skye...oooppsss still haf our chairman...weisheng!

nice things mus cm to an end!!!its a fact!!!!

current feeling: dead fish...super shag...hurt!as if a thousands pins r piercing into my heart...i dun understd y it is lyk dat...i jus dun...NO!!! oh NO!!!

i GoT e aNsweR finalllllllllly:(

in jus two daes..two impt things happened...its bad...

im slpy....but daphs words were heartbreaking for a moment...yah i mean for a moment...
but at least i noe his std n it wun b awkward animore...haha

e other finally gt wad i mean!!!n me std!din xpect his msg yesterdae...but at least hes nt a blkhead afterall...gd!

the other?
haf been msnsing for the past daes...hes always dere to listen to me crap/complains...etc...but as ive saed we cn b gd frans...haha

my dance partner is super nice...haha...im feeling so blessed to haf known her...

deteriorating every moment....im depressed...YESH!ive admitted..yes...the sadness is sinking in...realli deep dn

hes nt dere for me...hes smwhere else....but as ive saed...hes onli my.....

a sunken heart:(

i goT mY anSwer:(

haha...jus when i was bt to gif up...

oh no...

act. din wanna blog again ina dae...or shld i sae in 13 hrs?
but tink it shld b more/less aworthwhile entry bah...

jus when i was bt to gif up n sae ill surrender..we msned again...n yes..on vdae...haha

started wif him thankin me for the rocher n we jus crapped a bit...haha..den we drifted to my mummy...den bt his nick n such...though its nt a lot...but haha...it feels great...haha

the feeling is jus light an almost extinguished flame being rekindled...slightly:P i dunno whether its gd /bad...i jus dun wanna place too much hope n will jus see hw...let things be bah joleen...

came across this song last wk during mood for love..so nice.....its tong hua!super romantic...if smone were to sing dis to me...ill jus simply melt...haha...oh no...haha

feeling real slpy nw...letting things b on their own....

我要变成童话里 你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局 我会变成童话里
你爱的那个天使 张开双手变成翅膀守护你你要相信
相信我们会像童话故事里 幸福和快乐是结局 一起写我们的结局

mUggING vALentine!!!

todae is valentines dae again...as usual...spending it alone...but w/o shan to acc to me delifrance n spending it in hall w daphne....do wad?

mug..MuG...MUGGGGGG...yes!!!!MUG for test tmr n THURS!!!!NOTIME FOR THE REST OF THE WK COZ Perf is on fri n sat:) wed gg dn nafa to rehearse...tmr rehearse in sch n thurs oso...aiyo..betta complete dis entry fast!!!so i cn go mug for the rest of the dae!!!

frans!!!thxs for wanting to cm to support k:)

yesterdae had rehearsal...full dress...finally felt dat the gns r still manageable...so i shall stick to the diet plan...haha..nw eating lotsa vegie n dats it!haha

bought 56 rochers to dist to frans n gues wad spent lyk 50 bucks on em!haha...

frans frm vj n tk n frans..u guys gt no fu qi alr...haha...was surprised dat he act. passed me a soft toy in exchange for the rocher...haha...but me dun lyk soft toy!!!!haha

fran frm dnstairs bought us roses...haha...nice nice..but eventually the rose ill die..he didnt do anithing...i dun care...haha...me nt gg to care liao!jus gonna concentrate on my studies after dis sat....do i really wan this fri n sat to cm n pass?

nt really...me feeling chengzhong nw...its gd dat we dun need to to cm bk on sun nitexs..the pple...they r those whom ill miss...my 2 other cabaret gals...my twin cindy...mummy teresa..eliza n liying...jessica?haha...nt coz the funni cabaret guys lyk shiwang...shuai shuai jian ming...e ever so slpy lk kevin...nerd nerd qien....my dance partner!!!!charmaine of coz...n ill miss his voice....bernard!haha..

tink i shdnt babble on so much...mus gt to work alr....great...gg to do online quiz nw...everyone take care n dun forgt to cm support me k???thxs frans!!!

pLS leT tIMe FREEZE!!!

after acc tut clas....haf lect ltr but khakis went hm..dat means deres a high possibility dat ill skip...but after sm rest ill do my biz law tut!!!haha. ..

hafta study for tests during CNY>>>>the worst is dat ive to cm bk for rehearsal on chu san nitex!!!!!dis wkend will b spent in hall!!!!!gosh!!!will pia lyk siao!!!NO TIME!!!gosh!!!

rehearsals?every session will gt scolding....sighh...but we r realli nt serious so i guess dats the reason...
panda eyes...tonitex at 1030pm...tmr gg to wake up real earli to chiong hm n mug MUG MUG!!!!!

incentive for tonitex?gttao see gor ...act. to pass him stuf!!!haha...he msned me yest nitex...haha..said dat hell rem me whenever he uses my ntes...haha...daph saes its super sweet...but ill rather nt..coz....oh PLEASE!!!!gor gor gor.....!!!can ya pls dun shw me so much concern?its nice but pls...overdose will cause me harm!!!if ya din noe...cant let ya noe...else i cnt forsee wat will happen!!!so pls......

tok to him for 3 hrs!was surprised by this oso....dunno y jus managed to tok...but everytime hell tok bt boy gal stuf...mayb jus trying to find out more?haha..i onli treat him as a fran:) potential to b a gd fran...mayb shld nt shut dn dis option...but me dun haf e kind of feeling nw....

yest jus realised dat qian ming was frm ctc oso...sm more my direct senior!!!wad a coincidence!!!haha...seriously speaking, hes a gd choice too!!!haha...nt bad nt bad....haha...

im tired of all these....y cnt time jus freeze???????

nt matter hw bad i dread CNY...ill still wish all happy CNY n HAPPY VDAE!!!!

dEsperate waiting...AINT ya gonna do sth?

hmm...its yet another thurs:(

this means dat its the end of the wk n the next fresh wk is cming...it doesnt help dat next wk is CNY....will be spent mugging for the tests for the wk after...n guess wad!!!! my performance has come!!!!stressed! ive gt to lose 2 kilos n yes!!!im realli doing so....

v dae cming...its gonna b another another lonely yr...haha...act. i dun mind staying in hall to mug for the tests...ive no time aniwae!

he did try to sd me out if ive gt a date...n i jus mentioned im gg hm...wun noe if i will agree if he asks again...coz..me tink hes nt the one...but hes nt doing anithing substantial....im nt gg to care...its him whos nt max. the opp....mayb its nt wat ive thot all alg....im tired w this....tink im nt being fair to him....gif him a chance?im nt sure...but its nt 'the' feeling...i guess....

nt much time to think of these..but sm times the thots will jus surface....'lets things be joleen',this is wad i always sae...yahyah..i will stick to it!!!

hes my gor n he will n always be....no matter wad he saes n does...hes mus still b gor!yes!gor!!!its been 6 mths!i jus cnt believe it!yah...HES ONLI MY GOR N ILL ALWAYS BE HIS MEI.....

it hurts actually...'u r my one n only mei!'...im confused by my own feelings...y?hes my gor...i swear!!!